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WJW TV-8’s The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show – “The War of the Gargantuas” (March 29, 1997)

March 29, 1997. 20 years ago this very day. Let me set the scene: I was not yet even 11-years-old, Easter was the very next day, and as such an Easter Egg-hunt at a nearby park occupied a portion of the afternoon. It was overcast as I recall it, but not rainy. As a young Star Wars nut, I was reveling in the burgeoning new action figure line (at the tail-end of what is probably socially acceptable, age-wise, to still play with toys) and the special edition re-releases of the trilogy, though I only saw the first film in the theater. A trip to the grocery store with my mom and brother following the egg hunt yielded me a Star Wars-themed issue of Cracked, though the whole situation had a damper put on it by a tabloid that promised late-1990s end-of-the-world predictions by Gandhi, which freaked out stupid naive 10-year-old me. Kinda funny that I can look back in nostalgia at something that caused me so much consternation 20 years ago, probably because I’ve got real problems to worry about now.

Anyway, it was against this backdrop that I myself recorded Big Chuck & Lil’ John’s Couch Potato Theater, their Saturday afternoon installment of their popular WJW TV-8 program. This wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment taping; I wasn’t doing that so much yet. Rather, as a growing fan of giant monster movies, the revelation of The War of the Gargantuas listed in TV Guide that week made this can’t-miss-television for yours truly. I had never heard of the film, but as per the synopsis in TV Guide, it was big ol’ monsters, and it was Japanese, so naturally it was right up my alley. Needless to say, I had to tape it, which also needless to say, is why we’re here now.

Couch Potato Theater wasn’t all that different from Chuck & John’s normative (by their mid/late-1990s standards) Friday night show, except it was generally shorter (typically a strict two hour time slot, as compared to the two and a half, or more, hours of the Friday installment), and with a more eclectic range of features presented. Don’t get me wrong, just like their normal show, the movies shown on Couch Potato Theater ran the gamut of all genres; I mean, the first Big Chuck & Lil’ John I ever taped was a Couch Potato Theater presentation of The Karate Kid, and that was in 1996. But, Couch Potato Theater could also delve into more “traditional Saturday afternoon” fare; Superhost type stuff. That is, vintage short comedies and, of course, old school sci-fi and horror. I certainly didn’t realize it at the time, but this was at the very end of the era when you could catch flicks like this on Saturday afternoons with any kind of regularity (and I’m stretching the term “regularity” here; I direct you back to the aforementioned Karate Kid).

We’ve seen a lot of Big Chuck & Lil’ John on this blog, most recently via a broadcast of Terror of Mechagodzilla that I taped later in 1997. But, except for a brief excursion in this old article and a possible exception with this “Pregame Show” post, Couch Potato Theater has sadly been neglected here, which is a shame, because it was more responsible than anything for making me a BC & LJ fan. (More so a few years after this broadcast, when I began watching old Abbott & Costello episodes on the program and consequently really ‘getting’ Chuck & John; when I taped this, it was pretty much all about the movie.) Seriously, you have no idea how nostalgic that bumper above makes me; it perfectly encapsulates the “lazy Saturday noon movie” vibes of local television at that time.

We’ll get to the Big Chuck & Lil’ John stuff in a moment. But first, the movie.

I was all prepared to say this flick hadn’t yet had an official video release when this aired back in ’97, but I was failing to recall the 1992 Paramount VHS (which, in my defense, I was not aware of until years later). Of course there’s been some official DVD releases in more recent times, but the fact remains that Gargantuas was not all that easily found by the late-1990s. Heck, it doesn’t look like it’s all that easily found now; unless you wanna stream it via Amazon, it’s apparently out-of-print on DVD.

Released in Japan in 1966 (don’t let the copyright date in the screencap above fool you; 1970 was the year of the American theatrical release), The War of the Gargantuas is a Toho kaiju (aka, big huge monster) film, in the vein of Godzilla and the like. That is, lotsa city-crushin’ and whatnot, though this time with American actor Russ Tamblyn starring (and really starring; this wasn’t a cut-and-paste job like Raymond Burr in Godzilla, King of the Monsters). It’s not a particularly well-regarded entry in the genre. Not critically, anyway; Leonard Maltin gave it a BOMB rating, I seem to recall TV Guide only allowing it one star out of a possible four, and even Lil’ John, at one point late in this broadcast, diplomatically states “Not the best movie we’ve ever had on…”

I can’t agree with any of that; I have always loved this movie. I loved it upon first viewing, and I’ve loved it in the years since. In fact, and I know this is anathema to admit, I love it more than the far more highly-regarded Rodan and Mothra. Indeed, I’ve traditionally had a hard time getting into Toho’s non-‘Zilla kaijus, and that isn’t a retroactive repositioning of my stance, either; this goes back to when I was seeing all this stuff for the first time, and thus, an easy audience. (Mothra in particular has just never done anything for me, and the theatrical Rifftrax Live presentation of it some months back did little to change my mind – though Mike, Bill & Kevin were terrific, as usual.)

But The War of the Gargantuas? Something about it has always clicked for me. No, it’s not high art, and even I won’t argue that it’s Toho’s finest hour, but still, it just works. I’m not even sure if I can accurately state why it works for me, it just does. It’s silly, sure, but in a good way; it’s entertaining, and it’s fun. In other words, perfect Saturday afternoon fare, even if magazines were claiming Gandhi said I was a goner at the same time. It’s impossible for me to separate it from my personal memories now, but even years ago, when those would have been less of a nostalgic factor, Gargantuas did (does) everything right in my eyes.

It’s also a sequel of sorts to 1965’s Frankenstein Conquers the World (released in the US in ’66). Much to my regret, I still haven’t seen that movie, but this hasn’t hurt my enjoyment of Gargantuas any, and it shouldn’t yours, either. There’s apparently a vague reference to the first film, but the US version omits any direct references – from how I understand it. Point is, don’t hold off on seeing Gargantuas if you haven’t seen Conquers.

Spawned from the skin cells of the Frankenstein monster in Conquers, Gargantuas (as you may surmise from the title, and if not, at least the screenshot above) details two “humanoid creatures,” the appropriately deemed “Gargantuas.” One, a “Green Gargantua,” is a disagreeable sort; he smashes up boats and causes havoc in general. You know, as you would expect in a movie such as this. This creature comes from the sea, and has an appropriate, seaweed-like appearance. (That’s him to the right above.)

At the same time, there’s also a “Brown Gargantua,” who is much more amiable. This one lives in the mountains, and was actually in the possession of Dr. Paul Stewart (Tamblyn!) and his assistant years ago, before he escaped. (The creature I mean, not Tamblyn.) Because of his upbringing with humans, Brown Gargantua is much more gentle, and provides the heroic role of the movie. (That’s him with his back to you on the left above; aren’t I helpful?)

Eventually the two creatures meet up, and while there is initially a kind of brotherly connection between them, Brown Gargantua soon sees what a complete cad Green Gargantua is, and that’s where our title begins to make sense. With Green Gargantua trying to destroy mankind, and Brown Gargantua trying to protect it, the stage is set for some city-smashin’, and that’s exactly what the film provides. Also, some cool laser effects and an underwater volcano that (SPOILER!!) ends the film on an ambiguous note.

Fans of monster-induced destruction will dig all this. It moves at a decent pace, there’s plenty of action, even a few pathos, and personally, I like that there are no alien-based threats to be found, something that would soon become increasingly commonplace in Toho kaijus. (Though ironically, when Gargantuas was first released in the US in 1970, it was on a double-bill with Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, then called just Monster Zero, which happens to be one of my favorite “bad ol’ aliens” Japanese giant monster flicks. Go figure!)

One final comment on the movie before we get to the Big Chuck & Lil’ John segments: “The Words Get Stuck In My Throat.”

No, that’s not me being cute (and pretty nonsensical, if you think about it) about writer’s block. Rather, it’s the subject of one of the most memorable scenes in the film. In it, Kipp Hamilton (who somehow gets “Special Guest Star” billing in the opening credits) sings a song by that title. I hate to say this, especially since Mrs. Hamilton passed away in 1981, but it’s a pretty terrible song. Nevertheless, she gets to perform it at a nightclub, and upon her finishing, Green Gargantua sneaks up behind her, snatches her up, and then drops her! Guess he didn’t like the song! (Unless it’s in the uncut version, whether Kipp dies from the fall or not is never revealed.)

This scene is often brought up when the subject of The War of the Gargantuas comes about, and it’s solely due to how bad the song is. There’s no arguing that, but you know, there’s something about it that has rung a bell for me ever since I first saw/heard it. Some vague, dusty recollection in the back of my mind that was triggered upon initially hearing it. I hadn’t seen Gargantuas prior, and I highly, highly doubt it stuck in my mind due to some random channel-flippin’ at some unknown point in the past. Nevertheless, something about Kipp’s voice and the lyrics sounds familiar. I can’t explain it, and I sure can’t place it, not then or now. My conclusion is the same today as it was back in 1997: I probably heard a song on Sesame Street or some such program in my early, formative years (which I really wasn’t that far removed from at the time) that subsequently reminded me of it. That’s the best explanation I can come up with, anyway.

And that brings us to the rest of the show.

With only two hours allotted and the need for commercials, never mind the movie, the Big Chuck & Lil’ John segments are somewhat limited here; I’ve been so used to watching old episodes of their Friday night show that I totally forgot how (relatively) scaled back Couch Potato Theater could be. Oh, don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t exactly Sunday-era Ghoul, the guys are still all over this broadcast, there could be no mistaking what you were watching, it’s just that it all moves faster than their ‘regular’ program. Again, perfect for a Saturday afternoon.

Anyway, the first host segment proper included an announcement that I could not be happier to have saved to tape, even though it took me years to realize it: Ghoulardifest! Yep, the very first Ghoulardifest is announced as a “go,” with several guests (including The Ghoul!) already booked. That inaugural Ghoulardifest, as of this broadcast, was going to be one day, August 16, at a Holiday Inn in Independence, OH, though I wasn’t there, so that may have changed/expanded closer to showtime. Nevertheless, it’s wild to look back on the opening salvo of what has become a three-day, annual extravaganza. I, of course, have written about Ghoulardifest some 70,000 (approximate estimate) times by this point; here’s just one of them. (It’s also weird to realize that Ernie “Ghoulardi” Anderson had only passed away the month before when this aired.)

Also, Chuck mispronounces “Gargantuas” as “Gargantuons” and gets bopped in the head by John with a styrofoam hammer.

The skit immediately following that segment feels like something I’ve written about before. Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t; I did only the briefest of searches before deciding it doesn’t really matter. It’s the “Certain Ethnic Alarm Clock,” in which a wife’s clock goes off at 7 AM, giving the expected digital readout. The husband’s (Chuck’s “Stash” character) goes off soon after, and gives a literal digital reading of a ‘normal’ clock. A simple premise, but I’ve always really liked this one.

Another simple one, and very brief, too. A man (John) absorbed in reading his paper as he enters the “Parma Skydiving School” gets a rude surprise – too late! Let the pictures do the talking above. Gotta love aerial footage and green screens!

Trivia time. I’ve mentioned my semi-frustration with these audience trivia-quizzes before, because more often than not I knew the answer, yet was never there in-person to collect the sweet, sweet rewards. This may be the most egregious of that lot: winner had to guess the name of the movie poster presented. It’s The Amazing Colossal Man. Of course it’s The Amazing Colossal Man. What’d they win? A coupon for a free 12-pack of any Pepsi product. That’d be like a day’s supply for me! (Now, not back then.)

(A “Bus Driver” skit, in which Chuck asks passengers to move to the back of a public bus and floors it when they don’t, followed this trivia segment. In a misguided effort to speed things along here, I didn’t take any appropriate screencaps.)

It really feels like I’ve written about this one before, though I like it enough to give a brief go again (plus, I don’t feel like digging through old articles for something that, again, doesn’t matter).

Here, John is a “Lucky Charms” salesman (as in little trinkets, not the cereal), who convinces Chuck to buy one of his products. As it turns out, it was the last in stock, and just as John is packing up to go home and get some more, a safe falls on him!

More trivia. Winner this time got a $20 comic shop gift certificate. The poster art is of course Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. Too easy! Not fair!!

A genuine classic skit, and one of my favorites. If *I* were in charge of a top-however many skits compilation, I’m pretty sure this would make the final cut.

John plays the much-verbally-abused husband of Carmella (I can’t remember her last name), working six and a half days a week, tired, and just wanting to take a load-off after a long day by watching some TV. I think we can all relate. This, of course, is not good enough for the wife, who endlessly berates him over the length of time it’s been since they’ve been out to eat, gone dancing, and had her hair done. She even throws in a variation on the old “mother warned me about you” line.

The tide of nagging is momentarily stemmed when John announces they’re playing “their song” on TV – only to then turn up the volume and reveal that’s it the old “Hefty Hefty Hefty – Wimpy, Wimpy Wimpy” commercial jingle! This, naturally, results in him being chased around the kitchen by his now really mad wife!

I sometimes wonder what theoretically happened after these skits faded out. Did they make up? Was John able to calm her? Or was the homicide squad eventually called in? I’m probably thinking too much about this.

You can’t say Chuck & John weren’t masters of the green screen.

Here, Chuck’s Stash character is a balloon salesman, and John plays a little kid (he usually did), who eagerly wants one specific balloon. He eventually gets it, only to reveal that it’s a string attached Stash’s head, which floats away with John as he leaves. Stash seems apprehensive with the situation.

Did this effectively end Stash’s life? Was his head eventually returned to his body? Or did both entities continue, somehow, living independent of each other? I’m probably thinking too much about this.

Some brief announcements before heading into another skit. That next Saturday night, Chuck & John would be appearing at a local sports bar, and the next Sunday afternoon they’d be at a Parma Heights library benefit. BC & LJ did (do) so many of these types of appearances, they almost have to all blend together for them by now, but that doesn’t mean it’s not fun seeing the various places they’d be back in the day.

The kind of topical (though it was almost certainly several years old by then anyway) skit that still holds up.

John and another “gringo” find themselves on the execution line of a Hispanic country of some sort, and are given a last request. The unnamed “gringo” (who is given a good ol’ boy appearance) just wants to hear his favorite song one last time. What is it? “Achy Breaky Heart.”

John’s last request? They shoot him first! It’s a funny moment, made all the better by the knowing nod of the dictator (?) in charge of the execution.

A brief skit that’s actually more clever than I initially gave it credit for.

Chuck is a pharmacist who finds himself being held up by an obviously old woman with a bag over her head (Mary Allen, who was great in everything). She doesn’t want money; she wants Retin-A! Retin-A is a skin-revitalizing treatment, which makes the whole bag-on-head thing not only a disguise, but a commentary on aging. Funny!

Annnnd, that finished the show up. Next week on Couch Potato Theater? Eddie & The Cruisers! Had I been the age I am now back then, I’d have definitely taped that one, too. (Plus, sensationalist tabloids in the check-out line at the grocery store wouldn’t have been cause for concern, because my brain eventually formed enough to realize they’re fake). The show next Friday night was Lord of the Flies, which really isn’t my cup of tea (enjoyed the book, though). John’s loud and enthusiastic “BYEE!” he always used and a shot of the Boy Scout attendance-heavy audience closes the episode out.

(Oddly enough, I didn’t catch any references to Easter being the next day, and there sure weren’t any especially-Easter-ish skits, but I looked it up, it’s true.)

You know, after my latest revisit of this recording, it’s amazing how much of it is ingrained in my memory. Okay, yeah, not a big surprise considering I grew up with this tape, but there really are several moments burnt into my consciousness that I, quite honestly, didn’t expect. I mean, sure, “The Words Get Stuck In My Throat” and other parts of the movie itself, definitely, but also quite a bit of the show as a whole; skits, bits of dialog, the trivia, stuff like that.

Usually at this point, I would look at interesting commercials that aired during this broadcast. I’m going to skip that portion this time around; there weren’t really any particularly notable ones (unless you consider a promo for The Gladys Knight Show and an ad for Handi-Snacks notable, and I don’t). But they really aren’t important here. Nope, this subject is one that’s heavily, heavily tied to my personal memories; as such, it may be hard for some readers to ‘get it,’ but I trust everyone can relate in some way to what I mean. In that regard, there was the program itself; my first exposure to what has become a personal favorite Toho movie of mine, and of course there’s the Big Chuck & Lil’ John material, which I only came to appreciate more and more as time went by.

But beyond all that, it’s where this falls in my lifetime. There’s an “aura” about this recording that will (probably) be all but impossible for someone else to accurately understand, but is something that I can never extricate from the proceedings. The events of that day, my age, my interests, all things I look back on now with a wistful fondness. I think it goes back to that weird tabloid scare I’ve referenced several times; a silly fear now, of course, but it points to an innocent naivete that was, quite frankly, probably preferable to the worldly cynicism I often exhibit nowadays.

And that, my friends, is the magic of videotape technology in a nutshell right there. Not just the capturing of a program to view again and again in the future, but also the capturing of a specific time and place, which can also be relived once more. Your childhood can come back alive, if even for only 2 hours.

WJW TV-8’s The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show – “Terror of Mechagodzilla” (December 12, 1997)

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“How’d y’all find somethin’ from just a week later, North Video Guy?”

Remember last Monday, when I spotlighted my own personal recording from December 5, 1997, 19 years to the day? Evidently, your Northeast Ohio Video Hunter was a busy little taper in the waning weeks of 1997, because just a seven days later, I recorded yet another powerhouse of a broadcast – and directly after that Son of Ghoul episode from last week, to boot! By and large, I taped things I was interested in (“gee, no kidding!”), but even so, very rarely did I capture a phenomenal double-header such as this.

From December 12, 1997, 19 years ago today (!), it’s The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show, and its presentation of Terror of Mechagodzilla. Rest assured, if the post last week got my nostalgia rolling, this one here blasts it sky high.

Coming at a time when my Godzilla fandom was at (or very near) its height, and as part of general Christmas-month festivities, you have no idea what fond memories that bumper above fills me with. Man, I was 11-years-old, Christmas (and Christmas break!) was right around the corner, and I was discovering a new-to-me Godzilla flick; an early Christmas gift if there ever was one! Throw Big Chuck & Lil’ John in that mix, and, well, does it get much better than that? I posit that it does not.

Also, depending on how busy/lazy I get, there may or may not be an actual Christmas post here at the blog. So for the time being, consider this it, okay?

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This broadcast was also a life-preserver of sorts.

In a story I have recounted before, my parents dropped cable near the end of summer ’97. The cable box was too expensive, and having even less money than I do now, I didn’t have much say in the matter. So, for the foreseeable future, basic television channels were going to be it. As a young film-buff, this was not an ideal situation, with the most grievous aspect being that Mystery Science Theater 3000 was now barred from me. I was (and am) a big-time MSTie, so this hurt deep.

Actually, the loss of the Sci-Fi Channel as a whole was a serious blow to yours truly. Their Godzilla marathons were things of beauty, serving to introduce me to many entries I was unaware of prior, especially the 1970s stuff, some of which was out of print or otherwise not readily available on home video in the late-1990s. Coincidentally, one of the last things I taped before we dropped the cable box was Sci-Fi’s airing of Godzilla Vs. The Cosmic Monster, the prequel to the very film we’re looking at now!

There were some positives to being cable-less at the time, however. First and foremost, I now had to pay more attention to the local channels available to me. That’s how I came to be a Son of Ghoul fan. And, looking back, it was in this time period that the seeds of a legit love for Northeast Ohio broadcasting were first planted; that love would blossom in full within the next few years, and continues at full-strength to this very day.

Also, there was another silver lining: In the late-1990s, Godzilla films could still show up on ‘regular’ TV channels. It seems that steadily decreased as the 2000s dawned, and in retrospect I was witnessing the tail-end of it here, but at the time, all I knew was that I had the opportunity to catch a ‘Zilla flick unbeknownst to me prior.

And so here we are, Terror of Mechagodzilla. I needed some fresh ‘Zilla in my life, and this came at just the right time. I can still recall the excitement upon first seeing this listing in TV Guide that week; I’m not sure I was even aware of this film beforehand! That’s the title screen up above, by the way. The Terror of Mecahagodzilla title as seen here always looked newly-generated to me, and thus, I think the print aired by Big Chuck & Lil’ John that night was the same one as released on home video in the late-1980s. This movie went through a number of edits in the US, and frankly, I’m not sure exactly which one I’m looking at here. I guess it’s the chopped up US theatrical edit. This is the one I grew up with, at any rate.

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Made in 1975 (but not released in the US until 1978), Terror of Mechagodzilla is a direct sequel to Godzilla Vs. The Cosmic Monster, aka Godzilla Vs. The Bionic Monster, aka Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla. In that one, alien ape guys had created a robotic double of Godzilla, as part of the expected “take over earth” plot. Godzilla (and new buddy King Caesar) naturally intervened. Earth was saved, ‘Zilla’s good name was cleared, and so on and so forth.

Now, in Terror of Mechagodzilla, the aliens are back; not only do they have continued plans to take over the world (of course), but they also want to revive Mechagodzilla. And, with the help of a human scientist that hates all mankind (bet it’s fun looking in the mirror each morning!) and his now-cyborg daughter (she was dead then she wasn’t; thanks aliens!), they summon heretofore-unknown undersea monster Titanosaurus to team up with their Mechagodzilla to help eliminate Godzilla once and for all.

Above: Godzilla suffering a beat down at the hands (claws?) of his robotic clone and Titanosaurus. You can probably guess the eventual outcome, but Terror features (in my opinion) some significantly more exciting monster battles than many (most?) of the immediate (read: 1970s) Godzilla films preceding it. Also, even though he has a bit of human help with Titanosaurus, it’s nice to see Godzilla on his own, not having to team up with another giant monster (or in Jet Jaguar’s case, robot) to get the job done.

Terror of Mechagodzilla is unique in several respects. First off, it’s the last entry in the original “Showa” series (1954-1975, or 1956-1978 if you go by US release dates); Godzilla would take a break until the mid-1980s. That means this is the last of my “preferred” Godzilla flicks – the 1980s on up entries have never done much for me, and trust me, I’ve tried. (Is that anathema to admit? Oh well, it’s the truth.)

Furthermore, I can’t think of a single entry in the original Showa series that’s a direct sequel such as this one (unless I’m just totally blanking on a similar, earlier occurrence; correct me if I’m wrong, big time G-fans). There were prior Godzilla movies that sort of followed along from previous events (for example, Godzilla is buried in ice at the end of Godzilla Raids Again, he breaks out of ice at the start of King Kong Vs. Godzilla), but to actually pick up on the story line from the film right before, same antagonists, back with a revised plan, it’s kinda neat.

It’s also far less silly than most of the other 1970s installments. There’s a very somber, dark feel to the film, not unlike a lot of mid/late-1970s cinema in general, really. It’s kind of jarring to see Godzilla in that light, honestly. Granted, 1971’s Godzilla Vs. The Smog Monster was a pretty dark film as well, and even occasionally surreal (Smog Monster is also one of my top personal favorites), but the presence of a “Kenny” (i.e., little kid) dissipated some of that bleakness. Here, with much of the focus on a woman (the cybernetic Katsura), it lends a very different tone to the proceedings.

There’s little doubt that returning-original-director Ishiro Honda had much to do with the radical shift in that tone. There may be giant monsters leveling a city, but the plot is generally pretty serious; in some ways, this feels like an earlier Godzilla film, but with a definitively 1970s-look to it. Truth be told, it’s pretty refreshing when compared to most of the other G films of the decade. Make no mistake, Honda makes a huge difference; just compare any one of his Godzilla films to one that’s, uh, not, and you’ll see.

When I first watched this airing 19 years ago, truthfully, the movie didn’t do much for me. It’s a somewhat slow moving, character-driven piece; Godzilla really isn’t in it all that much, and while I wasn’t an 11-year-old that needed instant gratification in his ‘Zilla movies by any means, the fairly-talky nature of the film coupled with the late hour (11:30 PM start time) and 2 1/2 hour length of this broadcast, it all took a toll on my patience. Quite honestly, I was bored by it – though it was still Godzilla, so there was zero chance of my recording over it later.

But you know what? Upon this latest viewing, I found myself getting into the movie – far more than I expected to. Don’t get me wrong, this still isn’t Godzilla’s finest hour, and how many times could they go back to the “invading aliens” well? I can think of two 1970s entries that don’t use that plot device: Smog Monster and Megalon. (And even then, Hedorah was initially an extraterrestrial organism.) Godzilla clearly needed a break, but even so, the generally serious tone and character-driven story (which I can definitely appreciate now) allowed the original series to end on a higher note than I previously gave it credit for.

Here, buy your own copy and judge for yourself!

(Funny-to-me movie moment: The discovery of Titanosaurus near the beginning of the film has a group of scientists in utter disbelief over the new “dinosaur,” as if that sort of thing should be even remotely surprising after decades of monster attacks and city-levelings. Seriously, by that point, it should rank pretty low on the “disbelief meter.”)

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And that brings us to Big Chuck & Lil’ John – and even better, Big Chuck & Lil’ John during the Christmas season! In 1997, I wasn’t yet the true BC & LJ fan I’d be in just a few years, and so my tuning in to their show was, at the time, based almost entirely on the movie featured. As such, I didn’t spend as many Christmases with them as I now wish I had. Still, being able to relive seeing a new-to-me Godzilla movie for the first time on their show is pretty great all on its own.

19 years ago, I can’t believe it! It was a banner Christmas that year. As I said last post, my brother and I got a Nintendo 64; kids today probably can’t imagine how positively mind blowing Super Mario 64 was back then. To go from 16-bit to that, it was a monumental leap. Also, I’m pretty sure that was the Christmas that brought yours truly a couple new Godzilla VHS’ under the tree. Cool winnins!

Anyway, Chuck and John. This wasn’t exactly Christmas Eve, it was only December 12th, so while there’s a general smattering of holiday cheer throughout the show, it’s not an overtly Christmassy affair. As seen above, there’s the expected wreaths and the Lionel train set on the floor (more on that in a bit), and a couple of fun Christmas skits, but it’s all mixed in with the ‘normal’ Big Chuck & Lil’ John shenanigans you know and love. The result was an exponentially strong show, from both movie and a BC & LJ-material standpoints. No joke, this one is a blast.

[For those just tuning in to this blog, and there are apparently a few of you, Big Chuck & Lil’ John were, respectively, Chuck Shodowski and John Rinaldi, who hosted movies and performed comedic skits on Northeast Ohio’s TV-8 from 1979 to 2007, though the format stretches back to 1966 with Bob “Hoolihan” Wells and The Hoolihan & Big Chuck Show. And even further back to 1963 if you count the Ghoulardi years, which Chuck had a hand in, too. Anyway, the show ended in 2007, but they came back with a 30-minute, skits-only show in 2011, which is still running. Cool winnins!]

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Because it’s a Godzilla movie, the “Cuyahoga Kaiju” club makes up a part of the studio audience – pretty cool! According to Chuck, they even brought the Godzilla-related items sitting on the desk that night! (Yes, I know one of those is a Gamera; we’re all friends here, right?) The Cuyahoga Kaiju are apparently still around – or at least, they have a Facebook group. I joined the FB group, though as previously stated (well, inferred), my knowledge of post-Terror of Mechagodzilla-related Kaiju matters is woefully lacking, plus I ain’t exactly an ever-flowing font of Kaiju knowledge anyway. Thus, any kind of membership on my part is probably best left behind a keyboard, where I can think about what I’m going to say before I make an absolute fool of myself. Granted, that would probably still happen either way, but the severity would be lesser. Maybe.

Wait, where was I going with all this? Oh, the studio audience, right.

At this point, it was time for the first trivia question of the night. As I have recounted before, I almost always knew these, but since I was at home, shouting at the TV screen would yield me no sweet, sweet prizes for giving the correct answer. You had to be in the studio audience for that, man.

The prize for trivia #1 was a gift certificate for the Lakewood YMCA Christmas tree lot, which was pretty handy since it was only December 12th; still plenty of time to get a tree home and set up in the house, had you not done so already. Stop calling me a procrastinator. Anyway, the question was: What were the names of Santa’s eight original reindeer? A lady in the back row (I don’t know if she was part of the Cuyahoga Kaiju or not) gets it. This is an instance where I kinda sorta remember the names of the reindeer, but probably would have screwed up live and in-person nevertheless.

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A very funny Christmas-themed skit follows.

John has brought his wife an early Christmas gift home, and it has to be opened right then. She’s hesitant, and begins guessing what could it be. It’s something she’s always wanted, and no, don’t shake it! When it begins leaking all over her new dress, she’s horrified, and asks if it was perfume. Nope, it’s a…puppy!

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Look, I love Big Chuck & Lil’ John’s skits, but there’s no doubt some of them were built on a pretty thin premise. And speaking of thin…

In this one, three guys in what I can only guess is the washroom of a gym pass by a mirror and take the opportunity to flex their muscles. The third guy is on the skinny side of things, and when he’s not satisfied with the result of his flexing, he artificially builds up his muscle mass – with shaving cream.

And…that’s kinda it.

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Look at this sign of the times!

In what turned out to be his final album (he died in October of ’98), polka king Frankie Yankovic’s then-recent Songs of the Polka King Vol. 2 CD was pitched. Not only does it make a good stocking stuffer, but get this: Chuck & John actually sing on it! No kidding, they’re on Yankovic’s cover of My Melody of Love! (Surely you recall the Bobby Vinton hit version?) Pretty snazzy! This CD is now out of print, but not too hard to come by used.

Fun Fact: Drew Carey and Weird Al Yankovic (no relation to Frank) were on Songs of the Polka King Vol. 1!

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After that reminder, a short video of Chuck & John’s trip to BW-3 the previous Monday for a wing-eating contest and Monday Night Football is shown. There was of course a winner, trivia, and a good time had by all. And according to them, it would all be done again the next Monday.

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Another Christmas skit follows that.

Here, Chuck is working a tree lot, which promises a half-off sale. Suddenly, he gets a call from irate customer John; he didn’t expect the tree to be literally half off!

Didn’t John notice when he was loading the tree up to take home? Or am I just thinking too much about this?

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The next skit isn’t specifically Christmas-themed, but appropriate enough due to the gift-giving nature of the holiday. I like this one a lot.

John is a sidewalk salesman for “lucky charms” (no, not the cereal; actual lucky charms), and when he entices passerby Chuck to purchase one, it’s revealed that it was actually the last in stock. As John prepares to go home to get some more, a safe falls on him!

Get it???

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Perhaps the quintessential, or at least most “quintessentially idealized” (does that make any sense?) Christmas gift is a train set. In this jaded day and age, I’m not sure how popular they actually are, but when you think “Christmas toy,” there’s a good chance you’ll think of one of these.

As such, it makes sense to pitch one on show, and that night, Big Chuck & Lil’ John did just that. They were raffling off a genuine Lionel train set, with a winner to be pulled on their December 26th show.

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Immediately after that announcement came this one: If someone was still in need of a last-minute gift, they could pick up the then-new book Ghoulardi: Inside Cleveland TV’s Wildest Ride, by Tom Feran and R.D. Heldenfels. It’s interesting to look back at a time when this book was still basically “hot off the press.” In short order, it became a certified local institution. When it comes to Cleveland TV history, this is one of the books to have.

I believe I got my own copy the next Christmas, and to this day I love it. Such a fascinating, detailed look at what essentially started (sorry Mad Daddy Pete Myers) the Northeast Ohio horror hosting legacy.

The book has remained in-print since it was published. Get your copy here. If you have an interest in Ghoulardi, TV history, horror hosts, and/or Cleveland, it is a must have! Utterly vital and completely entertaining, I can’t recommend it highly enough.

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A Saturday Night Mysteries installment, a favorite recurring skit of mine.

The gist of these was that a detective (or detectives) were called in to see if someone selling something or otherwise asking for money was on the up-and-up. It would quickly be deduced that he or she was not, and the reason why would be revealed later in the show. The challenge was for the viewer to determine, from the clues given in the first part, how the detective knew it was a fraudulent scheme.

In this one, an English archaeologist claims to have uncovered ancient cave paintings, and wants a wealthy widow to finance an expedition to unearth more artifacts. Detectives Schodowski and Rinaldi (of the “Parma Detective Agency”) are called to determine if the guy is legit. After hearing his story, Detective Rinaldi quickly declares the archaeologist a phony.

How did he know? “The answer? Later in the program!”

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A funny bit in which, despite a prominent “NO HUNTING” sign, Lil’ John happily struts through a park, gun in hand and dead birds (aka, rubber chickens) slung over his shoulder. When he’s stopped by the game warden, he claims he was just out taking target practice. When the warden points out the birds over his shoulder, John freaks out, throwing them to the ground and screaming about how “gross” they are!

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Trivia time again.

For this round, winner got four passes to the then-new An American Werewolf in Paris flick. The question? Besides St. Nick, what is another name for Santa Claus? An answer of “Kris Kringle” gets it. Too easy.

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Because it’s a Japanese movie that night, the next skit is considered particularly fitting. I’m fine with that, because this is one of my top favorites. I had totally forgotten it was included in this episode too, which made its inclusion double-exciting for me.

To start the show (evidently this was an episode intro back whenever it originally aired), Chuck interviews Judo & Karate expert John. Problem is, John is very into it, and constantly goes off on Chuck, pummeling him. When he first comes out and shakes Chuck’s hand, he automatically flips him over his shoulder and then chops and kicks him!

John has written a book, “How To Karot Good,” a title I absolutely love, and attempts to demonstrate techniques from it, which only results in further pain for Chuck. Trying to roundhouse kick some wooden boards? Chuck winds up kicked in his, uh, nether region. (John’s concerned “You alright man?” while Chuck writhes on the ground is a riot.) After that, karate-chopping a wooden board? The rigged board breaks and Chuck winds up getting it in the face!

Yes, it’s a skit that relies heavily on physical humor, but John’s chopping and kicking Chuck while screaming stereotypical karate “sounds” is hilarious. And the final gag, in which John demonstrates how he’d deal with being surrounded by attackers, is terrific: In slow-motion (because it’d be too fast for the cameras otherwise), he mimes running away!

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A goof on the old Ella Fitzgerald Memorex ads, in which both Ella’s actual voice and her voice as recorded on a cassette tape shattered a glass.

Here, opera singer “Ella Carmela” sings for “Rememorex” audio tape. Her voice shatters a glass, and her recorded voice shatters…Chuck!

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The conclusion to Saturday Night Mysteries. How did Detective Rinaldi know it was all a scam? Cavemen and dinosaurs, as one of the cave paintings posited, did not exist at the same time! What did the culprit (the wonderfully named “Benny the Gooch”) use as research? The Raquel Welch movie One Million Years B.C.!

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“Kung Fu-Ski,” a take-off on the old Kung-Fu TV series. I’m not all that familiar with the series, so forgive my not really knowing which characters are being parodied here.

A traveler, played by Chuck and who I guess was supposed to be the main character from the show, travels through the desert, begging for water. He comes upon a stand, which only sells neckties; no water. The traveler continues on, and eventually comes upon a restaurant. When he goes inside and desperately asks for water, he’s turned away…for not wearing a necktie!

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A play on the old “workplace suggestion box” idea.

Here, Chuck sheepishly puts a suggestion in the box, only to have boss John pop out of it after he’s gone, get on the phone, and ask his secretary to remind him to fire that “Schodowski jerk” first thing in the morning!

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A terrific skit; this “Kielbasy Kid” entry is up there with the karate sketch as my favorite of the night. This was also my introduction to the Kielbasy Kid, and thus holds some added nostalgia for me.

Here, the Kid and his Indian sidekick “Kishka” have had their home ransacked by a mysterious thief three times now. So, to combat the robber, they set up a pot of water rigged over one door, and a string of cans attached to the other. Whichever door the thief comes in, they’ll be alerted.

One night, it works; someone has come through the can-rigged door, and the Kid and Kishka tackle him. Turns out…it’s Santa! St. Nick angrily takes the 100 pound sack of kielbasy he brought as a gift and leaves. When the Kid tries to stop him, the pot of water falls on his head, and Kishka loudly cries at the loss of all that kielbasy.

This skit is run frequently enough on Chuck & John’s current 30-minute show, but strangely, there’s a small moment edited out that was intact for this airing: After setting the traps, the Kid and Kishka are going to bed. When the Kid sees Kishka’s stuffed animal laying in it already, he throws it out, saying there isn’t enough room for three in the bed. This causes Kishka to loudly cry. I’m unsure why this short scene is (usually?) cut from current broadcasts; maybe it’s a time-issue? I don’t know, but it’s very, very funny.

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Because I was all about the movie when I recorded this back in December ’97, I didn’t tape the intro or outro to this episode, instead beginning at the very start of the movie, and stopping right after it ended. This is something that causes me to cringe now, both as a completest and as a Big Chuck & Lil’ John fan, but back then, I didn’t know any better. It was all about the ‘Zilla, man!

As such, this was the last skit of the night as far as my tape goes, airing right before the concluding segment of Terror of Mechagodzilla. This is “Fallacy island,” obviously a parody of Fantasy Island. Here, a hapless man who can’t get any attention from women comes to the island, asking to make himself irresistible to them. The result? He’s turned into a puppy!


And that was the show itself, or at least as much as I captured of it. A very strong installment from all standpoints, far more so than I gave it credit for upon my initial viewing 19 years ago today.

The last remaining facet? A few of the more notable commercials to have aired during it. You want Christmas? You’re about to get it! Not a ton though; just a few of my favorites. Honestly, there were some great, nostalgic (for me) ads here, but I’m only gonna spotlight three of them right now. Why’s that? Because these, these signify late night and/or local Christmas advertising in a nutshell.

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Commercial #1: A spot for one of the perennial Christmas gift suggestions, The Clapper. Or rather, the revised “Smart Clapper.” Everyone knows about The Clapper and the gimmick behind it; clap on, clap off, baby! You can turn anything that plugs into an electrical outlet on or off just by clapping! Just plug The Clapper in, then plug your device of choice into The Clapper, and then have at it!

So, what was different about the Smart Clapper? You could plug two devices into it, that’s what! Clap twice for one appliance, clap three times for the other. The commercial makes ample demonstration of this, too. Turn on the lights, turn on the TV, and heck, if someone tries to break in while you’re away, there’s a feature where The Smart Clapper will turn on your lights (if they’re plugged into it, that is) at the slightest sound! Neato!

The Clapper is still sold today, and every year around this time you’ll begin seeing the commercials for them with that oh-so-familiar jingle. And you know what? These things do work, and they’re pretty cool lookin,’ too. Plus, they’re handy, especially if someone has mobility problems or the like.

Bottom line: I have a Clapper. And you should too.

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Commercial #2: A spot for one of the other perennial Christmas gift suggestions, Chia Pets. Everyone knows about Chia Pets; they’re even more ubiquitous than The Clapper. Available year-round but particularly visible during this time of the year, you’d almost have to be trying to not know what a Chia Pet is.

Just in case you don’t though: Chia Pets are pieces of pottery, typically shaped like an animal or human head or what have you, with which you smear the included plant seed concoction all over them. Then, with enough watering and sunlight and whatnot, plants will actually grow on the pottery, giving an animal fur, a head hair, and so on and so forth. You gotta pay some attention to ’em, but these do work and they look pretty neat, too.

For this commercial, the number of different Chia Pets and Chia Heads are spotlighted. The Chia Heads in particular are given prominent screentime, including a Chia Professor and Chia Clown. BUT, what really makes this spot is the brief but very cool set-up: an archaeologist has discovered ancient pottery, that just happens to be Chias, and by the end of the ad, he’s wound up with a treasure chest full of ’em. It’s a surprisingly involved production, with the archaeological scenes interspersed with the ‘normal’ Chia shots. Quite honestly, it’s the coolest Chia Pet commercial I’ve ever seen.

Bottom line: There’s an old Chia Head floating around my basement somewhere, but now I want a new one. And you should too.

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And finally, commercial #3: This one is less of an obvious choice than the previous two, mainly because it’s for Sun Super Savings Centers, a chain of electronics and appliance stores that I’m not sure exist anymore. Nowhere near me, at any rate.

The premise for the ad is simple: Sun has the big time Christmas season savings, especially on a mega-cheap Microwave (above right; $67?! Bargain buck bill!). Included are the perquisite shots of a family opening their gifts around the Christmas tree on, ostensibly all from Sun, and ostensibly all on Christmas morning. It’s a pretty typical Christmas-themed electronic and appliance store ad, really.

So why include it here? Two reasons. 1) Look at the kid on the left above; he’s just opened a Nintendo 64 controller! As I mentioned earlier, my brother and I got our Nintendo 64 that very Christmas of 1997, so that alone is enough to make me spotlight this Sun ad here; a kindred spirit! And 2) I bought my first brand new video game console with my own money from Sun; a Sega Genesis, in the mid-1990s. That alone is enough to make me spotlight this Sun ad here. So, fond memories and all that.

Bottom line: I loved the Nintendo 64 and really loved the Sega Genesis. And you should too.


And with that, our big giant look at Big Chuck & Lil’ John’s presentation of Terror of Mechagodzilla draws to a close.

You know, it wasn’t until I pulled out the tape that held Son of Ghoul’s The Hoodlum for last week’s post that I realized, boy, Big Chuck & Lil’ John hosting Terror of Mechagodzilla during the Christmas season would make a fine, fine follow-up article. Like I said during my intro, these were taped back-to-back, and between the two, I don’t think I could find a better, more powerful trip back to the Christmas season of 1997 in my video collection. Some scattered individual recordings, perhaps, but what we’ve seen over these past two weeks is not only an indelible slice of Northeast Ohio television in the late-1990s, but also a peak at my 11-year-old mindset, which, TV-wise, isn’t all that different from my modern day mindset, truth be told.

For this update as well as the last, I was originally recording because I wanted to capture and relive this weekend entertainment over and over. What I wasn’t aware of then was that I was also capturing a significant part of my life – as reflected by my television viewing habits, anyway. Over the years, as my knowledge of Northeast Ohio television history increased and I became more appreciative of what I grew up watching, it was stuff like this that I became more and more grateful for both taping and keeping. For example, Son of Ghoul last week, that was a winner from the start. But the broadcast we’ve looked at today, as I said earlier, it was initially all about the movie featured. It wasn’t until I really started to “get” Big Chuck & Lil’ John that I realized Man I’m glad I held onto that!” Needless to say, that holds doubly-true today.

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One final note…

I’m a busy cat, and since there’s a good chance this will be my last post of 2016, here’s a Christmas-appropriate image from earlier in the show we just finished looking at. Chuck’s holding a wreath, dig? Christmas. Also, I want that Gamera toy on the table somethin’ hardcore.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more I think I will leave this as my official Christmas post; it’s not like I can really top Christmas-themed Big Chuck & Lil’ John and ‘Zilla, anyway. Who could? So, with that said, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. Be safe, be well, and be kind to one another.

See you in 2017!

Ghoulardifest 2016!

“Hey, why’d it take so long to post this, North Video Guy?!”

I know, I know, this is a belated update. For the fourth year in a row, it’s time to cover my trip to the annual Ghoulardifest convention on this silly blog. BUT, I didn’t want to just do the same exact thing I’d done for the previous three re-caps again. Soooo, I took video there. Oh how I took video. A first for this site!

Now theoretically, videos should have made getting this post up quickly even easier, which would totally be in line with my usual M.O. of posting these reviews within a day or two, or at least the week of, my visit. So, why did it take so long this time? Simply put, I had audio issues with several of the videos – to the point where I couldn’t even use them. Don’t get me wrong, I could have posted them here, but I like to give the impression of having some semblance of professionalism (HA!), and thus, I just wasn’t comfortable with doing that. Heck, even the videos I can use aren’t always perfect, audio-wise.

You have no idea how incredibly disheartened I was by this. Seriously, more than once I came this close to just scrapping the whole re-cap this year; I just couldn’t work up the energy to write after this development. I felt (and feel) that I was letting the people down that were kind enough to take the time to film with me – but then, the same feeling applied to putting up a substandard video, too. So, since I can still use screencaps (where needed), I will cautiously proceed. Just several weeks late. (It didn’t help matters that I’ve also been fairly busy these past few weeks.)

All that said, if you were someone I filmed with whose segment is absent here, please accept my apologies; fate dealt us both a crushing blow!

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Sunday, October 30, 2016: I woke up tired. I mean, your pal me was draggin’. Y’see, I awoke to a chilly, cloudy, rainy day, and while I love a good overcast weekend, in this case I knew such things would never do. Add in not enough sleep, and a bedside clock that had reset due to a brief power outage during the preceding night, and, well, it wasn’t an auspicious start to my day.

Why the grogginess? Because the day before was bright, beautiful, and fairly warm for this time of year. In short, it was gorgeous. But, unfortunately, when the weather changes, especially when it changes rapidly, I have a habit of getting the grogs. In those instances, I rarely feel like doing much of anything. And yet, this particular Sunday, I would accept no groggin’. Well, I mean, it was there, but I did the best I could to ignore it.

That’s because it was time for Ghoulardifest! Yep, Big Chuck & Lil’ John’s annual convention celebrating the Cleveland icon was once again upon us, and like every year since 2011, I was there for the Sunday edition. I look forward to this year-round, but especially when fall hits Northeast Ohio; the season just wouldn’t feel right without the ‘Fest!

Like the previous three years, the convention was held at the plush LaVilla Conference & Banquet Center. My photo above makes it look inappropriately foreboding; overcast day and all. Trust me, the LaVilla is beautiful.

Since the inception of this blog, I’ve covered my annual trip to the show. For those so inclined, you can check out my coverage of the 2013, 2014 and 2015 shows here. You can watch my writing skills gradually increase! Or, read ’em backwards and watch my writing skills decrease! It’s fun for the whole family!

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There are some downsides to only going on the third (and last) day of the convention. Jan Jones, Tim Taylor and Robin Swoboda, local legends all, were in attendance – on Saturday. Also, I missed my buddy Mike Olszewski, which hurts me deep. Furthermore, the Cavs Championship trophy was supposed to be on display all three days, but if it was there Sunday, I sure didn’t see it.

(Fun fact: I played basketball, poorly, in the fourth grade, and I later went to high school with LeBron; my first two years were his last two years. So, do enough mental gymnastics and you can pretty much thank me for the Cavs winning it all! You’re welcome, Cleveland! I will now sit back and anxiously await your accolades!)

‘Course, that’s not to say there’s nothing going on by the last two day; there’s cool merch and celebrities as far as the eye can see no matter what day you attend. As expected, my brother (who always comes with) and I had a terrific time – and yes, I’m already jonesing for next year. If my merchandise haul was substantially less than previous visits (and it was), it was only because I’d bought most of the stuff that strikes my fancy already. And yet, I left satisfied nevertheless; Ghoulardifest, no matter what you buy, who you meet or what you do, is always an experience, and this year was no exception.

Above: The ever-terrific shirts table, which lines a good portion of the left side of the main room. One of my top favorite buys this year came from these tables; we’ll see that momentarily.

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Like other similarly-themed conventions, there’s memorabilia everywhere you look. Toys, games, records, CDs, DVDs, movie posters, glassware, you name it, there’s a good chance it’s there.

Indeed, as I’ve mentioned in previous re-caps, Ghoulardi is really just one facet of Ghoulardifest; obviously Ernie Anderson’s legendary horror host and Big Chuck & Lil’ John are the main draws, but Ghoulardifest is also a celebration of horror and sci-fi in general, horror hosts as a whole, music (particularly 1960s music; The Beatles and such), and other areas of pop culture. Even if someone wasn’t enamored by the main draws (yeah, right), there’s still plenty to take in at Ghoulardifest.

Above: My attempt to show off the various wares in one all-encompassing shot. I wasn’t at all successful, but you can see the kind of cool stuff available there. I’m diggin’ that Addams Family 45!

That’s my brother photo-bombin’ to the far left. Thaaaaaaanks Luke.

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Aww, Son of Ghoul, you wacky guy! It continuously blows my mind that the guy I grew up watching now kinda sorta knows me – thanks in no small part to all the crap I’ve sent to his show over the years. Plus the interview. Plus Monsterfestmania. So, is it too early to go around proclaiming him my best friend in the whole wide world? That might be a bit premature, but I am considering it….

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I’ve mentioned this before, but one thing that endlessly impresses me about our local celebrities is just how fan-friendly they all are. These people not only give their fans the time of day, but also truly go the extra mile for them. Son of Ghoul, absolutely, as well as Big Chuck & Lil’ John, who you are helpfully seeing above.

Case in point: They (naturally) have helpers, but these guys all sell their own wares themselves, and they all are very free and giving with their time, answering all questions, taking pictures, and so on. Northeast Ohioans are fortunate to call people like this their own.

Much to my chagrin, Chuck & John had sold out of their new “Top 20 Skits” DVD that very morning, which was a fan-voted project. (Yes, I contributed my picks.) I was really looking forward to picking up this DVD, but I knew it was going to be a hot-ticket item, so what can you do? I thought about throwing a tantrum, until I remembered that Big Chuck & Lil’ John are two of my heroes and that probably wouldn’t look too good to them.

Speaking of Big Chuck & Lil’ John…

I totally filmed a quick, mostly off-the-cuff bit with them! This, needless to say, ranks up there with the proudest achievements of my life.

Backstory: The video doesn’t lie; Big Chuck has endorsed the Empire Window Company for quite awhile. The commercial for them in which his Stash character falls from a ladder is positively ingrained in my memory, and that ad goes back to at least 1991 – and it certainly aired for a long time afterwards. So, when print ads featuring Chuck began showing up in the mail a few years ago, I really did begin cutting them out and saving them. It started out as just a funny thing to progressively hang more and more of on the fridge, but after awhile, the action became something that felt more like a duty. Result? I have a ton of these, far more than what’s seen in the video.

Eventually, the joke arose between my brother and I that it would be funny if I brought them all up to Chuck and asked him for a free window in exchange, though of course these ads aren’t coupons, and no such offer actually exists anyway. And thus, the genesis of this bit was born. I naturally briefly explained to Big Chuck & Lil’ John what I wanted to film beforehand, but it was more of an outline than anything, and truth be told, I only expected a quick, few-second video – which would have been more than enough for me. But MAN, these guys are total pros; they just completely took the idea and ran with it, and absolutely brilliantly at that!

Because the last thing I ever want to do is step on anybody’s toes for any reason, prior to posting I did indeed contact the Empire Window Company to make sure everything would be fine with them regarding this bit. They simply couldn’t have been any nicer; no kidding, they were just wonderful. The Empire Window Company gets my legitimate, heartiest recommendation. If you need windows, siding, doors, or what have you, head to the official Empire Window Company website!

Some of the dreaded audio issues I mentioned at the start of this post reared their head here. Not so much in the Chuck & John portion, but rather, I wasn’t quite happy with my intro on the video. I had to take whatever measures I could, and therefore, you’ll notice (especially since I outright say so) that I dubbed over the audio in the first half of the video above. It was necessary, and while a bit glaring, I don’t think it hurts the final product; indeed, nearly a month later, and this bit still cracks me up! Some way, somehow, this happened!

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Unfortunately, no amount of dubbing could save my bit with Son of Ghoul, and thus, you only get this screencap. This hurts me deep.

The premise was that SOG knows me, we’re pals, we’re tight like Gs, and therefore when I go up to him, it’s like two old friends meeting. Of course, the punchline is that SOG has no idea who I am, he stares at me blankly, and then calls for security to throw me out. It’s the funniest thing in the world, and I can’t use a second of it.

It should be mentioned that these audio issues weren’t really a fault on the part of me or my brother, who was filming. Maybe I could (and should) have spoken up a bit here and there, but the main thing was that it was just loud in there. This was not a fault of the venue or anyone else, but between the live music and the crowd, well, it all tended to drown out the microphone of my brother’s cellphone. But, it is what it is.

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Same deal when I semi-interviewed Jungle Bob Tuma. (His official website) Like Son of Ghoul, JB knows me, we’re buddies, and it really, really pains me that I can’t use this video. We even stepped out into the hallway for this, and yet, you can still hear the music inside more than us. Again, it’s not anybody’s fault, it’s just how things worked out. Had this been in a more-controlled environment, the results would have been different, but when you’re filming things on the fly, well, you take your chances.

This was less of a skit and more of a chat; JB explained why he didn’t bring any animals on this last day of the show; it being the final day, and there being celebrations afterwards, it just wasn’t a good idea to bring them, especially if they’d need to be left in the car after the show. (I made a crack about winding up with a deep fried tarantula if the animals were brought into the restaurant that was practically Letterman-worthy… or not.)

You know what’s awesome about Jungle Bob? If you watch him on The Son of Ghoul Show or catch one of his appearances, he’s just as engaging in-person as he is during his performances. The man is a born entertainer, and besides being wildly informative about animals, he tells absolutely great stories. Jungle Bob is the man.

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I loved doing this one, so of course I can’t use the video. Do I sound like a broken record much? I don’t like it either, bucko.

I was excited, and more than a little nervous, to film this. Why? Because even if this was my first time filming at a convention, I at least have some in-person experience with pretty much everyone involved. BUT, as far as The Mummy & The Monkey go, I first met them at last year’s Ghoulardifest. They were absolutely wonderful, of course, but still, I was nervous about asking them to film. Also, don’t forget, I was draggin’ and not exactly on my A-Game that day. (And my A-Game is probably like most people’s C-Game, anyway.)

I needn’t have worried. Janet “The Mummy” Jay and James “The Monkey” Harmon were terrific. Some funny wordplay (I kept trying to remember which is The Mummy and which is The Monkey) led to the natural progression of where the people can see them. It wasn’t a particularly long video, but we covered a lot of ground, and to me, it was all marvelously entertaining.

But, the best part about talking with them wasn’t even captured on film; afterwards, we had a discussion about old tapes and cool winnins and so on. It was a gratifying (and almost-totally-new-to-me) feeling to actually talk with people that understood the same things I do. Also, it’s funny that I didn’t even really comprehend I was talking Betamax with a guy in a gorilla mask; it must have been wildly surreal to anyone overhearing our conversation. Or not, I don’t know.

Hey, another real, actual video! It’s about time!

My buddies from Monsterfestmania, Mike Mace and Dave Binkley, were on hand to promote their show, The Weirdness Really Bad Movie. Even though I had met them in-person just a few months prior, this really was like an old-friends-catching-up sorta thing. It was great. Let the video above tell the rest of the story!

Fun fact: Mike himself was on American Pickers just this past week! Cool winnins!

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This was certainly the wildest video I took. The screencap just doesn’t do it justice.

What started out as a chat with Bill “Greatest Voice Ever” Ward (he was the WJW TV-8 announcer for years) quickly devolved into just a general screwing around when Teri Wells, daughter of Bob “Hoolihan” Wells popped in. It was an absolute riot, climaxing in Ward’s dead-on Clint Eastwood impression. And Teri was just the nicest.

Unfortunately, this more than any other video was hurt, audio-wise. Due to the activity around us, large chunks of it are incomprehensible, and to make matters worse, poor Teri had laryngitis. It’s a real shame, because it was fast, funny and freewheeling.

That said, if you ever have the chance to speak with Teri Wells or Bill Ward, do so, because man they are just great.

A quick bit with Bob “Hoolihan” Wells!

Unlike previous years, we wound up staying at Ghoulardifest until pretty much the very end. There was much to see and do, not to mention filming videos, that it took a whole lot more time than I was anticipating. Still, I was able to catch up with Hoolie just as he was getting ready to go on stage for the show-closing group photo. It’s a brief video, but it’s awesome. Why? Cause Hoolihan.

Backstory: During the old “Soulman” skits from The Hoolihan & Big Show, Wells was always the narrator, and oftentimes he’d let out a great, dismayed “Ohhhhh Noooooo!!!” that I endlessly love. Thus, I asked him to give me one such “Ohhhhh Noooooo!!!” there in person, but because we were in such a hurry, I forgot to reference what I was talking about! You can see my kinda-goof in the video above.

Even though he doesn’t live in Northeast Ohio anymore, just like everyone else involved in this sort of thing, Bob Wells is always the nicest, most generous guy you could hope to meet. He’s good people!

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Because we were there to pretty much the very end, we were able to witness the convention-closing group photo; a wonderful moment. I fought the urge to go onstage and join them, though the confused looks of all involved would have almost made up for the undoubted subsequent escort to the parking lot by security… almost.

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And yes, we did indeed stop by the nearby Big Boy for the annual post-Ghoulardifest meal. Super Big Boy, you are a burger among burgers. And the fries! I’m not a big fry-eater, but Big Boy’s are always fantastic! Also, our waiter was phenomenal and got a well-deserved monster tip.

Look at that pic above. Big Boy has no qualms with the oncoming rain. Dude’s been around forever; you think a little water is gonna phase him? Nope!

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Like I said before, my merchandise haul was substantially less that previous years. That doesn’t mean I didn’t pick up some cool winnins though, cause I did.

Above: Another Son of Ghoul DVD to add to the collection (The Death Kiss), a Ghoulardi bumper sticker (at a buck a pop, I bought a few), and a Big Chuck & Lil’ John mug I’m this sure I don’t already own. Not that you can ever have too many, of course.

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But this, this was the big buy of the year: A Ghoulardi shirt celebrating the Cleveland Cavaliers’ monumental win in the NBA Finals! I’m a huge Cavs fan, so I flipped when I saw this! Forget buying just one; I bought two! One of the faces of Cleveland, pitching the historic win that was a true victory for all of Northeast Ohio? It does not get any cooler than that! I like wearing sports shirts, and I like wearing Ghoulardi shirts, so this was directly up my alley! I love it.

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And with that, the Ghoulardifest 2016 re-cap comes to a close. Was it worth the wait? I think so! Well, I hope so. I’m ready for Ghoulardifest 2017, either way!

Until next year, LaVilla! (Hopefully, the weather will be more fitting for the event!)

WJW TV-8’s The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show – 1982’s “First Blood” (May 11, 2001)

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Nostalgia time!

I recorded this one myself, way back on May 11, 2001. 15 years?! I refuse to believe it’s been that long!

Speaking of 15 years, that’s exactly how old I was at the time (wow, I think I just gave myself record-setting depression!). During that period, I was still the avid video taper and movie/TV fan that I had been for the several years preceding, but as I got a bit older, I found myself steadily branching out from the genres that had traditionally been ‘mine.’

That is, the classic horror and sci-fi films, b-westerns, silents, and so on. (A lot of the stuff we’ve seen here at the blog, basically.) Oh I still liked all those, but my tastes were evolving to include newer, relatively more extreme horror and sci-fi, and even action films. The taste for horror and sci-fi beyond the 1960s or so would eventually recede, but the love of action flicks (especially those from the 1980s and early-1990s) remains.

Which brings us to the subject for today. Yes, Northeast Ohio movie-hostin’ heroes Big Chuck & Lil’ John once ran the 1982 Sylvester Stallone action classic First Blood, and yes, it was fantastic. “Wait, ain’t they horror hosts though, B?” Well, yes, Chuck & John (and before John, Hoolihan) made their name on film offerings more befitting the horror host genre (though not necessarily always). By the time this episode aired, the film selections had turned into a more all-around assortment. I’ll explain more about that situation in a bit.

Frankly, it didn’t (and doesn’t) really matter to me whether the movie used that night in May 2001 fit in with what the show was supposed to feature or not; this was a viewing, and recording, born out of my fairly new love of action flicks and a joy in discovering them for myself on late night TV. Discovering Rambo? In 2001? I’ll explain more about that situation in a bit, too.

I certainly didn’t realize it at the time, or even in the years immediately proceeding it, but of the hundreds and hundreds of movies I personally recorded from, roughly, 1996-2002, this has turned out to be one of my favorites. Aside from some intense nostalgia on my part, it’s not linked to any actually important aspect of my life, nor is it a particularly historical broadcast in and of itself. Nope, I just really, really like this one as a whole. Does it take me right back to Friday nights in Spring 2001? You better believe it does!

(Also, that header pic above? That was the bumper for the episode, an image that now currently resides as the background on my phone. A superfluous-but-rare honor!)

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A general widening of my film tastes wasn’t the only thing going on with me, TV-wise, at the time, either; it was also around that point that I truly began to enjoy and appreciate Big Chuck & Lil’ John as a whole, rather than just a showcase for certain movies I wanted to see/tape. That may be anathema to admit, and I certainly don’t like admitting it, but the sad fact of the matter is it took me a few years to really ‘get’ these guys.

Now, that may be a surprising statement to some; after all, Chuck & John have had no small influence on this blog, and indeed, I’m a self-professed mega-fan. Besides the annual Ghoulardifest posts, I’ve written about them numerous times. But back in 2001, even though I had watched (and taped!) their show(s) prior, it wasn’t until, roughly, the 1999-2001 time frame that I truly became a fan. Prior to that, it was all about the movie with me, as evidenced by the fact that I usually cut the intros and outros off when recording, opting instead for just the movie (whatever bits showed up during commercial breaks were of course left in, and in retrospect I’m glad they’re still there, but back then, they were merely an extra-addition to the film in my eyes). This was all in stark contrast to The Ghoul Show and The Son of Ghoul Show, which were kept in their entirety, as I saw them as “complete shows,” and not just mere movie showcases.

That eventually all changed however, due to a few factors. Once I began watching, really watching, Chuck & John, I began to appreciate their comedic bits and host segments (my learning more about the history of the show, and Chuck’s involvement in Northeast Ohio TV in general, was also a factor). Plus, WBNX TV-55 moving The Ghoul Show from Friday nights to Sunday nights didn’t hurt, either. Their normal Friday night program was thus easier for me to catch, and that, in addition to watching more of their Saturday afternoon Couch Potato Theater show, really helped get me on board the BC & LJ train. I still didn’t tape Chuck & John as much as I did those other shows, but at least I “got it.” After ’98 or so, I began, as a rule, recording their entire broadcasts, from start to finish.

(For those unawares, and I have picked up some new readers/followers lately, especially after my trendsetting performance at Monsterfestmania, that’s “Lil’ John” Rinaldi on the left, “Big Chuck” Schodowski on the right. Read more about ’em here if necessary, or just keep going with this post; you’ll probably get the gist of all this in short order.)

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So, First Blood on the show. Why play such an obvious non-horror or sci-fi film, when Chuck & John are widely considered legit horror hosts?

They did (but not always) run ‘regular’ flicks in the years before, but by the mid-1990s, the film selections became much more ‘standardized.’ That is, all genres were represented. Sure, there could be a typical horror or sci-fi oldie (I taped more than one Toho opus off the program during the period), but there were also comedies, dramas, westerns, and as we’re seeing today, action films.

Some fans tend to decry the usage of ‘general’ films during this later era of The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show. I understand that sentiment, but even when ignoring the changing television landscape of the time, I’d argue that since Chuck & John didn’t dress or act “spooky,” and their comedy was broader and generally not tied to a horror theme, the overall product still came out successful. Granted, I’m coming from a different place than others, but nevertheless, horror/sci-fi or not, the ‘new’ show certainly introduced me to films I might not have seen otherwise.

First Blood I probably would have wound up catching sooner or later anyway, but this broadcast hit me at just the right time. Due to my burgeoning interest in the genre, I often stayed up late on weekends and caught new-to-me action movies on local channels. One Man’s Justice and Army of One were introduced to me that way. Even beyond TV airings, I was picking up used VHS tapes at a local indie video store (the Missing in Action films became personal favorites). And yet, before catching this airing of First Blood on Big Chuck & Lil’ John, Rambo was uncharted territory to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew who Rambo was, or at least had a vague idea of the character. And I had caught bits and pieces of the films earlier in the decade (on cable TV, when movies like this seemed to always be on). But up until May 2001, I had never actually seen an entry in the series.

Truth be told, it took me a bit to get into it. My vague knowledge of Rambo was that of a mercenary, a legit one-man-army, going into a foreign country, rescuing hostages of some sort, and blowing away a lot of bad guys. First Blood isn’t quite that, and at the start of this initial viewing, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it at first.

But sure enough, I was soon absolutely drawn into the film, just completely and totally enthralled by it. I wound up loving the movie, and from that point on, I was a Rambo fan. I remember the morning after this aired, we were at some gymnastics thing for my little cousin, and all I could think of was getting the trilogy (there was a swanky widescreen VHS boxset out then). I wanted to see more of these, man!

Eventually, of course, I did. Indeed, not too long after this aired, I went and bought a ‘legit’ VHS copy of the film from the aforementioned indie video store. In the years since, I’ve obtained First Blood in a variety of formats and releases, but truth be told, none mean as much to me as this personal recording I made back in the Spring of ’01 does.

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I find it hard to believe that anyone stumbling upon this post hasn’t seen First Blood. The first entry in the Rambo series, and (as far as I’m concerned) legitimate action classic? C’mon! I mean, having not seen it by the time I was 15, there’s not much excuse there, but there’s even less now; the movie-viewing world was a bit different 15 years ago, but there are countless ways to catch this one nowadays.

I’m not gonna go too in-depth here, because if you haven’t seen it yet, go see it! Anyway, First Blood details the plight of John Rambo, a Vietnam Vet who runs into trouble with the police of a small town and must fend for himself. The End!

…Well, I guess I can go a bit more in-depth than that. Here’s the set-up: as the film opens, Rambo is seen visiting the home of one of his old army buddies and learning that he has passed away. This leaves Rambo as the last surviving member of his Special Forces Unit from ‘Nam. Already suffering with the memories of the war, this news puts him into an emotional tailspin, and he winds up a drifter.

Eventually, he finds him self in Hope, Washington. Almost immediately, he’s hassled by Sheriff Will Teasle (it’s Brian Dennehy!), who concludes that, based on his looks, Rambo isn’t the kind of element the people need in their nice, quite little town. Although he puts on a (somewhat) friendly facade, he drives Rambo outside of the city and tells him to find somewhere else to go. Rambo, being the the definitive badass, of course turns around and heads right back in. When Teasle sees this, he arrests ‘Bo for vagrancy. (The big giant knife Rambo carries around doesn’t help, either.)

Teasle’s a jerk, but his fellow officers, Deputy Art Galt in particular, are worse. When they try to book Rambo in at the police station, and it becomes increasingly obvious that Rambo is emotionally disturbed, they begin abusing him. Beating him, spraying him with a fire hose in the shower, and the final straw, attempting to shave him with a straight-razor. Y’see, Rambo wasn’t just in ‘Nam, he was a POW, and the abuse triggers flashbacks of his imprisonment there. On top of everything else he’s had to deal with since then, this is just too much, and in short order he busts out of the station and escapes into the woods.

(Note: Michael “Stan Switek” Talbott and David “CSI: Miami Guy” Caruso play young police officers in the flick, too.)

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Naturally, Teasle is none too pleased with this development, and of course a search party is formed to recover the prisoner. Being an expert in such situations, Rambo is able to elude them, though eventually Galt shows up in a helicopter and gets him in his sights. Despite Teasle’s order that Rambo be taken alive, Galt begins firing at him. Not having much other recourse, Rambo wings a rock at the chopper, which cracks the windshield and surprises the pilot, who then jerks the chopper – causing Galt to fall his to death. Suddenly, this isn’t just a manhunt anymore; this has become personal to Teasle.

From there on out, it is on. But they drew first blood (get it?), and it’s up to Rambo to fend for himself. Well, he’s not quite alone; Colonel Sam Trautman (Richard Crenna!), hearing reports of what’s going on, shows up in town, and essentially keeps telling Teasle there’s no chance of the cops getting Rambo. Trautman oughta know, too; he was Rambo’s commanding officer in ‘Nam (“God didn’t make Rambo; *I* made him!”) and fully understands what Rambo is capable of. Of course Teasle doesn’t listen. Massive amounts of destruction and general badassery ensues.

As I recall it, much of my initial apprehension upon viewing this film had little to do with the movie itself, and more to do with the fact that it didn’t quite fit my preconceived notions of what a Rambo flick was supposed to be. That is, a one-man-army heading into a foreign country and basically taking the whole place out for one reason or another. That was the prevailing image I had of Rambo, anyway. What I didn’t know was that that viewpoint was more in line with the sequels; this first installment was a bit of a different animal.

Except when it wasn’t. After all, First Blood still has Rambo pretty much by himself and fending off and/or evading large numbers of people after him. He is a one-man-army here, and he does do the things that I expected him to do. It’s just that in First Blood, this is all in a more domestic setting, and that’s what threw me at first. A large portion of the film is set in the woods outside of fictional Hope, Washington, which was in opposition to my initial thoughts of “Shouldn’t this be set in a jungle somewhere?” The more I watched the film, the more I realized that, no, it wasn’t quite what I was expecting, but what I got was just as, if not more, fantastic. Like I said before, by the time it had ended, I was a bonafide fan.

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The entire movie is terrific, and the final portion of the film, in which Rambo makes his way back to the city and just totally tears things up, is particularly so. He blows up a gas station! He knocks out the power! He gets himself a big ol’ gun! All in an effort to draw Teasle out for a final confrontation…

…A confrontation that results in the most powerful moment of the entire film: just as Rambo is about to finish off Teasle once and for all, Trautman stops him, and what follows is a heavily dramatic monologue by Stallone. In it, his Rambo laments his status in the US following the war, how he’s been treated, his usefulness to society, and how the horrors of the war still haunt him. It’s a fantastic, moving monologue, the most emotional moment of the movie.

The monologue also brings out to the open a dramatic undercurrent that runs through the rest of the film: the plight of the Vietnam Veteran in the years following the war. As such, First Blood manages to include a somber, social commentary on Vets that the sequels increasingly ignored. Regardless of what anyone thinks about war, the way our Veterans are often treated is a sore spot with me, which means that, personally, this dramatic monologue really hits home.

First Blood is action-packed, make no mistake. There are chases, fights, explosions, gunfire, near misses and escapes. It’s at certain points unflinchingly brutal, especially near the beginning when Rambo is in police custody. The movie earns the R-rating given to it. But paradoxically, and contrary to popular opinion (myself at 15 included), it’s not actually that violent. Not as far as deaths are concerned, anyway. Indeed, only one person is actually killed throughout the entire film: Galt, and that was both an accident on Rambo’s part and due to Galt himself being a dumbass. (I mean, yes, Rambo tossed a rock at the chopper, but Galt was hanging out of the side without a harness of any kind!) Everyone else, Rambo stops but doesn’t kill. The high-body counts generally associated with Rambo films? Those fit the sequels, but not First Blood.

As such, the version seen on Big Chuck & Lil’ John that night in May 2001, sure there was some editing for content, and time, and naturally some salty language was censored, but unlike a lot of R-rated films that wound up on local TV, First Blood didn’t suffer too badly. Indeed, as long as you didn’t mind Chuck & John occasionally interrupting the proceedings with their silliness, this was actually a pretty good example of First Blood.

And speaking of Big Chuck & Lil’ John, it’s time for their portion of the show. This won’t be everything they did that night, but here are some of the personal highlights…

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The show as a whole kicks off with this introductory skit, in lieu of an opening sequence or any similar such fanfare. In it, Bill Ward (I’ve met him before!) plays the Cleveland Indians’ new pitcher Billy Bob, who just rolled in from North Carolina. He apparently loves Cleveland and especially The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show, which he proclaims to be wholesome, clean, family entertainment – all while progressively throwing more chewing tobacco in his mouth and letting the juice run down his chin when he spits! Gross? Maybe. Is there much to the bit? Not really. Is it funny? Yep!

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That leads directly into the first host segment of the night, which, needless to say, introduced the movie, mentioned some of the things Chuck & John had planned for the evening (the US mail carriers were there for the episode; we’ll see them in a bit), and so on. Not a particularly long intro, but there was no need for it to be; this got the night kicked off proper, and frankly, just having Chuck & John intro the movie was enough. Even though they’re back on the air nowadays (as a 30 minute, skits-only program), there was something really special about them actually hosting a film. It’s a sight for sore eyes, absolutely.

For any non-Northeast Ohioans reading this, you may wonder how a couple of hosts presenting silly skits between commercial-breaks of First Blood can really work as entertainment. It doesn’t, on paper, sound like it would ‘fit.’ To be honest with you, I don’t know why it works either, just that it does. Maybe you have to be a Northeast Ohioan of a certain age to appreciate this sort of thing. Maybe it’s a format that couldn’t really work (with the vast majority of viewers) today. Perhaps that 30 minute skits-only show is the best we can hope for in this day and age, where genuine local TV is at a minimum.

All I know is that, more than once, I was introduced to movies in this “format” that, for all intents and purposes, worked. This is how I first saw Theatre of Blood, this is how I first saw Miracle Mile, and obviously, this is how I first saw First Blood.

I hope Big Chuck & Lil’ John never go away.

(Also, isn’t that screencap above just awesome? I couldn’t not post it. ‘Course, this probably means it’ll be stolen and passed around the internet without mentioning where it originally came from, because why would anyone give me credit for anything ever?)

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Next up, another installment in the long-running series of “Certain Ethnic” skits. “Certain Ethnic” was a euphemism for “Polish,” a running joke that reached back to the Ghoulardi days. Chuck himself is Polish, and the mocking was always done affectionately, but still, people complained, and so “Polish” became “Certain Ethnic.”

In this one, it’s the “Certain Ethnic Jaccuzzi [sic].” After a long day of work, Chuck’s famous Stash character just wants to relax, and a nice jacuzzi is the way to unwind. For this scenario, this is accomplished by running the garden hose through the window and into the tub!

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Trivia time!

There were usually at least two trivia contests held per show. Another one of the benefits of having a live studio audience, I guess. Even then, I was all about vintage television and movies, and more often than not, I knew the answers. Much to my chagrin, I was never able to attend a studio taping to show off my trivial (and I do mean trivial) prowess. This hurts me deep.

There were three trivia segments for this episode. For this first one, the prize was a 4-pack of tickets to the Mansfield Motorsports Speedway. The question? What television series was Richard Crenna a part of loooong before he became known as Rambo’s Colonel Trautman? Why, The Real McCoys, of course! I knew that!!! I win/lose again!

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Ah, Ben Crazy. Did anyone not like the Ben Crazy skits? That would hurt me deep, too.

This one features Cleveland/television legend Tim Conway himself, as Dr. Crazy’s patient. The skit mostly works as a vehicle for Conway’s deadpan, jokey delivery (he was in the office earlier because he got his Ben-Gay and Preparation H mixed up – his shoulder was starting to shrink!). The punchline: he misunderstood what Dr. Crazy meant when he said he wanted a stool sample! (Above, duh.)

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More trivia.

This time, the prize was the then-new book 365 Ways to Meet People in Cleveland, by Miriam Carey (looks like it’s out of print now). The question: what was Rambo’s first name? Aw c’mon! That’s so easy it’s not even fair! Had fate smiled upon me, I could be sitting here admiring my little book right this instant.

(By the way, the answer was “John.” John Rambo. Geez, even if someone somehow didn’t know that, they could have just taken a wild guess; there’s like a 95% chance they would have said “John” anyway.)

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Saturday, May 12th (the next day, for those keeping track at home) was “Help Stamp Out Hunger Day,” courtesy of the US Postal Service. I remember those food drives; basically, you would place a bag of non-perishable food by your mail box on the appropriate day, and the mailperson would collect it to help replenish local food banks. So, the night before the event, the appropriate people went on The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show to explain all this. See how that works?

A joke is made in which Lil’ John apparently left a half-plate of uneaten spaghetti and meatballs by the mailbox the year before (it’s gotta be non-perishable, folks!), and both Chuck and John are presented with commemorative plaques as a thank you for all their help with the drive over the years. A nice moment.

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Ajax Airlines!

The Ajax skits went waaaay back on the show. They were basically just miming bits from old Hudson & Landry records, but man, they were always a riot. This was a newer installment in the series (on the show I mean, not the records themselves), in which a very drunk person (Art Lofredo) calls the airline to find out when the next plane leaves. It’s a very funny bit, though the pay-off is a bit dated: they’ve got to hold the plane, because Art is the pilot!

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Last trivia question of the night.

The prize was a “Zube Tube,” which made lots of weird electronic-like noises and gave your voice a cool booming quality when you spoke into it. I want to say my brother and/or I had something like this, but I don’t know. It’s a neat product though, and it’s basically given away. The question relates to Rambo’s status as a Green Beret and the John Wayne movie that dealt with the same subject. The answer: The Green Berets.

‘Course, it would’ve been a hard one to miss, since the words “Green Berets” are said about a thousand times leading up to the answer. I’m pretty sure my recording is just retroactively mocking me now.

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A simple-but-great skit. When John and his wife (Mary Allen!) are denied admittance to a restaurant because John isn’t wearing a necktie, he leaves and later comes back wearing nothing but a necktie (one large enough to cover his, erm, lower extremities, naturally), much to the shock of the maitre d’ and the other patrons of the restaurant.

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Another classic. Chuck is the manager of a Hallmark store, and John wants to return a “Get Well” card. Why? The guy died! Short, to the point, and very, very funny!

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Unlike some of the other episodes we’ve looked at here, this was a later episode, in which the famous “Pajama Party” outro had been done away with; Pajama Party was the traditional closer in which Chuck and John (and before John, Hoolihan) closed out the show dressed in their PJs and reading submitted jokes. After looking at so many older broadcasts, it’s a little weird to see the segment absent here, even though this is the way I always saw the show closed out in my formative years.

Instead, this was just a standard outro, with reminders for the food drive the next day, the movie next week, goodnights and goodbyes, the expected stuff. In less than 12 hours, their Saturday afternoon Couch Potato Theater would start (earlier in the show, it was touted as “Abbott & Costello,” which almost certainly meant the 1950s sitcom – a show that was run fairly frequently on Couch Potato Theater).

Even so, there’s a real bittersweet feeling to watching the fellas sign off to the famous “Is That All There Is?” by Peggy Lee. Maybe it’s because I know now that Chuck & John wouldn’t be hosting movies for all that much longer; that sorta thing ended in 2007, when Chuck “retired.” But then, it’s wild to realize that in just a little over 10 years after this aired, they’d be back, with the current, aforementioned skits-only show.

No kidding, I hope these guys never go away again.

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Chuck & John that night ran 2 hours and 18 minutes. Since this was a 2 hour and 30 minute timeslot, it stands to reason there was some filler at the end. On that front, WJW presented 1933’s Polly Tix in Washington, a bizarre short comedy featuring little kids in the roles of adult politicians. Shirley Temple is featured in some capacity. It’s pretty weird, it hasn’t aged particularly well, and it’s about as far away from First Blood as possible. Maybe that was the point. Either way, I think I hate it. It’s not funny or cute, just strange.

While not part of the actual episode (the show officially ended immediately before this), this was a surprising bit of filler. Finishing up a slot with old short comedies was more of a WAOH/WAX thing to do – I never expected WJW to pull something like that. I don’t know, maybe it was more common than I realize(d). All I know is that back in the late hours of that Spring 2001 night, I was like “say what?”


So, commercial time. This is where I traditionally look at some of the more interesting ads aired during a respective broadcast. Unfortunately, this time around, 2001 is just a bit too new for my tastes. A lot of this stuff has aged well, meaning they wouldn’t be all that out-of-place on TV nowadays. Still, there were a few interesting spots for us to look at. (And despite the 15 years elapsed since they aired, I actually do recall some of these as if they aired just yesterday.)

WJW TV-8 Stamp Out Hunger Ad

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If they were pushing the food drive on The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show, it stands to reason there’d be commercials for it, too. Needless to say, that’s exactly what this, with anchorman Wayne Dawson, congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones, and a mail carrier (I guess) giving us all the details I, uh, already described earlier.

Labatt Blue Beer “Bear at the Party” Ad

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Not too long ago, I found another spot from this series of ads on a tape, and even though I hadn’t even thought about these commercials in years, I was able to recall the ad far better than I would have anticipated.

The gist of these was that an anthropomorphic Canadian bear (really just a guy in a bear suit – duh!) pitched Labatt Blue beer wherever he went, and got into semi-wacky situations because he’s, you know, a bear. In this installment, he’s brought to a party by a mega-hot chick, and then does awkward things…because he’s a bear. He does the “raise the roof” gesture, he sees a tank of goldfish and believes they’re hors d’oeuvres, he waits in line for the bathroom. This is all ostensibly to sell Labatt Blue, which I guess worked, because this campaign was around for decent length of time.

KFC’s Extra-Crispy Chicken Deal Ad

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Kentucky Fried Chicken didn’t always need George Hamilton to waltz around a set dressed as the Colonel in order to sell their extra-crispy fried chicken parts. Nope, back in 2001, all they needed was a $2.99 deal and shots of people noisily crunchin’ on the things as obnoxiously as possible. Then again, the spot does makes me want some KFC, so I guess it’s still doing the job 15 years later.

Nevertheless, Escape! it is not. KFC will, never, never top Escape!

Alltel’s Kyocera Phone “Chained Down” Ad

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The theme of this spot is that without a cellular phone, you feel ‘chained down.’ This is demonstrated by a hapless lady chained to various products while out and about during her day. Chained to her desk in the elevator, chained to a shopping cart while being a karate ninja, chained to a fax machine and washer/dryer while camping. You get the gist. The point is, you need not feel chained down when you have Alltel’s Kyocera cellular phone and appropriate calling plan. You know, cause it’s mobile.

Frankly, I just included this one here because, man, look at that cellphone! Just look at it! It’s unbelievable what was considered cutting edge technology as recently as 15 years ago! That’s not a knock, either; nope, I love it. What a fantastic example of the early-2000s!

Volk’s Mothers Day Sale Ad

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I thought this was pretty cool. Looking at thousand-year-old videotapes of the local variety, you tend to see ads for Volk’s pretty often; they advertised on local late night TV for years. Apparently they’re still around, though I hear conflicting reports. I refuse to drive to Cleveland just to find out. Here’s the Yelp page, either way.

Anyway, it is (was?) a jewelry/pawn shop. You know, trade/sell, get cash, that sort of thing. For this ad, with Mothers Day coming up, the pitch is, hey, why not go get her a nice piece of jewelry for the occasion?

Rod Stewart Tour Promo

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As this mega-brief promo touts, Rod Stewart was coming to town on his “Human Tour 2001.” Ostensibly this was to promote an album I’ve never heard. Sorry Rod, I would not have gone to this.

Lynyrd Skynyrd – Deep Purple – Ted Nugent Tour Promo

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Lynyrd Skynyrd, Deep Purple and Ted Nugent were also gonna be in town that coming summer. I really would not have gone to this.

Basic Instinct on Big Chuck & Lil’ John Promo

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And finally, next Friday on The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show, it was Basic Instinct. I have not seen Basic Instinct, but from what I know of it, I doubt it aired, editing-wise, as relatively unscathed as First Blood did. Or maybe it did. I don’t friggin’ know.

Though this brings up a point: there were always a lot of kids in the audience when they were taping these shows; were they also watching the movies as they went? Chuck & John seem to generally be following the action. I can’t see them setting up the cameras and hauling an audience in just to film the host segments. On the other hand, even with editing for television, a lot of these movies weren’t really suitable for kids. First Blood, sure, and especially Basic Instinct. I don’t friggin’ know.


And so, there you have it, the 1982 Sly Stallone classic First Blood, as aired on The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show, May 11, 2001. Leonard Maltin didn’t like the movie, but *I* sure did – enough so that I had the foresight to keep the recording. Not that I wouldn’t have anyway; as I’ve said over and over, it’s a great film.

But the sad fact of the matter is, I didn’t always have the foresight to keep these shows. Casino Royale and True Grit, both I recorded but later taped over. I wish I hadn’t done that now, but back then, I had to be a bit pickier on what I used to fill precious tape-space. After all, Big Chuck & Lil’ John had looong shows, especially on Friday night. I’ve said before that watching an entire episode felt like you had run a marathon or something by the time it was over, and First Blood is no different. It felt, and feels, less like a mere movie broadcast and more like an experience, an event, of some sort.

Beyond just being a really fun, entertaining recording, it’s also a reminder of where I was, movie-choice-wise, at the time. And, in the grand scheme of things, it has the feeling of waning days of innocence (which is a funny thing to say about First Blood, I know). We had that Spring, and Summer, but then, well, we all know how everything just went straight to hell that coming Fall. But in May 2001, that was unknowingly, thankfully still inconceivable to us. I was in 8th grade, just about to graduate, high school looming ominously ahead. That’s all I knew then, that I had high school coming up.

In that regard, it’s a terrific snapshot of the time, when all I had to worry about was what I was gonna watch that weekend. And for that weekend, I’m convinced there was no better way to kick things off than with First Blood as presented on The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show.

Monsterfestmania 2016!

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This past weekend, July 29 & 30, 2016, marked the first Monsterfestmania convention, with hopefully many more to come. Held at Quaker Square in downtown Akron, this was practically a hop, skip and jump away from me. I mean, if I was feeling particularly adventurous, I could have walked there, had the mood struck me. I didn’t go that far, but I did make it to the show for both days.

“Oh boy, a big ol’ convention recap post! I love these!”

I naively believe everyone is saying those exact words right at this very moment. And indeed, there’s a precedence for these here at the blog; we’ve visited the annual Ghoulardifest convention not once, not twice, but three times at this point, and yes, there’s plans for a fourth one come October.

This post, however, is not just another Ghoulardifest recap under a different name. Oh sure, there are the pictures with celebrities, and I got some cool loot I’ll show off with so much bravado, but this time around, it was all accompanied by a level of nervousness on my part that, quite frankly, is unprecedented. I don’t really get nervous in anticipation of meeting big-time famous people and whatnot anymore, but I sure did this time.

Why’s that? Because this time, I was actually a part of the show.

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Yep, I was a panel presenter! That’s me to the far-left above, doing my thing in my best Sonny Crockett jacket and stubble. Hey, if I’m gonna be in front of people, I’m gonna look like I just rolled off the set of Miami Vice, by golly!

But why get nervous? I don’t really have a problem with being in front of large groups of people; on the contrary, I relish it. No, any anxiety on my part was due solely to the fact that, frankly, I had just never done anything like this before. This was an entirely new experience for me. And furthermore, at any other convention, I skip the panels; I prefer to meet celebrities face-to-face, and besides, I’m usually too busy blowing my frighteningly limited funds on things I probably don’t need. So, I had descriptive accounts of what would take place, but I had no first-hand knowledge of how all this would play out.

Also, even though I don’t mind being in front of a crowd, I was concerned about what I would say. I’ve seen enough thousand-year-old broadcasts to know that stumbling over words, or worse yet, falling into silence, can be the kiss of death for this sort of thing. There’s no better way to look like a total amateur and lose a crowd right quick. Now, I did have notes with me as a guide, and in most cases I had enough knowledge about the subjects to where I didn’t really need them. Still, with this being my first foray into the world of panels, I neither wanted to appear too unprepared, nor appear too cocky.

Everyone I talked to told me I was just fine, and I was generally pretty happy with my performance (which is actually a telling statement, since I tend to be my own worst critic), though my sense of humor didn’t really fly with the audience (more on that in due time). If I am fortunate enough to be asked back next year, now that I’ve got a little experience under my belt, I feel I’d do even better.

You know what’s really cool about being asked to introduce the panels? It’s basically all because of this blog. Okay, I’ve known two of the guys behind the show itself for years (we’ll see them in a bit) via Time Traveler Records, but it took more than just acquaintances to be invited to do something like this. My high-level of interest in Northeast Ohio horror movie hosts, and my ability to babble about them online, has paid off yet again!

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Hey, dig this: I made the official website! Cool winnins! Stuff like this makes me feel like a big man. I sure hoped I lived up to the promises made in that first paragraph! I did a short intro and outro to each panel, but they really sort of ran themselves; these were all pros I was dealing with here, so there wasn’t much actual ‘moderation’ needed on my part, aside from making sure one panel ended in time for the following panel to begin.

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We’ll get to the panel aspects in just a moment, but for now, first things first: Monsterfestmania as a whole.

You know, I don’t think I’ve been to Quaker Square since, man, probably 2000. That was the last time the Frightvision convention was held there. I had my memories of the place, but I had forgotten just how nice it is inside. Lots and lots of room for vendors, and the two “side rooms” were big enough to fit plenty of people, but not so large that people in the back would be lost. (One room was used for panels, the other for screening films.)

The above picture (as well as the next two) was taken early on the first day, and right from the start, it was obvious a LOT of people had gotten tables. There was stuff for sale as far as the eye could see! And of course, there were the celebrity tables, too; look close and you’ll see Felix “Cousin Itt” Silla (we’ll see more of him in a bit) was captured in the shot above! This was by accident, but it was a happy accident; Felix is a cool guy!

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Another shot of the main convention area, obviously. This was to the far-left when viewed coming from the main entrance. To the left of the picture you can see Dale Kay, and towards the right, internet horror hosts Tarr & Fether. Jungle Bob, with his back unknowingly to the camera, is in the middle. We’ll see more of all of them in a bit, too.

Odd side note: approximately three people are going to get this reference, but the carpeting absolutely reminds me of the floor in the last section of Double Dragon II. Look here if you don’t believe me. I kept looking around for a Big Boss Willy to pummel, but he never showed.

My mind works in really, really weird ways, doesn’t it?

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A shot more towards the back, in the middle of the main space. CW was the sponsor for the show, and not only were they running a swanky commercial for it in the weeks leading up to the big day(s), but they also had displays for CW programming (Supergirl, above) and a cool spinny wheel that yielded sweet, sweet free prizes. My brother, who was also helping out both days, won a copy of Goosebumps on DVD/Blu-ray the first day and a pack of King of Queens playing cards the second. Not realizing I was eligible, I only spun on the second day. I got a see-through tote bag.

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So anyway, my panel presentations. That’s where I spent about 75% of my time at Monsterfestmania. And you know, the fact that I got to hobnob with some genuinely big names in the field in such a ‘close’ way, it still blows my mind. Sure, I already knew Mike & Jan Olszewski, Jungle Bob and Keven “Son of Ghoul” Scarpino, but I had never interacted with them like this. It’s a great honor to be up in front of a crowd with people like that. Just like the official website announcement, it makes me feel like a big man.

Above is the first panel of the first day, and my first panel of any kind in any sort of capacity. And it featured big-time author and horror host-expert Michael Monahan! What a way to start!

When it comes to horror hosts, Monahan is basically the final word on the subject; he’s a legitimate font of information on the genre. Ever read the American Scary book, or see the American Scary documentary? Then you’re familiar with Michael Monahan’s expertise. Indeed, I *love* my copy of American Scary; if it’s not the end-all, be-all of horror host books, it’s certainly in the running. Don’t have it? Pick up a copy today!

(Michael Monahan is a prolific author, and he’s certainly written more than just that – check his work out on Amazon!)

Monahan’s panel consisted of his relating the early years of horror hosting, how it came to be a ‘thing,’ and how it played out over the decades. It was a fascinating talk, and about mid-way through the presentation, he brought out David Ivey, who did artwork and cartoons for The Ghoul Show back in the day – how cool is that?! Ivey related stories of working on the show, which were also fascinating.

(Above, Michael Monahan is the one seated on the right, David Ivey standing on the left.)

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Next up: Jungle Bob’s animal show! Jung! My buddy!

It’s funny; I basically grew up watching Jungle Bob present animals on The Ghoul Show, and then later The Son of Ghoul Show, but I had never actually seen him “in action,” putting on one of his animal presentations. Man, he has it down. I mean, he’s been doing this sort of thing for nearly 30 years, so of course he does. It goes without saying that his animal shows are immensely entertaining; really, they’re a lot of fun. If you’ve been looking for a special guest for that birthday party, JB is a great choice! (Check out his official website here. Buy his terrific book while you’re at it.)

There were a lot of kids in attendance for JB’s show, and boy, is he great with them. I guess you don’t do this sort of thing for 30 years without being good with kids though, huh? He kept them engaged, he was funny, he was informative, he told stories. In short, vintage classic Jungle Bob.

These panels only had about 50 minute allotments, give or take, so JB didn’t have time for a ton of animals, but he did bring a couple cockroaches (including one that hissed), a ball python, and my favorite, a young alligator snapping turtle that kept his mouth menacingly open most of the time. Good stuff!

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My last panel of the first day was “Horror Hosts Reborn,” with Dale Kay of Eerie House (formerly of Kreepy Kastle) heading up a group of online hosts, discussing what opportunities, detriments, and so on that the internet brings the genre. That’s Kay to the far right. Next to him are hosts Tarr & Fether, Fritz the Nite Owl and his producer, and at the end, Mike Mace of The Weirdness Really Bad Movie. The other host of Weirdness, Dave Binkley, was actually at the other end of the table, next to Kay. You saw him earlier in that other shot I used from this panel, and you’ll see him again in a bit, but it looks like I goofed and accidentally cut him out of this shot. I’m sorry Dave!

It was a pretty neat discussion, and since this was the last panel of the day, I let it run well beyond the allotted 50 minutes – it had gained so much momentum by that point that cutting in and ending it would have been incredibly awkward, and besides, I was into it. Internet hosts don’t always get the props they deserve, but there’s a lot that goes into those shows; it was nice to hear all about them from the people that regularly make them happen.

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The next day. You’ll notice I am now wearing my official Monsterfestmania shirt under my Sonny Crockett jacket. Update your diaries accordingly.

Mike Olszewski kicked off the day with a talk on the early days of local television, which, if you’re familiar with him, you know he’s pretty much the authority on the subject, and the stories he tells are nothing short of enthralling. That’s not an exaggeration on my part, either; if you have an interest in this sort of thing, you owe it to yourself to pick up something, anything, written by him.

Mike spent nearly as much time in the panel room as I did Saturday. There were four panels that day, and he was there for four of them. For this first one, his wife Jan (who is also just the greatest) did a funny bit where she stood in the crowd and said she’d only interject to correct Mike!

Speaking of humor, yeah, my jokes didn’t really fly with the crowd. Not that I went up there and did stand-up or anything, but I did want to keep things light, you know? For this panel, I mentioned the two books Mike & Jan wrote (Cleveland TV Tales, volumes 1 & 2), and quickly noted that a piece of my Superhost interview was included in the second book. According to me, I said this “puts it up there with Tom Sawyer as the greatest literary work of mankind” or something along those lines. It got like one laugh – from my brother.

The day prior, as I was introducing Michael Monahan, I briefly stated who I was and why I was up there, and when talking about the blog here, I said something like “Google me, check me out, and you’ll come away feeling better about your life!” Yeah, zero reaction. Okay, the crowd ain’t gonna get my humor, gotcha!

(I wasn’t really embarrassed by my failure to elicit Johnny Carson-style laughs during my intros; if anything, *I* found it really, really funny! Though, my planned rip-off of Carnac for next year, should I be invited back, is now effectively nixed.)

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Next up: The Ghoulardi Tribute panel, with Michael Monahan, Son of Ghoul, Mike Olszewski, and comics legend Tony Isabella. I wish I actually had a working knowledge of comic books so that I could have had a conversation with Tony, but aside from liking Batman and Superman, I, uh, don’t.

It was a fun panel, talking about the influence Ghoulardi had on anything and everything ever. Much of it was familiar to me already, but hearing it from the authorities on the subject, that’s awesome.

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And so, that brought me to the panel I was perhaps most nervous about: The Addams Family presentation, hosted by Ivonna Cadaver (of Youtoo America’s Macabre Theater). You see, I had more than a passing knowledge on everything up to this point, and while I was familiar with Ivonna and her show, my knowledge on The Addams Family is relatively lacking. No knock on the show whatsoever, but I was always, uh, sorta in the Grampa camp.

I needn’t have worried; as I had discovered already, these panels basically run themselves. Those are pros up there onstage, after all. And boy, this one was a LOT of fun, not only because of who was involved, but because this time around, I was really learning things I hadn’t known prior.

And listen to this power line-up: Ivonna Cadaver herself, leading a discussion with Lisa Loring (“Wednesday Addams”) and Felix Silla (“Cousin Itt”). It was funny, entertaining, informative, just a fantastic presentation all around. This one ran a bit shorter than the others, but you know what? The pacing turned out to be perfect. They covered a lot of ground and even got to audience questions, and it never felt rushed or forced or anything other than natural reminiscing. It was great.

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One thing about Monsterfestmania that was heavily promoted in the lead-up to the actual show was Son of Ghoul’s 30th anniversary. Certainly you’ll recall my contribution to the celebration back in June. Well, much of Monsterfestmania was focused on that. Indeed, the fourth panel on the last day (and the last real panel; there was a costume contest held in the room afterwards, but that, needless to say, wasn’t quite the same thing) was a “grand finale” of sorts, focusing entirely on Son of Ghoul’s 30 continuous years as a horror host.

This panel was, man, it was just perfect. It was a wonderful summation of just why SOG is so beloved by Northeast Ohioans. And, if it turns out to be the last real “30th anniversary bang,” what a terrific capper it was. Headed up by Michael Monahan (who told a few jokes as he kicked the panel off following my intro – of course everyone laughed at him) and Mike Olszewski, with the man himself as guest of honor, it was just a wonderful 1+ hour presentation.

For the most part, it didn’t stray too far from the format of the other panels: some video clips, a discussion on SOG’s achievement, some reminiscing, even some great stories about Fidge. It was all very entertaining and a worthy tribute to SOG.

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But, it was the ‘climax’ of the panel that just put it over the top, taking it from great and putting it solidly into unforgettable territory. Michael Savene, one of the guys behind Monsterfestmania as a whole, joined the panel and, along with Monahan and Olszewski, presented SOG with some truly remarkable gifts: 1) A letter of congratulations, on White House stationary, signed by the President. 2) A letter from Senator Sherrod Brown. 3) A proclamation from Akron Mayor Daniel Horrigan proclaiming June 30, 2016 “Son of Ghoul Day.” 4) A classy lifetime achievement plaque from Monsterfestmania. How great is that?!

I think SOG was genuinely touched to be honored in such a way. How could someone not be? It was just a fantastic, momentous, once-in-a-lifetime event, perfectly commemorating a 30-years-and-counting run that, in all likelihood, will never be equaled – or topped. And to be a part of this tribute in some way, it’s something I am extremely proud of. Even if I had done nothing else this past weekend, this moment alone was worth any anxiety on my part.

(The panel culminated in a special SOG 30th cake, which I stupidly didn’t think to get a picture of.)


So, that was basically how my weekend was spent, hobnobbing with people that actually know what they’re talking about. Truth be told, I didn’t have a whole lot of time to spend on the floor, for the most part. I made some rounds before the doors opened on Friday, and for a bit after my last panel that night, and a few points in-between. But, I didn’t really get to go around, meet people, and take pictures with the ‘lebrities until after my last panel on Saturday. Who’d I meet? Read on!

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This picture was taken Friday night, a decision that proved to be extremely fortunate. I’ll explain further when I get to the “my stuff” section of this post.

I met Fritz the Nite Owl! When the guests were being announced for Monsterfestmania, this was one of the major draws for me. Longtime readers (or at least longer time readers) will recall I’ve talked about Fritz a bit before here (more on that momentarily). Even though I didn’t grow up watching him (he hails from the Columbus, Ohio market, and I, uh, don’t), I’ve loved everything I’ve seen regarding him. He’s a legitimate horror hosting legend, so if nothing else, I was going to meet him!

And boy oh boy, he was just great! Extremely giving with his time, free with signing autographs, and he told absolutely wonderful stories. Not just quick brush-off stories, either; nope, these were detailed, entertaining stories. And he was the nicest guy during all of it.

As if I couldn’t be any more impressed by him, something he did that I thought was ridiculously cool was his showing up to panels, and then just sitting in the audience, taking it all in. Even though he would eventually be pointed out (and given a round of applause – deservedly so), he wasn’t there for that; he was there to see the presentations. Fritz was just the coolest.

He’s still going, too. Check out his official website for more details!

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Also taken Friday night, here I am with the Weirdness Really Bad Movie guys: Dave Binkley on the left, Mike Mace on the right. Really great, super friendly guys. Their talks during the “Horror Hosts Reborn” panel were beyond enlightening.

My doing the panel presentations wasn’t a new development; Michael Savene came to me about a year and a half ago, asking me if I’d like to be involved with the show. Of course I instantly said yes. I had plenty of time to prepare, at least mentally, for that. However, something I was asked to do the first day came out of the blue: make announcements for the charity auctions, panels and movie showings over the loudspeaker. I had no problem with that, but just like the panel presentations, this was all entirely new to me. Mike Mace gave me some pointers, showed me how to use the most ear-grabbing techniques, excellent things to know. Mike’s a good egg.

Check out the official Weirdness Really Bad Movie website here.

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Jungle Bob was only there the first day, and in a stunningly goofballed oversight on my part, I neglected to get a picture with him. I mean, sure, I’ve got pictures of myself hangin’ with JB before, but this was Monsterfestmania #1! And I messed up!

So, to make up for that blunder, here’s a zoomed, cropped, overly- blurry shot of the man himself holding a really angry snapping turtle. It was a young alligator snapper, and boy did it act like it!

If you ever have the chance to talk, I mean really talk with JB, he has some absolutely fantastic stories of his years in the business. I won’t divulge his Rock Hall tale here, that’s his turf, but it’s just great. JB is, without a doubt, “the dude.”

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The Yess Man!

Jesse Vance was/is not only one of the masterminds behind Monsterfestmania, but also a very good friend of mine. Popularly known as “The Yess Man” (he’s got the juice), Jesse is largely to thank for this this post and this post, as well as tons of great material that hasn’t even been hinted at on this blog yet. Seriously, he’s always helping me out with the cool winnins, and even if he didn’t, he’d still be one of the best friends I’ve got. One of the funniest, coolest guys I’ve ever known. He was also a huge help to me in the time leading up to the show, and even during the show itself. Thanks, Yess Man!

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Look who I did done runned into! My buddy Steve from high school!

Let me be frank, there’s really only a handful of people I’d care to run into from high school, and make no mistake, Steve is one of them. He was one of the coolest guys then, and he’s one of the coolest guys now. Even back then, we could sit and discuss movies, especially horror & sci-fi movies, for great lengths of time. Also, I refuse to believe anyone knows more about Batman than Steve. Dude’s even got a legit Adam West Batman costume!

I won’t divulge too much, but chances are we’ll be seeing Steve again on the blog; we’ve already come up with some great ideas for post-collaboratin’!

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I wonder if it was deflating for Son of Ghoul to get a letter from the president and a plaque and a big ol’ cake, and then almost immediately afterwards have to take pictures like this with me?

I had a lot of fun and some great conversations with SOG both days. Because of my white jacket, and because he knows me, he liked to shout “Waiter! Water!” whenever I walked by. I got a kick out of it, and eventually I decided it would be pretty funny if I actually brought him some water. I had this big long comedy routine worked out in my head for when I did, too. When I gave him the cup though, he seemed a little confused and admitted he “was just joking!” That, of course, kind of put an end to any ostensibly-hilarious bit I had planned before it even got started.

My sense of humor was really batting zippo with the masses…

(Remember that time I interviewed SOG? It happened, and it was earth-shattering.)

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Hanging with the guys from the last panel of the first day on, uh, the last day. On the left: internet hosts Tarr & Fether. On the right: Dale Kay. In the middle: my really cool official Monsterfestmania t-shirt. (They let us keep ’em, too!)

Had some great talks with Dale; when all was said and done, panel-wise, we chatted a bit outside on Saturday (finally had time to get some food!). I admit it took me a second to recognize him without the hat (I was pretty beat by that point, y’see). Dale mentioned the old Ghoul skit where a stuffed Gamera was sent zooming across the studio – anyone who loves that bit as much as I do is automatically my friend.

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On the left, Michael Monahan. On the right, Dave Ivey. It was awesome meeting Dave; so much of his work was familiar to me, except I didn’t know it was his. A great artist and a great guy.

Had some terrific conversations with Michael Monahan. We both agreed Dr. Paul Bearer was one of the absolute greats, and we discussed our obtaining of various horror host material. I even showed him the clip of Renfield on my phone; it was a new one on him, so the mystery of the show continues – if it’s unfamiliar to Michael Monahan, it must be mega-obscure!

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I met Ivonna Cadaver!

Ivonna Cadaver hosts Macabre Theater on Youtoo America every Saturday night at 10 PM. It’s tough for any host to make it on local TV, never mind national TV, and to be doing it since 2002? That’s beyond impressive. I told her myself how awesome an achievement it was to make it on national TV, too.

And boy, she was just absolutely the nicest. She even told me a couple of times how well I did presenting her panel. She even stopped in to watch the SOG 30th presentation from the audience, completely unannounced, just taking it all in. I think that’s such a cool thing for a fellow host to do. I’m extremely glad I had a chance to talk with her and get a photo.

I met Ivonna Cadaver!

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Hangin’ with my Facebook pal, Dr. Dark aka Justin Thomas Ord! Great, great guy – very friendly and a lot of fun to talk to. He was there the first day, and I was looking for him – but being out of costume, I completely missed him! That was obviously rectified the second day, and I’m glad it was; I would have been bummed otherwise.

Also, is it just me or does his costume recall The Shroud? That alone makes him “the man!”

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I had, had, to get a picture with, I’m convinced, two of the nicest people in the whole wide world: Mike & Jan Olszewski! Who’s that curly-headed guy? That’s my brother Luke! No, I don’t think we look alike, but tis true nevertheless. Also, that’s a lot of Monsterfestmania shirts in one picture.

Mike paid me a wildly high compliment early on the first day: he told me I was like a 60-year-old in the body of a 20-year-old, because of what I generally write about. Could’ve knocked me over with a feather!

The reason I found that especially complimentary? Doing what I do, and being as old (or young) as I am, I’ve naturally run into some people that, right off the bat, don’t take me seriously, or worse yet, don’t think I actually know what I’m talking about. I’m generally an easygoing guy, but that mindset can and does irritate me really, really fast, because it’s based on a preconceived notion without any evidence on their part to back it up. So, to hear such a compliment from someone that knows more about TV than, well, pretty much anyone, it’s both insanely flattering and a kind of validation.

Mike & Jan really are just wonderful. Y’all should go and buy both volumes of their Cleveland TV Tales, if you haven’t done so yet. I’m not just saying that because I’m so fond of the authors, either; these are genuine must-reads! Plus, if you think about it, the bits from my Superhost interview in Volume 2 really do elevate the book to Tom Sawyer-status, whether the audience recognizes it or not. [Insert winky emoticon here.]

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And finally, things wouldn’t be complete without a picture of myself with fearless leader, Michael Savene! Michael is one of the main-brains behind not only Monsterfestmania but also Akron Comicon, and make no mistake, he and the other folks behind these shows know how to run a convention. They did a phenomenal job; the first-ever Monsterfestmania was a total blast. I can’t thank him enough for allowing me to be a part of all this!

Also, eagle-eyes will notice we were photobombed by The Yess Man!


Just for fun:

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The Yess Man and I messing around with some zombie-thing. I’m not sure why, but I was pretty tired and probably fairly slap-happy by that point. Looks like we’re helping him get up off the ground or something.

More just for fun:

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Son of Ghoul at his most Batman-ish. It looks like he just rolled in off the set of Batman Returns. I’m not sure why my mind heads towards Batman Returns and not, say, the ’89 Batman, but whatever. In his hand, SOG holds a plastic cup of punch. I capture all of the special little moments in life, don’t I?

Last just for fun:

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A wildly blurry and off-center photo of me with Fritz the Nite Owl. I’m not sure why my brother snapped this, but to tell you the truth, I kinda like it. It’s avant garde or artsy or something like that.


I usually wrap these convention recap posts up with a look at my loot, my booty, my haul. That is, the cool stuff I picked up at the show. I actually didn’t buy much there, mainly because I didn’t have a whole lot of time. Well, that’s not quite true; I didn’t buy anything. That doesn’t mean I didn’t come home with some cool stuff though. Besides the everlastingly-awesome convention t-shirt, check these goods out…

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Because I used my bean and got a picture with Fritz at the end of the first night, that meant I had time to get an 8×10 glossy of the occurrence printed out and subsequently signed the next day! A pic with Fritz and his autograph? It doesn’t get much cooler than that! Also, a post, the one I alluded to earlier, featured an image from his run on WBNS TV-10, spotlighting Taxi and his Double Chiller Nite Owl Theater program. I’ve got several Fritz promos, but this was the only one specifically horror-related. So, I figured why not get a glossy print-out of that sceencap, too. Fritz was gracious enough to sign it as well (and he told me quite a bit about some of his other station duties around that time period).

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In the same arena, a couple of SOG screencaps from promos I’ve found, printed out as glossies and graciously signed by the man himself. The one on top is a clip from his 7th anniversary special promo (WOAC TV-67, 1993), and the one below is a shot from his 2015 promo announcing his timeslot change (as far as I know, this is the newest promo he has). We actually saw that one here before, when I was trying to spread the word of the change.

I like getting these sorts of things signed because, frankly, I’ve already got much of the ‘normal’ stuff; I like to have something unique added to my collection, something not everyone else has. Methinks these fit the bill.

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Last but certainly not least: a Son of Ghoul commemorative 30th anniversary Monsterfestmania mug! Still new in the plastic! This was a complimentary gift, given to me when I got my t-shirt before the doors opened on the first day. (My brother got a mug and shirt to call his own as well.) I THIS LOVE MUG. It’s an exclusive thing, celebrating both SOG’s 30th and the convention I was proud to be a part of. It will probably stay new in the plastic, because if I were ever to try using it, I know I’d be freaking out over it, worried I’d break it or chip it or what have you.

I LOVE THIS MUG!


I do believe that about wraps this recap up. I had a fantastic two days at Monsterfestmania #1. Not only was it a learning experience, but it was a fun learning experience. I met some great people, got some awesome pictures, brought home some cool memorabilia, and helped get my silly little blog out there a bit more (some guy even asked me for my card; never thinking anyone would care enough to want a card, I instead wrote down the web address on a sad piece of notepad paper).

My sincerest thanks again to Michael Savene, Jesse Vance and everyone else that helped make this happen. It was and is a honor and pleasure to be a part of the show, and should you want me back for the next one, hey, I’m there!

(Here is the official Monsterfestmania website. Check it out, and if you didn’t make it to the show this year, try to come out next year!)

Ghoulardifest 2015!

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Yes, it’s that time of year again: Ghoulardifest! It’s hard for me to adequately portray in words just how much I love going to this convention every fall season. I really do anticipate it the whole year round. Seriously, the very next day, I’m already jonesing for the next show. I’ve been to some conventions in my time, but because it’s so tailored to my tastes and my hometown (well, roughly; I’m an Akronite), I can say without exaggeration that Ghoulardifest is my favorite. There’s a reason I’ve made it a point to make it there every year since 2011. It’s like the Bruce Springsteen concert of horror/sci-fi conventions; one ain’t enough, I needs me more!

Besides, after sitting around going through thousand-year old videotape after thousand-year old videotape, it’s nice to get out once in awhile, y’know?

Ghoulardifest is, of course, the annual celebration of any and all things Ernie “Ghoulardi” Anderson. Not only is his pioneering character and show represented (gee, no kidding!), but also his successors, as well as Cleveland TV in general. Beyond that, a lot of it has more to do with the spirit of Ghoulardi, the era he came from, the music, the movies, that sort of thing. Of course, there’s also a lot of stuff that has no real connection to Ghoulardi, but instead would fit in at any typical horror convention. That’s not a complaint on my part; it all adds up to a lot of fun with something for everybody, except it’s all with a heavy Cleveland theme. That’s why I love it so much!

For the third year in a row, the show was held at the plush LaVilla Banquet Center, which is an absolutely terrific venue for the convention. Driving to the LaVilla to see Ghoulardifest around the same time every year (always on a Sunday; November 1 this year), it has really come to symbolize Fall and the end of the Halloween season and the start of the holiday season for me (even on those years where the show falls before or on Halloween). Some people get up early to shop the day after Thanksgiving, I plan around Ghoulardifest. Considering it’s less hectic and I find things I actually want, I dare say I come out on the winning end every year, but that’s just me.

And lest you forget, Ghoulardifest was almost certainly the reason for that Big Chuck & Lil’ John Ghoulardi Special I babbled about in mid-October (unless it wasn’t, in which case never mind). They ran it several times after that as well, and better promotion for Ghoulardifest I cannot think of.

(Also, should the mood strike you, check out my recaps for the 2013 and 2014 conventions, though I fear some redundancy among those two posts and this one.)

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(Click on any of the pictures to, how do you say, enlarge them.)

I was told there was going to be fewer vendors this year, and maybe there weren’t quite as many as previous shows, but there was still a lot going on. Indeed, it took several walks around the entire place to take it all in, and frankly, I seriously doubt I did take it all in. If anything, and this is just me talking, but less vendors gave the entire show this year a more balanced feel. Not that I’m promoting “less stuff,” but everything I look for at Ghoulardifest was well-represented, but not in an overwhelming way (unlike earlier years, where I was struggling to take it all in and afraid I’d miss “somethin’ good.”).

The heart and soul of the place is really the Cleveland stuff: Ghoulardi, of course, and Big Chuck & Lil’ John (don’t forget, the official title is Big Chuck & LIl’ John’s Ghoulardifest), Son of Ghoul (that’s him doin’ his thing above), and some of Cleveland’s newer horror hosts, plus lotsa Cleveland TV (and even some radio) memorabilia in general. For obvious reasons, it’s a very Cleveland-centric convention, as one would expect.

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That said, if someone from out-of-state were to waltz in without knowing what this was all about (just play along with the scenario, okay?), they’d probably be confused by all this Ghoulardi-hoopla, but they’d also still be able to find some stuff they’d want. There’s a lot of ‘general’ stuff there; that is, things that wouldn’t be out-of-place at any horror/sci-fi convention. Posters, lobby cards, toys, Star Wars, Star Trek, DVDs, music (lotsa CDs and vinyl). Heck, one guy even had a ton of Laserdiscs, and his box of Godzilla LDs was enough to elicit an “oh MAN!” reaction from me, though I was burning money so frighteningly fast that I unfortunately wasn’t able to partake of said Laserdiscs. I just know I’m going to regret not buying that Japanese King Kong Vs. Godzilla LD sometime down the road.

What I’m saying is that even if you’re not into Ghoulardi or the whole Northeast Ohio horror hosting thing, if you like vintage horror or science fiction films, odds are you’ll still find plenty to peak your interest anyway.

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There’s even some newer, “craft-y” type stuff, for those so inclined. Since I’m rarely hip to that sort of thing, my brother tells me the product seen in this picture is “pixel art,” which is as it sounds: artwork, keychains and so on, made up pixel-by-pixel, just like the character sprites in 8-bit and 16-bit video games. I generally only buy video game stuff when it’s vintage-from-the-period, but no doubt this new-fangled pixel art thing is cool. I mean, pixelated Mario Kart artwork? Heck yeah!

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See, my brother and I always hit up Ghoulardifest on Sunday, the last day of the show. It just works easiest for us that way. The downside is that we often miss some of the special guests and events they have going. Readings By Robert and stage shows like that, we don’t always get to see those. This year though, they had some good stuff going on the whole time we were there.

Up above is Caesare Belvano, who does a phenomenal Elvis performance. I don’t always go for the fan-tribute thing, but Elvis is one of the few exceptions. Not only because Elvis is dead and thus my chances of seeing him live are, well, nil, but also because Elvis tribute acts have become an art unto themselves. Rest assured, Caesare does a fantastic Elvis. His voice is unbelievable; he was on-stage when we first went in, and before I even actually saw him up there, I heard him, and his singing blew me away. His rendition of “My Way” was just incredible. I’ve seen and heard a lot of Elvis over the years, and Caesare gets my full approval (not that my approval really amounts to all that much, but whatever).

Caesare’s official website. If you have the chance to go see him, please do so!

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After Caesare, The ReBeats took the stage. Beatles tribute acts are another exception for me; I love them and the time period of music they generally cover (aside from Springsteen, 1950s & 1960s Rock & Roll is my preference). In the case of The ReBeats, they of course do The Beatles, but not just The Beatles. While we were there, they were busting into The Dave Clark Five (they do a great “Catch Us If You Can”), and though we were on our way out by that point, according to their website they also cover Paul Revere & The Raiders, which automatically grabs my admiration.

Speaking of their website, check it out.

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I imagine Friday and almost certainly Saturday were busier, but there was a pretty good turnout for what was the last day of the show, too. Indeed, Big Chuck, Lil’ John and Hoolihan had a pretty steady line the entire time we were there; getting to Hoolie in particular looked like quite a wait!

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Speaking of meeting the celebrities, here I am with my pal Jungle Bob! I’ve been a JB fan ever since he started featuring his animals on The Ghoul waaaay back in, what, 1999? 2000? Jungle Bob is one of the coolest guys you could hope to talk to, and he always has some creatures at Ghoulardifest. I forget what he said the thing was in his hand when this picture was taken, but it had a blue tongue and a little goatee. Turn blue, goatee, sounds pretty Ghoulardi-appropriate to me! Later on, he was walking around with a chinchilla, surefire proof of how cool JB is.

Jungle Bob’s official website.

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Me with Mike & Jan Olszewski, where I was able to pick up their fantastic new book, Cleveland TV Tales Volume 2. As of this writing, it’s not yet available on Amazon, but when it is, y’all should buy it. And if you haven’t got the first one yet, buy that, too. There’s an added incentive to buying Volume 2, but I’ll get to that a bit later in the post.

Lemme tell you my Mike Olszewski story: I first met him in 1999 at a signing for the book he and Ron “The Ghoul” Sweed wrote together. He was very personable then. But, it was when I met him over a year later that he just knocked me out (no, not literally!). The Ghoul was making a personal appearance at B-Ware Video in Lakewood. It’s long gone, but at the time, B-Ware was a haven for all of the hard-to-find, obscure movies that you couldn’t easily locate anywhere else. Anyway, The Ghoul was filming bits for his show, and when the cameras came out, I kinda sorta retreated further back into the store. Mike saw this, and despite not actually knowing me, he came up and implored me to get on camera. Thanks to him, The Ghoul episode that aired with this footage featured me near the front, loafing about and occasionally cheering. I always thought it was amazing that Mike would take the time to do that for a total stranger. ‘Course, I was a goofy lookin’ 14 year old, but I won’t hold that against him.

Nowadays, Mike occasionally pops into Time Traveler Records, and every meeting I’ve had with him since that day in 2000 has only reinforced my opinion that he’s one of the nicest guys in the world.

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Hanging with Cleveland weather legend Dick Goddard. No kidding, Dick Goddard is weather in Northeast Ohio. I’ve met him before, but this is my first picture with him (I would have had one a few years back, but the camera decided it didn’t want to take the shot, which I didn’t realize until well after we had left). Every time I’ve met him, Dick has been very friendly.

What am I holding in my hand? Why, that’s my now-autographed Dick Goddard CD! How, what, when, where? I’ll explain later.

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My buddy, Son of Ghoul! Every single year, if I’m going to buy anything, it’s going to be at SOG’s table. I actually make it a point to buy from him. He gets more of my money than anybody. Considering I usually have so little of it, I hope that says something.

Longtime readers will know what a fan I am of SOG; I’ve been watching him since Halloween ’97, I still write into the show, and, you know, there was that time I interviewed the man himself. He even recognizes me when I walk up to him, which always makes me feel like a big man.

There was some sad news in regards to the show this year that SOG and I talked about: longtime supporter of all this, Jim “The Colonel” Klink passed away a week before Ghoulardifest ’15. Klink was well-known to SOG fans for his rabid support and many packages sent to the show. Before SOG, he was a big Superhost guy (in fact, I *think* some of his Supe artwork can be seen in this old post of mine). I saw him walking around at least once at previous shows, and we were friends on Facebook, but it’s much to my regret that I never actually met him in person. The show of grief for Jim’s passing on Facebook was overwhelming; he touched a lot of people and became a well-known Northeast Ohio personality simply by indulging in his fandom and being a nice guy.

Besides being his Facebook friend, my limited contact with Klink included this very nice comment he left for my SOG interview. I think it shows what a good-hearted, upbeat guy he was, and thus I’d like to present here as a small tribute to him:

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R.I.P, Colonel.

The official Son of Ghoul website.

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A dream realized! I wanted to meet Janet Decay (aka The Daughter Of The Ghoul, aka Janet Jay) last year, but she was either off doing something or I missed her completely. So, I definitely wanted to meet her this year.

She’s doing a new show with Grimm “James Harmon” Gorri titled The Mummy and the Monkey. When they asked me if I had seen it yet, I had to sheepishly sputter in the negative. D’oh! I had seen The Daughter Of The Ghoul Show before though, which I liked, so I had no problem buying a DVD of their new show. They even gave me a cute lil’ free button; cool winnins! They were both incredibly friendly; I foresee great things in their future.

One thing I noticed when the guest list was announced (and this has been pointed out by others) this year was the lack of national celebrities. For example, last year Arch Hall Jr. and Dee Wallace Stone were in attendance. While I would have liked to talk with Arch Hall again, and I had my concerns when no one like that was included in the show this year, I think it’s cool that the guests were overwhelmingly Cleveland-centric AND that the turnout was so good. It shows that our guys can hold their own and still make for a successful show, and Janet Decay & Grimm Gorri are prime examples of that; their table was very busy!

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Is it corny and/or cliche to say that Fox 8 news anchor Tracy McCool was the coolest? Yeah, I bet she hasn’t heard that enough! Well, she was. Seriously, she was about as nice as it gets. Because WJW Fox 8 was sponsoring the show this year (as opposed to WBNX TV-55 in preceding years), a lot of talent from the station made appearances over the three days. I had brushed up a bit on who was going to be there via the official Ghoulardifest website, though by Sunday afternoon I had promptly forgotten most of it. So, it was a bit of a surprise to see Tracy McCool walk in. She was absolutely great.

You know what really impressed me about her? It wasn’t just that she’d take the time to pose for a picture with a goofball like me. No, rather it was what she was telling a young girl ahead of us: she was explaining good starting places to begin a career in broadcasting, and she wasn’t rattling off facts or anything like that, she was actually talking to her. One thing I admire about a celebrity is their ability to genuinely talk and listen to their fans; not that I expected anything less from Tracy McCool, that’s just a general observation, and fortunately, it applies to many, many of these Cleveland TV personalities (frankly, everyone in this post). Tracy McCool was just awesome.

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I met Bill Ward previously, at the 2013 convention. For years he was the voice of WJW, and make no mistake, that voice is instantly recognizable to many Northeast Ohioans. Just like Tracy McCool (and when I met him in ’13), Ward really takes the time to talk with you, and you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone friendlier (I know, I know, I’m repeating the whole “they were nice” thing a lot in this post; hey, everybody was ridiculously nice!). We actually had a conversation about a commercial he did not too long ago for a retirement company, in which he played “Stu,” and he told me some very funny anecdotes related to that ad.

If you ever have the chance to speak with Bill Ward, trust me, you’ll walk away the better for it. An extremely kind and incredibly funny guy.

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Ah, the customary picture with Big Chuck & Lil’ John. I can’t ever leave without one, because even though I’ve got plenty of pictures with them, accumulating more makes me feel important. I wanted to get a picture with Chuck, John and Hoolihan, but Hoolie was so incredibly busy at his end of the table that I wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to break away for it. Not that I’m complaining, because a picture with Big Chuck & Lil’ John is one of the coolest things anyone could hope to achieve.

This year, they were selling brand new Big Chuck & Lil’ John wine glasses, and Lil’ John had one in front of him complete with some actual wine in it. Every few minutes he’d take a sip and proclaim “work, work, work!” and it just got funnier each time.

I finally got to talk to Chuck about something that’s been on mind for quite awhile: several years ago, I found a locally-released vinyl record by one Scott Read, appropriately titled The Scott Read Show. According to the liner notes, it was a program on WJW produced by Chuck. So, I asked him about it, and Chuck told me it was many one of many shows that he produced, and it didn’t last very long, only about 6 months on the air. I’m thinking next time they’re making an appearance somewhere, I just might bring that LP along to get signed.

Surprisingly, John seemed to remember us from past years; he actually asked if we always came on Sundays (yep). How cool is that? Although, it’s also a little distressing; I had been relying on the idea that if I accidentally did or said something totally stupid in front of Chuck and/or John (and really, it’s only a matter of time), they meet so many people in a year that they’d quickly forget my face and then we could start anew next time. But now, I just don’t know. Oh the agony it is to be me!

The official Big Chuck & Lil’ John website.

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I met Caesare after his set. There were a number of people waiting to get pictures with him, some acting like he was the real Elvis. Of course, he played the part up and was extremely nice to everyone. He was very gracious when I told him what a fantastic show he put on. Great guy!

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Another dream realized! I met The Midnight Movie guys last year, but I missed Dave from the show. As luck would have it, just as we were on our way out, he was in the lobby taking a break, and he was cool enough to take a picture with me. Even better, he told me that they were filming a lot of footage there for a show that should air within the next month or so. I noticed they were filming when I was waiting to take a picture with Chuck & John; indeed, I’m in the background as they were interviewing Tracy McCool. Me? Surprise Midnight Movie cameo? Maybe!

The official Midnight Movie website.

And so, that ended the annual visit to Ghoulardifest. But wait! Before heading home for another year, we had one last stop to make…

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No trip to Ghoulardifest would be complete without the customary visit to the Big Boy restaurant down the street from the LaVilla. A Ghoulardifest excursion just doesn’t feel right without it. In fact, we did skip the Big Boy one year, and by the time we got home, we felt like we had missed out on an essential element of the trip (or at least, I certainly did). And it’s not just because of the whole Manners Big Boy-Ghoulardi connection, either; rather, Big Boy restaurants are rare animals, and there are none near us anymore. So after reveling in all of this once-a-year fandom, it’s only fitting that we revel in some once-a-year food, too.

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I have to give a big shout out to my brother Luke. It’s thanks to him that I’m able to make it to Ghoulardifest every year. He always drives, because if it were up to me to commandeer the car, I’d probably wind up driving it into a ditch or something. Carnage such as that would probably put a real damper on the event.

Luke likes going to these, he digs all this stuff, and he was jazzed for the trip, but he doesn’t get into it all quite as much as I do; I watched a lot of this stuff growing up, but he usually had other interests. Without me, I doubt he’d make the trip, so for him to haul my goofy self up there each and every year is a testament to what a nice guy he is. Luke is a good mang. Plus he paid for lunch.

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I tried looking at the menu to see if there was something different I wanted this year. No go, the Super Big Boy is just too good to pass up. Seriously, it’s one of my favorite burgers on this planet. It’s that good. Look at that beauty! Two patties, cheese, and special sauce. They taste as good as they look. If you ever find yourself in a Big Boy, this is the option on the menu that I heartily endorse.


Okay, that was the show (and lunch), but what about the goods, the loot, the booty I picked up during the trip? I always come home with some good stuff, and this just may be one of my best hauls ever. And even if it’s not, I still feel perfectly justified in blowing through my money at an alarming rate.

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I have the previously-released clear glass “Certain Ethnic Last Supper” mug (you can see it in this post), but when I saw these new white mug versions, I had to get one. Two, actually; my good friend Pete G. helped me out big time by providing me with tickets to the show, allowing me to save some extra precious bucks, so I got him one of these as a thank you. You’re a good man, Pete!

It’s a cool mug, showcasing much of the Northeast Ohio TV talent that has infiltrated the airwaves over the years. There are a lot of mugs/cups/whatever featuring these guys, but this one is easily one of my favorites of the bunch.

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I got this from Son of Ghoul, and man is it cool. It is what it looks like: a picture of Superhost in a wooden frame. Sure, technically I could print out my own Supe picture, get an old frame and make my own, but there was something about this that made me have to buy it as soon as I saw it. It just felt so right.

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Yeah, I bought another. If you go back to my Ghoulardifest post from last year, you’ll see how jazzed I was to get a Superhost shirt from Son of Ghoul. In my weird little world, I decided I needed another one that I could wear around without fear of wearing it out or accidentally staining it. I’m normally a size-large wearer, but I can get away with a medium, which is fortunate, because there were no more larges left. SOG jokingly explaining the sizes sans-large: “You can get an extra-large and throw it in the dryer to shrink it, or you can get a medium and lay off the Whoppers!” I was cracking up!

Like I said before, Son of Ghoul got more of my money than anybody this year. Truth be told, he usually gets more of my money than anyone else every year. I’m fine with that!

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This was a longtime coming, and I’m a little ashamed to admit that it took me this long to get Jungle Bob’s excellent book, BobTails. Naturally he autographed it to me. You’d be well advised to pick one up, it’s good stuff!

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My official The Mummy and the Monkey DVD of the original Little Shop of Horrors, a swanky flyer, and that aforementioned official button. I pinned the button to my jacket when we took the photo, and promptly forgot it was there for most of the day, and that’s not a bad thing!

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My copy of Mike & Janice Olszewski’s brand new Cleveland TV Tales Volume 2 book. They even autographed it for me! I haven’t had time to read much of it yet (I just got it yesterday!), but the content is directly up my alley. Indeed, it’s already on track to becoming one of my very favorite books of this nature. Why? Because I’m in it, that’s why!

Well, a piece of my interview with Marty “Superhost” Sullivan is, anyway.

A few months back, Mike contacted me asking for my permission to use the bit in the interview where Marty talks about his feelings following the filming of his final episode. Well heck yeah Mike, use away! What a thrill!

When I went up to Mike’s table, he had sample copies of all of his books on display, and I quickly began searching myself out in this newest one. I didn’t have time to find the exact quote (I did when I got home though; this site is mentioned in the body of the section!), but I did find myself listed right at the top of the bibliography. I considered stomping around and shrieking “I is published, I is published!” I decided against it though; having security cart me out for being too obnoxious probably would have put a dark cloud over the day.

But seriously, what a monumental honor for me. This really does feel like some kind of validation, like I’m actually contributing something to something. I mean, okay, most of the time on this blog, I’m just screwing around and posting things that I know only select people are gonna care about. That’s fine, that’s why I do what I do. But, when I do something actually important, and I’d certainly like to think my Superhost interview qualifies, it’s nice to know that the big names (and make no mistake, Mike & Janice Olszewski’s work is VERY well known) take notice. Mike even thanked me again for letting him use the piece and told me what a great interview it was. Hey, if I’m getting Mike Olszewski’s approval, I must be doing something right!

So, thanks again Mike! (And thanks again also to Marty Sullivan for taking the time to speak with me in the first place!)

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Some decidedly cool postcard reproductions of classic Cleveland TV artwork. At a buck apiece, I couldn’t resist. Included: Batguy & Rinaldi, Superhost, The Kielbasy Kid, and Hoolihan & Big Chuck’s good night bumper.

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No, I didn’t buy this CD there, but I was fortunate enough to find it at a thrift store early last week. No kidding, I almost flipped out. The first time I thumbed through the CDs I didn’t even notice it. It wasn’t until my usual second run-through that I saw it. It was placed in backwards, so I was reading the spine upside down, and I thought to myself “wait, am I reading that right?” Obviously I was, and from that moment on it was coming home with me. Quite a few people I told about it thought it was extremely cool as well, and everyone agreed I should get it signed at Ghoulardifest.

It was released in 2002 as a 9/11 tribute, and features vocals by not only Dick Goddard but also fellow WJW 8 talent Tim Taylor and Wilma Smith, along with a few others. There are some standards on it, and some monologues. I like to think of it as Dick Goddard’s attempt at his own The Rising. (How many superfluous Springsteen references in this post does that make? I’m up to three – so far.)

Goddard got a big kick out of it when I presented it to him to be signed. When asked where I got it, I couldn’t lie, so I told him the thrift store. Then, how much did I pay? Well, that was prickly, because I didn’t want to accidentally insult him by telling him the CD was only going for $1.50. I needn’t have worried; he cracked up!

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And finally, my mega-cool Ghoulardifest 2015 promotional poster. Like the Dick Goddard CD, I didn’t get this at the show, but unlike the CD, I didn’t bring it to be signed there. But, I feel I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank my good friend Scott at Time Traveler Records for it. Every year he thinks of me when he gets the promotional Ghoulardifest stuff and gives me the poster after the event. Scott helps me out in so many ways, far beyond keeping me in mind when cool stuff likes this comes along, and I can’t thank him enough. I’m proud to call him amigo.


And with that, my big giant Ghoulardifest 2015 recap comes to a close. From the people there, to the people I met, to the stuff I came home with, to the book with my gol’derned Superhost thing in it, I dare say this was one of the best ones ever. My brother and I had an absolute blast (and a fine, fine lunch). I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s so great to know that Northeast Ohio memories are long; when personalities such as these have meant so much to so many, they never really go away, even if they’re not on the air. Furthermore, the new personalities that come along to take up the torch are not only treated with respect, but also welcomed into the fold, as it were. Ghoulardifest is a celebration of all that, and as a lifelong Northeast Ohioan and TV fan, that’s something I’m absolutely grateful for.

And yes, even though this all took place only yesterday, I’m already starting to itch for the next one!

Mill Creek’s 3-Disc The Best of the Worst 12-Movie DVD Set

 

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Look what I got! A 12-movie, 3-disc budget DVD set of what are, ostensibly, the best of the worst movies ever made! Cool winnins! I was stoked to get this! And it was cheap, too! In general, this set tends to run, from what I’ve heard, between $5 to $10, a price that is completely acceptable even for someone that’s as perpetually broke as I am (mine was $5). And if awful, awful movies are what you’re after, the first disc alone warrants that price (we’ll get to all that in a bit).

Even though this came out in 2013, I just found out about it recently. Guess I’ve been off my budget DVD game. It’s put out by Mill Creek, who have, over the last several years, proven themselves to be purveyors of fine, fine DVD releases. I’m not just saying that because I dream of them sending me a bunch of free crap, either; any company that releases the complete series of Hunter is automatically my friend.

The fine folks at Mill Creek are no strangers to releases such as this, either; there are several budget DVD sets of cheapie horror/sci-fi flicks put out by them. They follow a similar format, except this set is the only one to come right out and tell you that the movies contained within are gonna blow. Since the ‘genre’ of bad movies is particularly popular right now, it’s a pretty smart move on Mill Creek’s part. Hey, got me to buy it, and isn’t that the really important factor here?

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(Click on the pic for a, how do you say, super-sized view.)

I can’t help but feel this is a set geared towards fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (which as has been proven time and time again, is exactly what I am). And It’s not only because of the whole “these are bad movies you can laugh at” concept, either; a full half of the selections on here were featured on MST3K. There were a lot of bad movies on the show, yes, but considering one of the films featured here is known solely because of MST3K, well, I don’t think it’s coincidental marketing (or whatever you’d want to call it).

Though as a longtime MSTie, I tend to see allusions to the show where they weren’t intended to be, so take that for what you will.

Like so many budget DVD sets, the titles found here are limited to the realm of the public domain, which I don’t mind a bit. Sure, some of these movies have been making the rounds for decades, going back to the VHS days (I’m looking at you specifically, The Terror), but when they’re put together under the banner of “entertainingly bad films,” it all clicks in a way that they wouldn’t have otherwise. Why pretend these are something they aren’t? It’s a move I absolutely respect, though in all fairness I does loves me a good bad movie (plus that whole MSTie thing); your mileage may vary, however.

However, If I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t really agree that these are all the best of the worst. There’s a few titles that, while undoubtedly ‘bad’ movies, feel more like filler than anything. Like I said before, Mill Creek has put out other similar sets, and it just seems to me that they used up many of their “heavy hitters” already across those. Example: there’s just no reason The Creeping Terror, one of the most infamous bad movies ever, shouldn’t be on here. Keep in mind that Mill Creek did indeed get the rights to release it (contrary to popular belief, it’s not public domain), on their 12 Creature Features set, so the absence of shag carpet monsters and insane narration on The Best of the Worst is a little head scratching. I guess I can see them not wanting to repeat titles across their various sets, which I applaud, but for the films that are here and what this set purports to be overall, it still feels like a particularly glaring omission to me.

Don’t get me wrong though. While I think there could have been just a bit more refinement in the selections, I am overwhelmingly happy with the set. And besides, despite the title, this probably isn’t really intended to be the end-all be-all release of the best bad movies ever. It’s a $5-$10 bargain DVD set, after all; there’s plenty here to justify that small amount, at any rate.

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The set consists of three, single-sided discs with four movies on each one. Since many of these are pretty short, it’s not an unreasonable amount. All three discs fit in a regular-sized DVD case, on one single spindle. That means if you want to watch a disc that isn’t directly on top, you’ll have to physically remove one or two discs first, but it’s a small price to pay for such a fantastic load of crappy, crappy movies.

And with that said, lets take a brief look at the actual contents of the set, because hey, that’s what the people want, right?

(I might as well say right now that some of the movies on this set I’m more familiar with than others. Most of them I’ve seen, but some I saw looong ago; I’m not claiming to have sat down and watched every one of these exhaustively while taking notes for this. I’m just giving the straight dope on the set, you make up your own minds from there, paisanos.)

Disc One

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The menu for each disc is super simple. What you’re seeing above is basically it. The two film reels in the corners continuously spin, but that’s as close as things get to a “wow!” factor. Not that it really matters, because c’mon, when you’re getting this much bang for your buck, there comes a point when demanding even more turns you from wanting the most for your money into a nitpicky whiner. Cut that stuff out, man. (Says the guy who just complained that The Creeping Terror isn’t here.)

In terms of badness, this first disc is absolutely the roughest of the three. For anyone trying to make it through the whole thing in order, the rest will almost (almost) come as a relief after making it through this one. Disc one includes a bad movie, a really bad movie, and two legitimate contenders for worst film ever. In other words, the entire price of the set is justified in the first disc alone.

Also, all four of these movies appeared on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and I’ll say up front that it’s often strange to realize there won’t be any riffs; you’re watching these as-is. The more well-known the respective episode is, the odder it feels, and there are points where you (or at least I) will instinctively think of the appropriate riffs.

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Can you say “starting things off with a bang?” Manos: The Hands Of Fate, a film that would have been completely and utterly forgotten after its disastrous 1966 El Paso premiere had it not been for Mystery Science Theater 3000 resurrecting it and turning it into one of the most loved bad movies ever. Despite being movie one, disc one, this is really the centerpiece of The Best of the Worst, as far as I’m concerned. Mill Creek must have realized that, as the portrait of “The Master” under the credits on the back of the DVD make clear. Forget the other 11 movies on the set, Manos alone is worth the price of admission.

The beauty (ha!) of the film is that it’s just such a mess. The camera used could only film 30+ seconds at a time, making for really weird continuity. Furthermore, it was filmed silent, so all of the voices were dubbed in later (at least they didn’t go the hackneyed narration route). The capper? It was very literally made on a bet by an inexperienced El Paso, Texas fertilizer salesman (director-producer-writer-star Harold P. Warren). The plot is all over the place, and the music ranges from awkward to downright unacceptable. Basically, every aspect of the film that can be wrong, is.

But, except for a really screwed up scene during the conclusion, it’s really not a movie you can full-on hate, because it is just so utterly out there. Manos tells the tale of a family stranded at remote lodge that is in actuality the base of operations for a polygamous cult that worships “manos.” There’s “The Master” (who rarely, if ever, approves), his constantly bickering bevy of wives, a necking couple in a car that serves no purpose, and some cops that are even more useless. But the character most everyone loves is big-knee’d, shuffling, twitchy-faced, jerky-voiced Torgo (That’s him above), the caretaker of the lodge. Torgo gets his own goofy theme music and, despite technically being a bad guy, winds up becoming something of an anti-hero, even after he makes the worst pass at a woman outside of me. I have a hard time believing the movie would be so loved if it weren’t for Torgo.

I won’t even try to explain further the wonderfully bizarre circumstances surrounding this film, so let Wikipedia tell you all about it. If you like bad movies but haven’t seen Manos yet, well, it’s pretty hard to top. Like I said before, worth the price of admission alone.

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Being on a budget DVD set isn’t necessarily an indicator of public domain status, but word on the street is that this film has indeed lapsed. Which is fine by me, because this is one of the bigger surprises (for me, anyway) on the set. It’s also the newest selection on it, if you can consider 1976 “new.” The subject of one of my very favorite MST3K episodes, this is really bad (and thus, really good) 1970s sci-fi, complete with the dreary color scheme that must have colored the entire decade. It’s just ‘horrific’ enough to satisfy the masses, but just goofy enough to keep things from becoming overly depressing. Featured during the final season, it was and is perfect MST3K fodder for the Sci-Fi Channel era of the show.

Did you know that being hit in the head by a piece of meteorite (“Moon rocks? Oh wow!“) can turn you into killer lizard monster that somehow ties into Native American folklore? Well it can, and to a hapless anthropologist, it does. Also included: Johnny Longbow’s killer stew recipe, a shop that sells both coins and guns, and a tent full of old guys. Oh, and a live performance of the smash hit, “California Lady.” Is it wrong that I’m considering making an MP3 of the song for iTunes?

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Now is as good a time as any to mention that the quality of the films on the set vary from feature to feature, but the condition of the prints is overall better that many “cheapie” movie sets out there. Thus far, Track of The Moon Beast looks okay, and Manos is, well, Manos, but the print used for The Beast Of Yucca Flats is absolutely terrific. There are the occasional scratches and dust, but it’s mostly very clean, crisp and clear. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve seen the movie look better.

Which is a hollow victory, because as far as I’m concerned, it’s the worst film in the entire set. The product of Coleman Francis’ fevered mind, and just like everything else Francis set his hand to, it’s a slimy, unpleasant film. Unlike Manos, which is also grimy but also, against all odds, somehow endearing, Beast is just an ugly, ugly movie. Even star Tor Johnson, who I normally find quite entertaining, can’t save it. Say what you want about Ed Wood, Coleman Francis was an infinitely worse filmmaker. I can’t decide if this is better or worse than Francis’ other cinematic abominations, The Skydivers and Red Zone Cuba (both also featured on MST3K), but in the end, if it has Francis’ name on it, there is no genuine “better,” just different levels of “awful.”.

The plot is some tripe about a defecting Soviet scientist (I hope can you buy Tor Johnson as a scientist, because that is exactly what the film posits) that gets caught in a nuclear blast and is turned into a mindless killer. Even the narrator’s deathless non-sequitur of “Flag on the moon; how did it get there?” can’t provide enough comedic momentum to sustain viewers through the 50+ minute (yes, really) running time.

Oh, the narrator? Yeah, this movie has no real dialogue; it’s almost entirely narrated (by Coleman himself), and what in-movie speech there is isn’t actually synchronized with the film; it’s spoken when mouths aren’t clearly visible or even on-screen at all. The Creeping Terror pulled that crap too, but there it wound up funny. Here though, it just makes you resent life and the fact that something like this could not only be made but also released to an unsuspecting public.

I hate this movie and can’t say enough bad things about it, which of course means it’s a perfect addition to the proceedings, simply because of how sickeningly, jaw-droppingly bad it is.
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After the soul-crushing saga that is The Beast Of Yucca Flats, Eegah almost comes as a respite, and rest assured, that’s not a statement I make lightly, because there aren’t many instances where Eegah can ever be seen as a respite.

Long story short: a caveman still exists in a California desert, he develops an attraction to a teenage girl, kidnaps her father, kidnaps her, they both get saved by the girl’s guitar-wielding boyfriend (though he doesn’t save them with the guitar; that would be just too much!), the caveman follows the whole lot to a pool party, and gets shotted dead. The end.

Eegah is frequently listed as one of the worst films of all-time, a rating that I find just a little overrated. Oh, it’s really bad alright, and there’s an icky shaving scene, an even ickier implication that there was some off-screen romancin’ afoot between the teenage girl and the guy who plays her dad, and an even ickier moment when the girl’s dad basically tells her to put up with Eegah’s affections. There’s even some superfluous songs by the boyfriend (played by Arch Hall Jr., who y’all will recall I met; Arch is a very cool guy and a lot of fun to talk to)!

But, even with all that, I never saw Eegah rising to the levels of near-unwatchability such as, well, the previous movie on this set did. For the most part, it’s 1960’s drive-in schlock, and while it’s certainly terrible, it’s not that terrible. I have a hard time hating anything like this from the decade where, at least on the surface, it’s all meant to be relatively innocent. I guess.

Watch out for snakes!

Disc Two

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Disc two is probably the least painful in the set. Only one movie on it (The Atomic Brain) is gut-wrenchingly terrible. Unfortunately, as far as that whole “movies so bad they’re good” vibe goes, it’s also where the set loses some steam, and from here on out, things are a bit hit-or-miss. The fun-factor never goes away completely, but after that powerhouse (ha!) of a first disc, well, it’s a hard act to follow.

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The Ape Man! Starring Bela Lugosi! Bela is always a plus, and it allows Mill Creek to draw on his name on the back cover. I think Scared To Death may have been a better choice as far as “bad-good” goes (and it’s a color movie, to boot), but I was actually kinda pleased to see The Ape Man here. Though in all honesty, I just kinda skimmed this one here and I don’t recall seeing it in the past, so maybe that’s an unfounded viewpoint.

The plot is formula stuff. Lugosi is a mad scientist whose experiments cause him to turn into the titular character. It’s a poverty row Lugosi flick, though I’m the first to admit that I have a soft spot for those.

And really, that points to my main area of interest with this one: after Dracula succeeded in stereotyping him somethin’ fierce, by the 1940s Lugosi was forced to take on mega-cheap horror/sci-fi flicks not unlike this one. It’s a good example of his film work at the time, to see a legitimate movie legend reduced to movies of this caliber. But, it’s usually fun to see him in anything, and even when it’s a by-the-numbers affair like this, his magnetism can drive the film further than a different actor may have. Plus, the low-budget affairs of the 1930s and 1940s, while obviously not comparable to Universal’s output, can often be pretty entertaining time wasters.

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The Amazing Transparent Man, another flick that popped up on MST3K. I first saw it on The Ghoul, waaay back in 1999 or 2000 (I still have my recording of the episode somewhere). Truth be told, it’s another feature that I think really isn’t that bad. I don’t think anyone will claim it to be good, but it’s relatively painless.

The title makes it sound more spectacular than it really is. It’s actually just a low-budget twist on the classic “invisible fella” formula, only this time with a mad scientist trying to create a slew of invisible baddies as part of a world domination scheme. He enlists a criminal to act as a guinea pig and steal the needed ingredients to complete the scheme.

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The last MST’d movie on the set, and whoo-boy is it a baddie. This is the low-point of disc two, and it absolutely deserves a place of honor in this collection.

The Atomic Brain is some hokum about a decrepit old woman that wants to switch brains with a younger dame. Eternal youth or some crap like that. Eventually, someone’s brain ends up in the head of a cat somehow. I don’t know, this one causes my eyes to glaze over pretty bad, even on MST3K.

The real eyebrow raiser here is just how sexist the movie is towards women, especially since it is woman as the catalyst for all of these shenanigans.

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First off, it was a pain trying to find a good ‘action’ screencap for this one; I was never satisfied with the choices, and even now I’m really not all that happy with my pick. It’s an axe crashing through a wall is what is.

The plot is one of those “fake crime turning into a real one” deals, as a woman trying to scheme her way into a family’s will leads to some very real axe murders.

The really interesting thing about Dementia 13 isn’t so much what it is (though it’s a fairly violent movie for the early-1960s) but rather who was behind it: none other than Francis Ford Coppola! You know, The Godfather guy. Mr. Apocalypse Now himself! And believe it or not, this was his very first ‘legit’ movie! I wouldn’t say it gives much indication of the esteem that would later befall Coppola, though it’s really not all that bad, but it’s most definitely cool to see one of his super early efforts.

Disc Three

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Do you mind if I power through this last disc? For as much as I like The Best of the Worst, my enthusiasm for this post is waning fast. Maybe it’s for the best, as in my opinion the last disc is the least interesting of the three. Still, there is entertainment to be had here, though in the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t ever seen the last two movies on this disc in their entirety, because frankly, I just don’t care. Does that cause me to lose my reviewer credentials? I don’t care about that, either.

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I first saw Unknown World on Son of Ghoul, and it’s less of a “really bad” movie and more of a “painfully dull” movie.

Having been made in the 1950s, nuclear war and whatnot was a particularly major concern, and here, some scientists have devised a tunneling device to burrow deep into the earth to escape said calamity, should it occur. They do just that, and then…nothing much happens. Well, things happen, but none of them are all that interesting. I mean, burrowing into the earth should provide just as much fodder as an outer space plot could, and yet, the movie completely misses the mark.

No, I don’t enjoy this one, not one bit.

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The Terror, a movie that I have tried multiple times to like. No kidding, I want to enjoy this one so much, and it just never, never happens. The saturated colors, Gothic scenery, and stars Boris Karloff AND Jack Nicholson (he’s probably pretty proud of this movie) seem like an absolute recipe for a good time, and yet, it just never does it for me. Furthermore, it’s a film I just can’t get away from. I have it so many times over on various budget movie DVDs/tapes/sets, and even recordings on both The Ghoul and Son of Ghoul, and still it only leaves me chilly frosty cold.

Set in the 1800s, Nicholson is a Napoleonic soldier (the role he was born to play!) that winds up at Karloff’s castle and right into a ghostly scenario. Karloff is being haunted by the ghost of a woman he killed, which in turn is under the control of a witch, and then some stuff happens and it ends.

Really, aside from a couple scenes of rotting corpses and a relatively graphic falcon (?) attack, there’s not a whole lot memorable about this one, and truth be told, I have a hard time following the plot. Rumor has it that this was made in only a couple of days, and, well, it shows.

Man I want to like this movie!

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Don’t get too excited, the title seems more lurid than the actual movie, though you’ll be pleased to know it stars Uncle Fester. Some crap about a scientist in Mexico creating animals from humans or humans from animals or I don’t even know. The movie is public domain, I don’t have to worry about providing a satisfactory summary. Here, go to Wikipedia and learn all about it!

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And finally, no bad movie collection would be complete without a contribution from Jerry Warren, and here it is. The quality looks like it comes from a VHS tape and some of the dialogue is unintelligible. It sounds like it’s a suckier version of Unknown World, though I refuse to take a closer look at the actual movie to back those claims up. Here, Wikipedia is yo’ frien’ again.

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I love this set. I really do. The mere sight of it fills me with joy. Yeah, it kinda runs out of steam for me by the end, but the concept alone is just so cool that I don’t really mind. It’s absolutely worth the couple of bucks it fetches wherever you may find it, so yeah, if it crosses your path, I’d say give it a go.

Hey, Mill Creek, how about a Volume 2? You’ve already got a guaranteed sale in me, and isn’t that what it’s really all about?

(Here is Mill Creek’s official website and here is the product page for this set.)