Tag Archives: horror hosts

Big Chuck & Lil’ John Promotional Flying Disc (Circa-1993)

Look chief, when I said back in February that I wanted to spotlight more Cleveland television memorabilia, I wasn’t lying. I certainly like seeing original broadcasts, or obtaining promotional photos, or finding vintage print ads, but here’s my hidden secret: one of my great passions in this hobby is collecting the, as I have deemed it, “solid memorabilia.” That is, mugs and glassware, pins, shirts, hats, or anything randomly emblazoned with the names/stations/logos of Northeast Ohio broadcasting. For whatever reason, I place these types of items in a different mental category than I do paper ware and video tape. So there.

Today’s subject fits my weird “solid memorabilia” ideal and new decree that I spotlight such on my stupid dumb blog to a tee, because this, this is legit. Dig this: it’s a vintage (from somewhere in the early-1990s) promotional flying disc for WJW TV-8’s The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show. Yep, the iconic late night horror hosts/comedy duo of everlasting Northeast Ohio fame had their own promotional toy. Neato! As you can see, it features their classic caricatures and the old school WJW logo, all printed on a flashy green disc. Rest assured, this is exactly the kind of memorabilia I’m always on the lookout for!

I’m not totally positive on when it’s from, mainly because I don’t know how long they were pitching these. They were definitely pushing them in 1993, and thus that’s the “circa” date I’m going with, but I’m unaware of when they were first produced for sure, nor do I know when they stopped making them. So yeah, circa-1993.

I’m also not completely sure as to how the common dude-on-da-street could obtain these. I’d imagine they were sold regularly, probably at personal appearances and maybe at stores around town, but don’t quote me on any of that; it’s merely a guess on my part. I do know that they were given out as prizes for correct trivia answers on their show. That is, to studio audience members lucky enough to be called on and lucky enough to have a satisfactory answer to a given question, not to mention lucky enough to be in attendance at a show taping in the first place. If these flying discs were uniquely given out as show prizes, well, that’s just plain cool, and not something easily obtainable, either then or now, I’d assume.

Also, it’s important to note that it’s not a “Frisbee,” but a “flying disc.” Y’see, “Frisbee” is a Wham-O product and a trademarked name, but like “Band-Aid,” it’s often used to describe all similar products. But no, this is technically speaking a “flying disc.”

There were actually two of these discs out at the same time: a large (standard-size) disc, pink in color, and a smaller green one. The smaller variant is what you’re seeing above; I haven’t picked up the big one yet, mainly because I’m at the mercy of what comes up for sale and enters my line of vision. Plus, you know, there’s that whole scraping-together-enough-money thing, too.

The reason for the two different sizes? Well, obviously the big one signified Big Chuck, and the small one signified Lil’ John! That’s actually a pretty great gimmick, one that fits the duo perfectly.

So, not a long post, but then, there’s only so much I can say about a 25 (?) year old flying disc. Oh, and happy St. Patrick’s Day, by the way; the disc is green, so it works here, right?

Ghoulardifest 2016!

“Hey, why’d it take so long to post this, North Video Guy?!”

I know, I know, this is a belated update. For the fourth year in a row, it’s time to cover my trip to the annual Ghoulardifest convention on this silly blog. BUT, I didn’t want to just do the same exact thing I’d done for the previous three re-caps again. Soooo, I took video there. Oh how I took video. A first for this site!

Now theoretically, videos should have made getting this post up quickly even easier, which would totally be in line with my usual M.O. of posting these reviews within a day or two, or at least the week of, my visit. So, why did it take so long this time? Simply put, I had audio issues with several of the videos – to the point where I couldn’t even use them. Don’t get me wrong, I could have posted them here, but I like to give the impression of having some semblance of professionalism (HA!), and thus, I just wasn’t comfortable with doing that. Heck, even the videos I can use aren’t always perfect, audio-wise.

You have no idea how incredibly disheartened I was by this. Seriously, more than once I came this close to just scrapping the whole re-cap this year; I just couldn’t work up the energy to write after this development. I felt (and feel) that I was letting the people down that were kind enough to take the time to film with me – but then, the same feeling applied to putting up a substandard video, too. So, since I can still use screencaps (where needed), I will cautiously proceed. Just several weeks late. (It didn’t help matters that I’ve also been fairly busy these past few weeks.)

All that said, if you were someone I filmed with whose segment is absent here, please accept my apologies; fate dealt us both a crushing blow!

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Sunday, October 30, 2016: I woke up tired. I mean, your pal me was draggin’. Y’see, I awoke to a chilly, cloudy, rainy day, and while I love a good overcast weekend, in this case I knew such things would never do. Add in not enough sleep, and a bedside clock that had reset due to a brief power outage during the preceding night, and, well, it wasn’t an auspicious start to my day.

Why the grogginess? Because the day before was bright, beautiful, and fairly warm for this time of year. In short, it was gorgeous. But, unfortunately, when the weather changes, especially when it changes rapidly, I have a habit of getting the grogs. In those instances, I rarely feel like doing much of anything. And yet, this particular Sunday, I would accept no groggin’. Well, I mean, it was there, but I did the best I could to ignore it.

That’s because it was time for Ghoulardifest! Yep, Big Chuck & Lil’ John’s annual convention celebrating the Cleveland icon was once again upon us, and like every year since 2011, I was there for the Sunday edition. I look forward to this year-round, but especially when fall hits Northeast Ohio; the season just wouldn’t feel right without the ‘Fest!

Like the previous three years, the convention was held at the plush LaVilla Conference & Banquet Center. My photo above makes it look inappropriately foreboding; overcast day and all. Trust me, the LaVilla is beautiful.

Since the inception of this blog, I’ve covered my annual trip to the show. For those so inclined, you can check out my coverage of the 2013, 2014 and 2015 shows here. You can watch my writing skills gradually increase! Or, read ’em backwards and watch my writing skills decrease! It’s fun for the whole family!

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There are some downsides to only going on the third (and last) day of the convention. Jan Jones, Tim Taylor and Robin Swoboda, local legends all, were in attendance – on Saturday. Also, I missed my buddy Mike Olszewski, which hurts me deep. Furthermore, the Cavs Championship trophy was supposed to be on display all three days, but if it was there Sunday, I sure didn’t see it.

(Fun fact: I played basketball, poorly, in the fourth grade, and I later went to high school with LeBron; my first two years were his last two years. So, do enough mental gymnastics and you can pretty much thank me for the Cavs winning it all! You’re welcome, Cleveland! I will now sit back and anxiously await your accolades!)

‘Course, that’s not to say there’s nothing going on by the last two day; there’s cool merch and celebrities as far as the eye can see no matter what day you attend. As expected, my brother (who always comes with) and I had a terrific time – and yes, I’m already jonesing for next year. If my merchandise haul was substantially less than previous visits (and it was), it was only because I’d bought most of the stuff that strikes my fancy already. And yet, I left satisfied nevertheless; Ghoulardifest, no matter what you buy, who you meet or what you do, is always an experience, and this year was no exception.

Above: The ever-terrific shirts table, which lines a good portion of the left side of the main room. One of my top favorite buys this year came from these tables; we’ll see that momentarily.

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Like other similarly-themed conventions, there’s memorabilia everywhere you look. Toys, games, records, CDs, DVDs, movie posters, glassware, you name it, there’s a good chance it’s there.

Indeed, as I’ve mentioned in previous re-caps, Ghoulardi is really just one facet of Ghoulardifest; obviously Ernie Anderson’s legendary horror host and Big Chuck & Lil’ John are the main draws, but Ghoulardifest is also a celebration of horror and sci-fi in general, horror hosts as a whole, music (particularly 1960s music; The Beatles and such), and other areas of pop culture. Even if someone wasn’t enamored by the main draws (yeah, right), there’s still plenty to take in at Ghoulardifest.

Above: My attempt to show off the various wares in one all-encompassing shot. I wasn’t at all successful, but you can see the kind of cool stuff available there. I’m diggin’ that Addams Family 45!

That’s my brother photo-bombin’ to the far left. Thaaaaaaanks Luke.

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Aww, Son of Ghoul, you wacky guy! It continuously blows my mind that the guy I grew up watching now kinda sorta knows me – thanks in no small part to all the crap I’ve sent to his show over the years. Plus the interview. Plus Monsterfestmania. So, is it too early to go around proclaiming him my best friend in the whole wide world? That might be a bit premature, but I am considering it….

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I’ve mentioned this before, but one thing that endlessly impresses me about our local celebrities is just how fan-friendly they all are. These people not only give their fans the time of day, but also truly go the extra mile for them. Son of Ghoul, absolutely, as well as Big Chuck & Lil’ John, who you are helpfully seeing above.

Case in point: They (naturally) have helpers, but these guys all sell their own wares themselves, and they all are very free and giving with their time, answering all questions, taking pictures, and so on. Northeast Ohioans are fortunate to call people like this their own.

Much to my chagrin, Chuck & John had sold out of their new “Top 20 Skits” DVD that very morning, which was a fan-voted project. (Yes, I contributed my picks.) I was really looking forward to picking up this DVD, but I knew it was going to be a hot-ticket item, so what can you do? I thought about throwing a tantrum, until I remembered that Big Chuck & Lil’ John are two of my heroes and that probably wouldn’t look too good to them.

Speaking of Big Chuck & Lil’ John…

 

 

 

I totally filmed a quick, mostly off-the-cuff bit with them! This, needless to say, ranks up there with the proudest achievements of my life.

Backstory: The video doesn’t lie; Big Chuck has endorsed the Empire Window Company for quite awhile. The commercial for them in which his Stash character falls from a ladder is positively ingrained in my memory, and that ad goes back to at least 1991 – and it certainly aired for a long time afterwards. So, when print ads featuring Chuck began showing up in the mail a few years ago, I really did begin cutting them out and saving them. It started out as just a funny thing to progressively hang more and more of on the fridge, but after awhile, the action became something that felt more like a duty. Result? I have a ton of these, far more than what’s seen in the video.

Eventually, the joke arose between my brother and I that it would be funny if I brought them all up to Chuck and asked him for a free window in exchange, though of course these ads aren’t coupons, and no such offer actually exists anyway. And thus, the genesis of this bit was born. I naturally briefly explained to Big Chuck & Lil’ John what I wanted to film beforehand, but it was more of an outline than anything, and truth be told, I only expected a quick, few-second video – which would have been more than enough for me. But MAN, these guys are total pros; they just completely took the idea and ran with it, and absolutely brilliantly at that!

Because the last thing I ever want to do is step on anybody’s toes for any reason, prior to posting I did indeed contact the Empire Window Company to make sure everything would be fine with them regarding this bit. They simply couldn’t have been any nicer; no kidding, they were just wonderful. The Empire Window Company gets my legitimate, heartiest recommendation. If you need windows, siding, doors, or what have you, head to the official Empire Window Company website!

Some of the dreaded audio issues I mentioned at the start of this post reared their head here. Not so much in the Chuck & John portion, but rather, I wasn’t quite happy with my intro on the video. I had to take whatever measures I could, and therefore, you’ll notice (especially since I outright say so) that I dubbed over the audio in the first half of the video above. It was necessary, and while a bit glaring, I don’t think it hurts the final product; indeed, nearly a month later, and this bit still cracks me up! Some way, somehow, this happened!

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Unfortunately, no amount of dubbing could save my bit with Son of Ghoul, and thus, you only get this screencap. This hurts me deep.

The premise was that SOG knows me, we’re pals, we’re tight like Gs, and therefore when I go up to him, it’s like two old friends meeting. Of course, the punchline is that SOG has no idea who I am, he stares at me blankly, and then calls for security to throw me out. It’s the funniest thing in the world, and I can’t use a second of it.

It should be mentioned that these audio issues weren’t really a fault on the part of me or my brother, who was filming. Maybe I could (and should) have spoken up a bit here and there, but the main thing was that it was just loud in there. This was not a fault of the venue or anyone else, but between the live music and the crowd, well, it all tended to drown out the microphone of my brother’s cellphone. But, it is what it is.

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Same deal when I semi-interviewed Jungle Bob Tuma. (His official website) Like Son of Ghoul, JB knows me, we’re buddies, and it really, really pains me that I can’t use this video. We even stepped out into the hallway for this, and yet, you can still hear the music inside more than us. Again, it’s not anybody’s fault, it’s just how things worked out. Had this been in a more-controlled environment, the results would have been different, but when you’re filming things on the fly, well, you take your chances.

This was less of a skit and more of a chat; JB explained why he didn’t bring any animals on this last day of the show; it being the final day, and there being celebrations afterwards, it just wasn’t a good idea to bring them, especially if they’d need to be left in the car after the show. (I made a crack about winding up with a deep fried tarantula if the animals were brought into the restaurant that was practically Letterman-worthy… or not.)

You know what’s awesome about Jungle Bob? If you watch him on The Son of Ghoul Show or catch one of his appearances, he’s just as engaging in-person as he is during his performances. The man is a born entertainer, and besides being wildly informative about animals, he tells absolutely great stories. Jungle Bob is the man.

 

 

 

 

Hey, another real, actual video! It’s about time!

My buddies from Monsterfestmania, Mike Mace and Dave Binkley, were on hand to promote their show, The Weirdness Really Bad Movie. Even though I had met them in-person just a few months prior, this really was like an old-friends-catching-up sorta thing. It was great. Let the video above tell the rest of the story!

Fun fact: Mike himself was on American Pickers just this past week! Cool winnins!

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This was certainly the wildest video I took. The screencap just doesn’t do it justice.

What started out as a chat with Bill “Greatest Voice Ever” Ward (he was the WJW TV-8 announcer for years) quickly devolved into just a general screwing around when Teri Wells, daughter of Bob “Hoolihan” Wells popped in. It was an absolute riot, climaxing in Ward’s dead-on Clint Eastwood impression. And Teri was just the nicest.

Unfortunately, this more than any other video was hurt, audio-wise. Due to the activity around us, large chunks of it are incomprehensible, and to make matters worse, poor Teri had laryngitis. It’s a real shame, because it was fast, funny and freewheeling.

That said, if you ever have the chance to speak with Teri Wells or Bill Ward, do so, because man they are just great.

 

A quick bit with Bob “Hoolihan” Wells!

Unlike previous years, we wound up staying at Ghoulardifest until pretty much the very end. There was much to see and do, not to mention filming videos, that it took a whole lot more time than I was anticipating. Still, I was able to catch up with Hoolie just as he was getting ready to go on stage for the show-closing group photo. It’s a brief video, but it’s awesome. Why? Cause Hoolihan.

Backstory: During the old “Soulman” skits from The Hoolihan & Big Show, Wells was always the narrator, and oftentimes he’d let out a great, dismayed “Ohhhhh Noooooo!!!” that I endlessly love. Thus, I asked him to give me one such “Ohhhhh Noooooo!!!” there in person, but because we were in such a hurry, I forgot to reference what I was talking about! You can see my kinda-goof in the video above.

Even though he doesn’t live in Northeast Ohio anymore, just like everyone else involved in this sort of thing, Bob Wells is always the nicest, most generous guy you could hope to meet. He’s good people!

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And yes, we did indeed stop by the nearby Big Boy for the annual post-Ghoulardifest meal. Super Big Boy, you are a burger among burgers. And the fries! I’m not a big fry-eater, but Big Boy’s are always fantastic! Also, our waiter was phenomenal and got a well-deserved monster tip.

Look at that pic above. Big Boy has no qualms with the oncoming rain. Dude’s been around forever; you think a little water is gonna phase him? Nope!

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Like I said before, my merchandise haul was substantially less that previous years. That doesn’t mean I didn’t pick up some cool winnins though, cause I did.

Above: Another Son of Ghoul DVD to add to the collection (The Death Kiss), a Ghoulardi bumper sticker (at a buck a pop, I bought a few), and a Big Chuck & Lil’ John mug I’m this sure I don’t already own. Not that you can ever have too many, of course.

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But this, this was the big buy of the year: A Ghoulardi shirt celebrating the Cleveland Cavaliers’ monumental win in the NBA Finals! I’m a huge Cavs fan, so I flipped when I saw this! Forget buying just one; I bought two! One of the faces of Cleveland, pitching the historic win that was a true victory for all of Northeast Ohio? It does not get any cooler than that! I like wearing sports shirts, and I like wearing Ghoulardi shirts, so this was directly up my alley! I love it.

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And with that, the Ghoulardifest 2016 re-cap comes to a close. Was it worth the wait? I think so! Well, I hope so. I’m ready for Ghoulardifest 2017, either way!

Until next year, LaVilla! (Hopefully, the weather will be more fitting for the event!)

Monsterfestmania 2016!

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This past weekend, July 29 & 30, 2016, marked the first Monsterfestmania convention, with hopefully many more to come. Held at Quaker Square in downtown Akron, this was practically a hop, skip and jump away from me. I mean, if I was feeling particularly adventurous, I could have walked there, had the mood struck me. I didn’t go that far, but I did make it to the show for both days.

“Oh boy, a big ol’ convention recap post! I love these!”

I naively believe everyone is saying those exact words right at this very moment. And indeed, there’s a precedence for these here at the blog; we’ve visited the annual Ghoulardifest convention not once, not twice, but three times at this point, and yes, there’s plans for a fourth one come October.

This post, however, is not just another Ghoulardifest recap under a different name. Oh sure, there are the pictures with celebrities, and I got some cool loot I’ll show off with so much bravado, but this time around, it was all accompanied by a level of nervousness on my part that, quite frankly, is unprecedented. I don’t really get nervous in anticipation of meeting big-time famous people and whatnot anymore, but I sure did this time.

Why’s that? Because this time, I was actually a part of the show.

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Yep, I was a panel presenter! That’s me to the far-left above, doing my thing in my best Sonny Crockett jacket and stubble. Hey, if I’m gonna be in front of people, I’m gonna look like I just rolled off the set of Miami Vice, by golly!

But why get nervous? I don’t really have a problem with being in front of large groups of people; on the contrary, I relish it. No, any anxiety on my part was due solely to the fact that, frankly, I had just never done anything like this before. This was an entirely new experience for me. And furthermore, at any other convention, I skip the panels; I prefer to meet celebrities face-to-face, and besides, I’m usually too busy blowing my frighteningly limited funds on things I probably don’t need. So, I had descriptive accounts of what would take place, but I had no first-hand knowledge of how all this would play out.

Also, even though I don’t mind being in front of a crowd, I was concerned about what I would say. I’ve seen enough thousand-year-old broadcasts to know that stumbling over words, or worse yet, falling into silence, can be the kiss of death for this sort of thing. There’s no better way to look like a total amateur and lose a crowd right quick. Now, I did have notes with me as a guide, and in most cases I had enough knowledge about the subjects to where I didn’t really need them. Still, with this being my first foray into the world of panels, I neither wanted to appear too unprepared, nor appear too cocky.

Everyone I talked to told me I was just fine, and I was generally pretty happy with my performance (which is actually a telling statement, since I tend to be my own worst critic), though my sense of humor didn’t really fly with the audience (more on that in due time). If I am fortunate enough to be asked back next year, now that I’ve got a little experience under my belt, I feel I’d do even better.

You know what’s really cool about being asked to introduce the panels? It’s basically all because of this blog. Okay, I’ve known two of the guys behind the show itself for years (we’ll see them in a bit) via Time Traveler Records, but it took more than just acquaintances to be invited to do something like this. My high-level of interest in Northeast Ohio horror movie hosts, and my ability to babble about them online, has paid off yet again!

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Hey, dig this: I made the official website! Cool winnins! Stuff like this makes me feel like a big man. I sure hoped I lived up to the promises made in that first paragraph! I did a short intro and outro to each panel, but they really sort of ran themselves; these were all pros I was dealing with here, so there wasn’t much actual ‘moderation’ needed on my part, aside from making sure one panel ended in time for the following panel to begin.

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We’ll get to the panel aspects in just a moment, but for now, first things first: Monsterfestmania as a whole.

You know, I don’t think I’ve been to Quaker Square since, man, probably 2000. That was the last time the Frightvision convention was held there. I had my memories of the place, but I had forgotten just how nice it is inside. Lots and lots of room for vendors, and the two “side rooms” were big enough to fit plenty of people, but not so large that people in the back would be lost. (One room was used for panels, the other for screening films.)

The above picture (as well as the next two) was taken early on the first day, and right from the start, it was obvious a LOT of people had gotten tables. There was stuff for sale as far as the eye could see! And of course, there were the celebrity tables, too; look close and you’ll see Felix “Cousin Itt” Silla (we’ll see more of him in a bit) was captured in the shot above! This was by accident, but it was a happy accident; Felix is a cool guy!

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Another shot of the main convention area, obviously. This was to the far-left when viewed coming from the main entrance. To the left of the picture you can see Dale Kay, and towards the right, internet horror hosts Tarr & Fether. Jungle Bob, with his back unknowingly to the camera, is in the middle. We’ll see more of all of them in a bit, too.

Odd side note: approximately three people are going to get this reference, but the carpeting absolutely reminds me of the floor in the last section of Double Dragon II. Look here if you don’t believe me. I kept looking around for a Big Boss Willy to pummel, but he never showed.

My mind works in really, really weird ways, doesn’t it?

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A shot more towards the back, in the middle of the main space. CW was the sponsor for the show, and not only were they running a swanky commercial for it in the weeks leading up to the big day(s), but they also had displays for CW programming (Supergirl, above) and a cool spinny wheel that yielded sweet, sweet free prizes. My brother, who was also helping out both days, won a copy of Goosebumps on DVD/Blu-ray the first day and a pack of King of Queens playing cards the second. Not realizing I was eligible, I only spun on the second day. I got a see-through tote bag.

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So anyway, my panel presentations. That’s where I spent about 75% of my time at Monsterfestmania. And you know, the fact that I got to hobnob with some genuinely big names in the field in such a ‘close’ way, it still blows my mind. Sure, I already knew Mike & Jan Olszewski, Jungle Bob and Keven “Son of Ghoul” Scarpino, but I had never interacted with them like this. It’s a great honor to be up in front of a crowd with people like that. Just like the official website announcement, it makes me feel like a big man.

Above is the first panel of the first day, and my first panel of any kind in any sort of capacity. And it featured big-time author and horror host-expert Michael Monahan! What a way to start!

When it comes to horror hosts, Monahan is basically the final word on the subject; he’s a legitimate font of information on the genre. Ever read the American Scary book, or see the American Scary documentary? Then you’re familiar with Michael Monahan’s expertise. Indeed, I *love* my copy of American Scary; if it’s not the end-all, be-all of horror host books, it’s certainly in the running. Don’t have it? Pick up a copy today!

(Michael Monahan is a prolific author, and he’s certainly written more than just that – check his work out on Amazon!)

Monahan’s panel consisted of his relating the early years of horror hosting, how it came to be a ‘thing,’ and how it played out over the decades. It was a fascinating talk, and about mid-way through the presentation, he brought out David Ivey, who did artwork and cartoons for The Ghoul Show back in the day – how cool is that?! Ivey related stories of working on the show, which were also fascinating.

(Above, Michael Monahan is the one seated on the right, David Ivey standing on the left.)

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Next up: Jungle Bob’s animal show! Jung! My buddy!

It’s funny; I basically grew up watching Jungle Bob present animals on The Ghoul Show, and then later The Son of Ghoul Show, but I had never actually seen him “in action,” putting on one of his animal presentations. Man, he has it down. I mean, he’s been doing this sort of thing for nearly 30 years, so of course he does. It goes without saying that his animal shows are immensely entertaining; really, they’re a lot of fun. If you’ve been looking for a special guest for that birthday party, JB is a great choice! (Check out his official website here. Buy his terrific book while you’re at it.)

There were a lot of kids in attendance for JB’s show, and boy, is he great with them. I guess you don’t do this sort of thing for 30 years without being good with kids though, huh? He kept them engaged, he was funny, he was informative, he told stories. In short, vintage classic Jungle Bob.

These panels only had about 50 minute allotments, give or take, so JB didn’t have time for a ton of animals, but he did bring a couple cockroaches (including one that hissed), a ball python, and my favorite, a young alligator snapping turtle that kept his mouth menacingly open most of the time. Good stuff!

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My last panel of the first day was “Horror Hosts Reborn,” with Dale Kay of Eerie House (formerly of Kreepy Kastle) heading up a group of online hosts, discussing what opportunities, detriments, and so on that the internet brings the genre. That’s Kay to the far right. Next to him are hosts Tarr & Fether, Fritz the Nite Owl and his producer, and at the end, Mike Mace of The Weirdness Really Bad Movie. The other host of Weirdness, Dave Binkley, was actually at the other end of the table, next to Kay. You saw him earlier in that other shot I used from this panel, and you’ll see him again in a bit, but it looks like I goofed and accidentally cut him out of this shot. I’m sorry Dave!

It was a pretty neat discussion, and since this was the last panel of the day, I let it run well beyond the allotted 50 minutes – it had gained so much momentum by that point that cutting in and ending it would have been incredibly awkward, and besides, I was into it. Internet hosts don’t always get the props they deserve, but there’s a lot that goes into those shows; it was nice to hear all about them from the people that regularly make them happen.

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The next day. You’ll notice I am now wearing my official Monsterfestmania shirt under my Sonny Crockett jacket. Update your diaries accordingly.

Mike Olszewski kicked off the day with a talk on the early days of local television, which, if you’re familiar with him, you know he’s pretty much the authority on the subject, and the stories he tells are nothing short of enthralling. That’s not an exaggeration on my part, either; if you have an interest in this sort of thing, you owe it to yourself to pick up something, anything, written by him.

Mike spent nearly as much time in the panel room as I did Saturday. There were four panels that day, and he was there for four of them. For this first one, his wife Jan (who is also just the greatest) did a funny bit where she stood in the crowd and said she’d only interject to correct Mike!

Speaking of humor, yeah, my jokes didn’t really fly with the crowd. Not that I went up there and did stand-up or anything, but I did want to keep things light, you know? For this panel, I mentioned the two books Mike & Jan wrote (Cleveland TV Tales, volumes 1 & 2), and quickly noted that a piece of my Superhost interview was included in the second book. According to me, I said this “puts it up there with Tom Sawyer as the greatest literary work of mankind” or something along those lines. It got like one laugh – from my brother.

The day prior, as I was introducing Michael Monahan, I briefly stated who I was and why I was up there, and when talking about the blog here, I said something like “Google me, check me out, and you’ll come away feeling better about your life!” Yeah, zero reaction. Okay, the crowd ain’t gonna get my humor, gotcha!

(I wasn’t really embarrassed by my failure to elicit Johnny Carson-style laughs during my intros; if anything, *I* found it really, really funny! Though, my planned rip-off of Carnac for next year, should I be invited back, is now effectively nixed.)

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Next up: The Ghoulardi Tribute panel, with Michael Monahan, Son of Ghoul, Mike Olszewski, and comics legend Tony Isabella. I wish I actually had a working knowledge of comic books so that I could have had a conversation with Tony, but aside from liking Batman and Superman, I, uh, don’t.

It was a fun panel, talking about the influence Ghoulardi had on anything and everything ever. Much of it was familiar to me already, but hearing it from the authorities on the subject, that’s awesome.

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And so, that brought me to the panel I was perhaps most nervous about: The Addams Family presentation, hosted by Ivonna Cadaver (of Youtoo America’s Macabre Theater). You see, I had more than a passing knowledge on everything up to this point, and while I was familiar with Ivonna and her show, my knowledge on The Addams Family is relatively lacking. No knock on the show whatsoever, but I was always, uh, sorta in the Grampa camp.

I needn’t have worried; as I had discovered already, these panels basically run themselves. Those are pros up there onstage, after all. And boy, this one was a LOT of fun, not only because of who was involved, but because this time around, I was really learning things I hadn’t known prior.

And listen to this power line-up: Ivonna Cadaver herself, leading a discussion with Lisa Loring (“Wednesday Addams”) and Felix Silla (“Cousin Itt”). It was funny, entertaining, informative, just a fantastic presentation all around. This one ran a bit shorter than the others, but you know what? The pacing turned out to be perfect. They covered a lot of ground and even got to audience questions, and it never felt rushed or forced or anything other than natural reminiscing. It was great.

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One thing about Monsterfestmania that was heavily promoted in the lead-up to the actual show was Son of Ghoul’s 30th anniversary. Certainly you’ll recall my contribution to the celebration back in June. Well, much of Monsterfestmania was focused on that. Indeed, the fourth panel on the last day (and the last real panel; there was a costume contest held in the room afterwards, but that, needless to say, wasn’t quite the same thing) was a “grand finale” of sorts, focusing entirely on Son of Ghoul’s 30 continuous years as a horror host.

This panel was, man, it was just perfect. It was a wonderful summation of just why SOG is so beloved by Northeast Ohioans. And, if it turns out to be the last real “30th anniversary bang,” what a terrific capper it was. Headed up by Michael Monahan (who told a few jokes as he kicked the panel off following my intro – of course everyone laughed at him) and Mike Olszewski, with the man himself as guest of honor, it was just a wonderful 1+ hour presentation.

For the most part, it didn’t stray too far from the format of the other panels: some video clips, a discussion on SOG’s achievement, some reminiscing, even some great stories about Fidge. It was all very entertaining and a worthy tribute to SOG.

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But, it was the ‘climax’ of the panel that just put it over the top, taking it from great and putting it solidly into unforgettable territory. Michael Savene, one of the guys behind Monsterfestmania as a whole, joined the panel and, along with Monahan and Olszewski, presented SOG with some truly remarkable gifts: 1) A letter of congratulations, on White House stationary, signed by the President. 2) A letter from Senator Sherrod Brown. 3) A proclamation from Akron Mayor Daniel Horrigan proclaiming June 30, 2016 “Son of Ghoul Day.” 4) A classy lifetime achievement plaque from Monsterfestmania. How great is that?!

I think SOG was genuinely touched to be honored in such a way. How could someone not be? It was just a fantastic, momentous, once-in-a-lifetime event, perfectly commemorating a 30-years-and-counting run that, in all likelihood, will never be equaled – or topped. And to be a part of this tribute in some way, it’s something I am extremely proud of. Even if I had done nothing else this past weekend, this moment alone was worth any anxiety on my part.

(The panel culminated in a special SOG 30th cake, which I stupidly didn’t think to get a picture of.)


So, that was basically how my weekend was spent, hobnobbing with people that actually know what they’re talking about. Truth be told, I didn’t have a whole lot of time to spend on the floor, for the most part. I made some rounds before the doors opened on Friday, and for a bit after my last panel that night, and a few points in-between. But, I didn’t really get to go around, meet people, and take pictures with the ‘lebrities until after my last panel on Saturday. Who’d I meet? Read on!

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This picture was taken Friday night, a decision that proved to be extremely fortunate. I’ll explain further when I get to the “my stuff” section of this post.

I met Fritz the Nite Owl! When the guests were being announced for Monsterfestmania, this was one of the major draws for me. Longtime readers (or at least longer time readers) will recall I’ve talked about Fritz a bit before here (more on that momentarily). Even though I didn’t grow up watching him (he hails from the Columbus, Ohio market, and I, uh, don’t), I’ve loved everything I’ve seen regarding him. He’s a legitimate horror hosting legend, so if nothing else, I was going to meet him!

And boy oh boy, he was just great! Extremely giving with his time, free with signing autographs, and he told absolutely wonderful stories. Not just quick brush-off stories, either; nope, these were detailed, entertaining stories. And he was the nicest guy during all of it.

As if I couldn’t be any more impressed by him, something he did that I thought was ridiculously cool was his showing up to panels, and then just sitting in the audience, taking it all in. Even though he would eventually be pointed out (and given a round of applause – deservedly so), he wasn’t there for that; he was there to see the presentations. Fritz was just the coolest.

He’s still going, too. Check out his official website for more details!

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Also taken Friday night, here I am with the Weirdness Really Bad Movie guys: Dave Binkley on the left, Mike Mace on the right. Really great, super friendly guys. Their talks during the “Horror Hosts Reborn” panel were beyond enlightening.

My doing the panel presentations wasn’t a new development; Michael Savene came to me about a year and a half ago, asking me if I’d like to be involved with the show. Of course I instantly said yes. I had plenty of time to prepare, at least mentally, for that. However, something I was asked to do the first day came out of the blue: make announcements for the charity auctions, panels and movie showings over the loudspeaker. I had no problem with that, but just like the panel presentations, this was all entirely new to me. Mike Mace gave me some pointers, showed me how to use the most ear-grabbing techniques, excellent things to know. Mike’s a good egg.

Check out the official Weirdness Really Bad Movie website here.

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Jungle Bob was only there the first day, and in a stunningly goofballed oversight on my part, I neglected to get a picture with him. I mean, sure, I’ve got pictures of myself hangin’ with JB before, but this was Monsterfestmania #1! And I messed up!

So, to make up for that blunder, here’s a zoomed, cropped, overly- blurry shot of the man himself holding a really angry snapping turtle. It was a young alligator snapper, and boy did it act like it!

If you ever have the chance to talk, I mean really talk with JB, he has some absolutely fantastic stories of his years in the business. I won’t divulge his Rock Hall tale here, that’s his turf, but it’s just great. JB is, without a doubt, “the dude.”

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The Yess Man!

Jesse Vance was/is not only one of the masterminds behind Monsterfestmania, but also a very good friend of mine. Popularly known as “The Yess Man” (he’s got the juice), Jesse is largely to thank for this this post and this post, as well as tons of great material that hasn’t even been hinted at on this blog yet. Seriously, he’s always helping me out with the cool winnins, and even if he didn’t, he’d still be one of the best friends I’ve got. One of the funniest, coolest guys I’ve ever known. He was also a huge help to me in the time leading up to the show, and even during the show itself. Thanks, Yess Man!

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Look who I did done runned into! My buddy Steve from high school!

Let me be frank, there’s really only a handful of people I’d care to run into from high school, and make no mistake, Steve is one of them. He was one of the coolest guys then, and he’s one of the coolest guys now. Even back then, we could sit and discuss movies, especially horror & sci-fi movies, for great lengths of time. Also, I refuse to believe anyone knows more about Batman than Steve. Dude’s even got a legit Adam West Batman costume!

I won’t divulge too much, but chances are we’ll be seeing Steve again on the blog; we’ve already come up with some great ideas for post-collaboratin’!

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I wonder if it was deflating for Son of Ghoul to get a letter from the president and a plaque and a big ol’ cake, and then almost immediately afterwards have to take pictures like this with me?

I had a lot of fun and some great conversations with SOG both days. Because of my white jacket, and because he knows me, he liked to shout “Waiter! Water!” whenever I walked by. I got a kick out of it, and eventually I decided it would be pretty funny if I actually brought him some water. I had this big long comedy routine worked out in my head for when I did, too. When I gave him the cup though, he seemed a little confused and admitted he “was just joking!” That, of course, kind of put an end to any ostensibly-hilarious bit I had planned before it even got started.

My sense of humor was really batting zippo with the masses…

(Remember that time I interviewed SOG? It happened, and it was earth-shattering.)

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Hanging with the guys from the last panel of the first day on, uh, the last day. On the left: internet hosts Tarr & Fether. On the right: Dale Kay. In the middle: my really cool official Monsterfestmania t-shirt. (They let us keep ’em, too!)

Had some great talks with Dale; when all was said and done, panel-wise, we chatted a bit outside on Saturday (finally had time to get some food!). I admit it took me a second to recognize him without the hat (I was pretty beat by that point, y’see). Dale mentioned the old Ghoul skit where a stuffed Gamera was sent zooming across the studio – anyone who loves that bit as much as I do is automatically my friend.

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On the left, Michael Monahan. On the right, Dave Ivey. It was awesome meeting Dave; so much of his work was familiar to me, except I didn’t know it was his. A great artist and a great guy.

Had some terrific conversations with Michael Monahan. We both agreed Dr. Paul Bearer was one of the absolute greats, and we discussed our obtaining of various horror host material. I even showed him the clip of Renfield on my phone; it was a new one on him, so the mystery of the show continues – if it’s unfamiliar to Michael Monahan, it must be mega-obscure!

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I met Ivonna Cadaver!

Ivonna Cadaver hosts Macabre Theater on Youtoo America every Saturday night at 10 PM. It’s tough for any host to make it on local TV, never mind national TV, and to be doing it since 2002? That’s beyond impressive. I told her myself how awesome an achievement it was to make it on national TV, too.

And boy, she was just absolutely the nicest. She even told me a couple of times how well I did presenting her panel. She even stopped in to watch the SOG 30th presentation from the audience, completely unannounced, just taking it all in. I think that’s such a cool thing for a fellow host to do. I’m extremely glad I had a chance to talk with her and get a photo.

I met Ivonna Cadaver!

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Hangin’ with my Facebook pal, Dr. Dark aka Justin Thomas Ord! Great, great guy – very friendly and a lot of fun to talk to. He was there the first day, and I was looking for him – but being out of costume, I completely missed him! That was obviously rectified the second day, and I’m glad it was; I would have been bummed otherwise.

Also, is it just me or does his costume recall The Shroud? That alone makes him “the man!”

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I had, had, to get a picture with, I’m convinced, two of the nicest people in the whole wide world: Mike & Jan Olszewski! Who’s that curly-headed guy? That’s my brother Luke! No, I don’t think we look alike, but tis true nevertheless. Also, that’s a lot of Monsterfestmania shirts in one picture.

Mike paid me a wildly high compliment early on the first day: he told me I was like a 60-year-old in the body of a 20-year-old, because of what I generally write about. Could’ve knocked me over with a feather!

The reason I found that especially complimentary? Doing what I do, and being as old (or young) as I am, I’ve naturally run into some people that, right off the bat, don’t take me seriously, or worse yet, don’t think I actually know what I’m talking about. I’m generally an easygoing guy, but that mindset can and does irritate me really, really fast, because it’s based on a preconceived notion without any evidence on their part to back it up. So, to hear such a compliment from someone that knows more about TV than, well, pretty much anyone, it’s both insanely flattering and a kind of validation.

Mike & Jan really are just wonderful. Y’all should go and buy both volumes of their Cleveland TV Tales, if you haven’t done so yet. I’m not just saying that because I’m so fond of the authors, either; these are genuine must-reads! Plus, if you think about it, the bits from my Superhost interview in Volume 2 really do elevate the book to Tom Sawyer-status, whether the audience recognizes it or not. [Insert winky emoticon here.]

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And finally, things wouldn’t be complete without a picture of myself with fearless leader, Michael Savene! Michael is one of the main-brains behind not only Monsterfestmania but also Akron Comicon, and make no mistake, he and the other folks behind these shows know how to run a convention. They did a phenomenal job; the first-ever Monsterfestmania was a total blast. I can’t thank him enough for allowing me to be a part of all this!

Also, eagle-eyes will notice we were photobombed by The Yess Man!


Just for fun:

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The Yess Man and I messing around with some zombie-thing. I’m not sure why, but I was pretty tired and probably fairly slap-happy by that point. Looks like we’re helping him get up off the ground or something.

More just for fun:

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Son of Ghoul at his most Batman-ish. It looks like he just rolled in off the set of Batman Returns. I’m not sure why my mind heads towards Batman Returns and not, say, the ’89 Batman, but whatever. In his hand, SOG holds a plastic cup of punch. I capture all of the special little moments in life, don’t I?

Last just for fun:

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A wildly blurry and off-center photo of me with Fritz the Nite Owl. I’m not sure why my brother snapped this, but to tell you the truth, I kinda like it. It’s avant garde or artsy or something like that.


I usually wrap these convention recap posts up with a look at my loot, my booty, my haul. That is, the cool stuff I picked up at the show. I actually didn’t buy much there, mainly because I didn’t have a whole lot of time. Well, that’s not quite true; I didn’t buy anything. That doesn’t mean I didn’t come home with some cool stuff though. Besides the everlastingly-awesome convention t-shirt, check these goods out…

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Because I used my bean and got a picture with Fritz at the end of the first night, that meant I had time to get an 8×10 glossy of the occurrence printed out and subsequently signed the next day! A pic with Fritz and his autograph? It doesn’t get much cooler than that! Also, a post, the one I alluded to earlier, featured an image from his run on WBNS TV-10, spotlighting Taxi and his Double Chiller Nite Owl Theater program. I’ve got several Fritz promos, but this was the only one specifically horror-related. So, I figured why not get a glossy print-out of that sceencap, too. Fritz was gracious enough to sign it as well (and he told me quite a bit about some of his other station duties around that time period).

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In the same arena, a couple of SOG screencaps from promos I’ve found, printed out as glossies and graciously signed by the man himself. The one on top is a clip from his 7th anniversary special promo (WOAC TV-67, 1993), and the one below is a shot from his 2015 promo announcing his timeslot change (as far as I know, this is the newest promo he has). We actually saw that one here before, when I was trying to spread the word of the change.

I like getting these sorts of things signed because, frankly, I’ve already got much of the ‘normal’ stuff; I like to have something unique added to my collection, something not everyone else has. Methinks these fit the bill.

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Last but certainly not least: a Son of Ghoul commemorative 30th anniversary Monsterfestmania mug! Still new in the plastic! This was a complimentary gift, given to me when I got my t-shirt before the doors opened on the first day. (My brother got a mug and shirt to call his own as well.) I THIS LOVE MUG. It’s an exclusive thing, celebrating both SOG’s 30th and the convention I was proud to be a part of. It will probably stay new in the plastic, because if I were ever to try using it, I know I’d be freaking out over it, worried I’d break it or chip it or what have you.

I LOVE THIS MUG!


I do believe that about wraps this recap up. I had a fantastic two days at Monsterfestmania #1. Not only was it a learning experience, but it was a fun learning experience. I met some great people, got some awesome pictures, brought home some cool memorabilia, and helped get my silly little blog out there a bit more (some guy even asked me for my card; never thinking anyone would care enough to want a card, I instead wrote down the web address on a sad piece of notepad paper).

My sincerest thanks again to Michael Savene, Jesse Vance and everyone else that helped make this happen. It was and is a honor and pleasure to be a part of the show, and should you want me back for the next one, hey, I’m there!

(Here is the official Monsterfestmania website. Check it out, and if you didn’t make it to the show this year, try to come out next year!)

Mill Creek’s 3-Disc The Best of the Worst 12-Movie DVD Set

 

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Look what I got! A 12-movie, 3-disc budget DVD set of what are, ostensibly, the best of the worst movies ever made! Cool winnins! I was stoked to get this! And it was cheap, too! In general, this set tends to run, from what I’ve heard, between $5 to $10, a price that is completely acceptable even for someone that’s as perpetually broke as I am (mine was $5). And if awful, awful movies are what you’re after, the first disc alone warrants that price (we’ll get to all that in a bit).

Even though this came out in 2013, I just found out about it recently. Guess I’ve been off my budget DVD game. It’s put out by Mill Creek, who have, over the last several years, proven themselves to be purveyors of fine, fine DVD releases. I’m not just saying that because I dream of them sending me a bunch of free crap, either; any company that releases the complete series of Hunter is automatically my friend.

The fine folks at Mill Creek are no strangers to releases such as this, either; there are several budget DVD sets of cheapie horror/sci-fi flicks put out by them. They follow a similar format, except this set is the only one to come right out and tell you that the movies contained within are gonna blow. Since the ‘genre’ of bad movies is particularly popular right now, it’s a pretty smart move on Mill Creek’s part. Hey, got me to buy it, and isn’t that the really important factor here?

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(Click on the pic for a, how do you say, super-sized view.)

I can’t help but feel this is a set geared towards fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (which as has been proven time and time again, is exactly what I am). And It’s not only because of the whole “these are bad movies you can laugh at” concept, either; a full half of the selections on here were featured on MST3K. There were a lot of bad movies on the show, yes, but considering one of the films featured here is known solely because of MST3K, well, I don’t think it’s coincidental marketing (or whatever you’d want to call it).

Though as a longtime MSTie, I tend to see allusions to the show where they weren’t intended to be, so take that for what you will.

Like so many budget DVD sets, the titles found here are limited to the realm of the public domain, which I don’t mind a bit. Sure, some of these movies have been making the rounds for decades, going back to the VHS days (I’m looking at you specifically, The Terror), but when they’re put together under the banner of “entertainingly bad films,” it all clicks in a way that they wouldn’t have otherwise. Why pretend these are something they aren’t? It’s a move I absolutely respect, though in all fairness I does loves me a good bad movie (plus that whole MSTie thing); your mileage may vary, however.

However, If I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t really agree that these are all the best of the worst. There’s a few titles that, while undoubtedly ‘bad’ movies, feel more like filler than anything. Like I said before, Mill Creek has put out other similar sets, and it just seems to me that they used up many of their “heavy hitters” already across those. Example: there’s just no reason The Creeping Terror, one of the most infamous bad movies ever, shouldn’t be on here. Keep in mind that Mill Creek did indeed get the rights to release it (contrary to popular belief, it’s not public domain), on their 12 Creature Features set, so the absence of shag carpet monsters and insane narration on The Best of the Worst is a little head scratching. I guess I can see them not wanting to repeat titles across their various sets, which I applaud, but for the films that are here and what this set purports to be overall, it still feels like a particularly glaring omission to me.

Don’t get me wrong though. While I think there could have been just a bit more refinement in the selections, I am overwhelmingly happy with the set. And besides, despite the title, this probably isn’t really intended to be the end-all be-all release of the best bad movies ever. It’s a $5-$10 bargain DVD set, after all; there’s plenty here to justify that small amount, at any rate.

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The set consists of three, single-sided discs with four movies on each one. Since many of these are pretty short, it’s not an unreasonable amount. All three discs fit in a regular-sized DVD case, on one single spindle. That means if you want to watch a disc that isn’t directly on top, you’ll have to physically remove one or two discs first, but it’s a small price to pay for such a fantastic load of crappy, crappy movies.

And with that said, lets take a brief look at the actual contents of the set, because hey, that’s what the people want, right?

(I might as well say right now that some of the movies on this set I’m more familiar with than others. Most of them I’ve seen, but some I saw looong ago; I’m not claiming to have sat down and watched every one of these exhaustively while taking notes for this. I’m just giving the straight dope on the set, you make up your own minds from there, paisanos.)

Disc One

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The menu for each disc is super simple. What you’re seeing above is basically it. The two film reels in the corners continuously spin, but that’s as close as things get to a “wow!” factor. Not that it really matters, because c’mon, when you’re getting this much bang for your buck, there comes a point when demanding even more turns you from wanting the most for your money into a nitpicky whiner. Cut that stuff out, man. (Says the guy who just complained that The Creeping Terror isn’t here.)

In terms of badness, this first disc is absolutely the roughest of the three. For anyone trying to make it through the whole thing in order, the rest will almost (almost) come as a relief after making it through this one. Disc one includes a bad movie, a really bad movie, and two legitimate contenders for worst film ever. In other words, the entire price of the set is justified in the first disc alone.

Also, all four of these movies appeared on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and I’ll say up front that it’s often strange to realize there won’t be any riffs; you’re watching these as-is. The more well-known the respective episode is, the odder it feels, and there are points where you (or at least I) will instinctively think of the appropriate riffs.

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Can you say “starting things off with a bang?” Manos: The Hands Of Fate, a film that would have been completely and utterly forgotten after its disastrous 1966 El Paso premiere had it not been for Mystery Science Theater 3000 resurrecting it and turning it into one of the most loved bad movies ever. Despite being movie one, disc one, this is really the centerpiece of The Best of the Worst, as far as I’m concerned. Mill Creek must have realized that, as the portrait of “The Master” under the credits on the back of the DVD make clear. Forget the other 11 movies on the set, Manos alone is worth the price of admission.

The beauty (ha!) of the film is that it’s just such a mess. The camera used could only film 30+ seconds at a time, making for really weird continuity. Furthermore, it was filmed silent, so all of the voices were dubbed in later (at least they didn’t go the hackneyed narration route). The capper? It was very literally made on a bet by an inexperienced El Paso, Texas fertilizer salesman (director-producer-writer-star Harold P. Warren). The plot is all over the place, and the music ranges from awkward to downright unacceptable. Basically, every aspect of the film that can be wrong, is.

But, except for a really screwed up scene during the conclusion, it’s really not a movie you can full-on hate, because it is just so utterly out there. Manos tells the tale of a family stranded at remote lodge that is in actuality the base of operations for a polygamous cult that worships “manos.” There’s “The Master” (who rarely, if ever, approves), his constantly bickering bevy of wives, a necking couple in a car that serves no purpose, and some cops that are even more useless. But the character most everyone loves is big-knee’d, shuffling, twitchy-faced, jerky-voiced Torgo (That’s him above), the caretaker of the lodge. Torgo gets his own goofy theme music and, despite technically being a bad guy, winds up becoming something of an anti-hero, even after he makes the worst pass at a woman outside of me. I have a hard time believing the movie would be so loved if it weren’t for Torgo.

I won’t even try to explain further the wonderfully bizarre circumstances surrounding this film, so let Wikipedia tell you all about it. If you like bad movies but haven’t seen Manos yet, well, it’s pretty hard to top. Like I said before, worth the price of admission alone.

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Being on a budget DVD set isn’t necessarily an indicator of public domain status, but word on the street is that this film has indeed lapsed. Which is fine by me, because this is one of the bigger surprises (for me, anyway) on the set. It’s also the newest selection on it, if you can consider 1976 “new.” The subject of one of my very favorite MST3K episodes, this is really bad (and thus, really good) 1970s sci-fi, complete with the dreary color scheme that must have colored the entire decade. It’s just ‘horrific’ enough to satisfy the masses, but just goofy enough to keep things from becoming overly depressing. Featured during the final season, it was and is perfect MST3K fodder for the Sci-Fi Channel era of the show.

Did you know that being hit in the head by a piece of meteorite (“Moon rocks? Oh wow!“) can turn you into killer lizard monster that somehow ties into Native American folklore? Well it can, and to a hapless anthropologist, it does. Also included: Johnny Longbow’s killer stew recipe, a shop that sells both coins and guns, and a tent full of old guys. Oh, and a live performance of the smash hit, “California Lady.” Is it wrong that I’m considering making an MP3 of the song for iTunes?

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Now is as good a time as any to mention that the quality of the films on the set vary from feature to feature, but the condition of the prints is overall better that many “cheapie” movie sets out there. Thus far, Track of The Moon Beast looks okay, and Manos is, well, Manos, but the print used for The Beast Of Yucca Flats is absolutely terrific. There are the occasional scratches and dust, but it’s mostly very clean, crisp and clear. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve seen the movie look better.

Which is a hollow victory, because as far as I’m concerned, it’s the worst film in the entire set. The product of Coleman Francis’ fevered mind, and just like everything else Francis set his hand to, it’s a slimy, unpleasant film. Unlike Manos, which is also grimy but also, against all odds, somehow endearing, Beast is just an ugly, ugly movie. Even star Tor Johnson, who I normally find quite entertaining, can’t save it. Say what you want about Ed Wood, Coleman Francis was an infinitely worse filmmaker. I can’t decide if this is better or worse than Francis’ other cinematic abominations, The Skydivers and Red Zone Cuba (both also featured on MST3K), but in the end, if it has Francis’ name on it, there is no genuine “better,” just different levels of “awful.”.

The plot is some tripe about a defecting Soviet scientist (I hope can you buy Tor Johnson as a scientist, because that is exactly what the film posits) that gets caught in a nuclear blast and is turned into a mindless killer. Even the narrator’s deathless non-sequitur of “Flag on the moon; how did it get there?” can’t provide enough comedic momentum to sustain viewers through the 50+ minute (yes, really) running time.

Oh, the narrator? Yeah, this movie has no real dialogue; it’s almost entirely narrated (by Coleman himself), and what in-movie speech there is isn’t actually synchronized with the film; it’s spoken when mouths aren’t clearly visible or even on-screen at all. The Creeping Terror pulled that crap too, but there it wound up funny. Here though, it just makes you resent life and the fact that something like this could not only be made but also released to an unsuspecting public.

I hate this movie and can’t say enough bad things about it, which of course means it’s a perfect addition to the proceedings, simply because of how sickeningly, jaw-droppingly bad it is.
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After the soul-crushing saga that is The Beast Of Yucca Flats, Eegah almost comes as a respite, and rest assured, that’s not a statement I make lightly, because there aren’t many instances where Eegah can ever be seen as a respite.

Long story short: a caveman still exists in a California desert, he develops an attraction to a teenage girl, kidnaps her father, kidnaps her, they both get saved by the girl’s guitar-wielding boyfriend (though he doesn’t save them with the guitar; that would be just too much!), the caveman follows the whole lot to a pool party, and gets shotted dead. The end.

Eegah is frequently listed as one of the worst films of all-time, a rating that I find just a little overrated. Oh, it’s really bad alright, and there’s an icky shaving scene, an even ickier implication that there was some off-screen romancin’ afoot between the teenage girl and the guy who plays her dad, and an even ickier moment when the girl’s dad basically tells her to put up with Eegah’s affections. There’s even some superfluous songs by the boyfriend (played by Arch Hall Jr., who y’all will recall I met; Arch is a very cool guy and a lot of fun to talk to)!

But, even with all that, I never saw Eegah rising to the levels of near-unwatchability such as, well, the previous movie on this set did. For the most part, it’s 1960’s drive-in schlock, and while it’s certainly terrible, it’s not that terrible. I have a hard time hating anything like this from the decade where, at least on the surface, it’s all meant to be relatively innocent. I guess.

Watch out for snakes!

Disc Two

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Disc two is probably the least painful in the set. Only one movie on it (The Atomic Brain) is gut-wrenchingly terrible. Unfortunately, as far as that whole “movies so bad they’re good” vibe goes, it’s also where the set loses some steam, and from here on out, things are a bit hit-or-miss. The fun-factor never goes away completely, but after that powerhouse (ha!) of a first disc, well, it’s a hard act to follow.

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The Ape Man! Starring Bela Lugosi! Bela is always a plus, and it allows Mill Creek to draw on his name on the back cover. I think Scared To Death may have been a better choice as far as “bad-good” goes (and it’s a color movie, to boot), but I was actually kinda pleased to see The Ape Man here. Though in all honesty, I just kinda skimmed this one here and I don’t recall seeing it in the past, so maybe that’s an unfounded viewpoint.

The plot is formula stuff. Lugosi is a mad scientist whose experiments cause him to turn into the titular character. It’s a poverty row Lugosi flick, though I’m the first to admit that I have a soft spot for those.

And really, that points to my main area of interest with this one: after Dracula succeeded in stereotyping him somethin’ fierce, by the 1940s Lugosi was forced to take on mega-cheap horror/sci-fi flicks not unlike this one. It’s a good example of his film work at the time, to see a legitimate movie legend reduced to movies of this caliber. But, it’s usually fun to see him in anything, and even when it’s a by-the-numbers affair like this, his magnetism can drive the film further than a different actor may have. Plus, the low-budget affairs of the 1930s and 1940s, while obviously not comparable to Universal’s output, can often be pretty entertaining time wasters.

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The Amazing Transparent Man, another flick that popped up on MST3K. I first saw it on The Ghoul, waaay back in 1999 or 2000 (I still have my recording of the episode somewhere). Truth be told, it’s another feature that I think really isn’t that bad. I don’t think anyone will claim it to be good, but it’s relatively painless.

The title makes it sound more spectacular than it really is. It’s actually just a low-budget twist on the classic “invisible fella” formula, only this time with a mad scientist trying to create a slew of invisible baddies as part of a world domination scheme. He enlists a criminal to act as a guinea pig and steal the needed ingredients to complete the scheme.

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The last MST’d movie on the set, and whoo-boy is it a baddie. This is the low-point of disc two, and it absolutely deserves a place of honor in this collection.

The Atomic Brain is some hokum about a decrepit old woman that wants to switch brains with a younger dame. Eternal youth or some crap like that. Eventually, someone’s brain ends up in the head of a cat somehow. I don’t know, this one causes my eyes to glaze over pretty bad, even on MST3K.

The real eyebrow raiser here is just how sexist the movie is towards women, especially since it is woman as the catalyst for all of these shenanigans.

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First off, it was a pain trying to find a good ‘action’ screencap for this one; I was never satisfied with the choices, and even now I’m really not all that happy with my pick. It’s an axe crashing through a wall is what is.

The plot is one of those “fake crime turning into a real one” deals, as a woman trying to scheme her way into a family’s will leads to some very real axe murders.

The really interesting thing about Dementia 13 isn’t so much what it is (though it’s a fairly violent movie for the early-1960s) but rather who was behind it: none other than Francis Ford Coppola! You know, The Godfather guy. Mr. Apocalypse Now himself! And believe it or not, this was his very first ‘legit’ movie! I wouldn’t say it gives much indication of the esteem that would later befall Coppola, though it’s really not all that bad, but it’s most definitely cool to see one of his super early efforts.

Disc Three

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Do you mind if I power through this last disc? For as much as I like The Best of the Worst, my enthusiasm for this post is waning fast. Maybe it’s for the best, as in my opinion the last disc is the least interesting of the three. Still, there is entertainment to be had here, though in the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t ever seen the last two movies on this disc in their entirety, because frankly, I just don’t care. Does that cause me to lose my reviewer credentials? I don’t care about that, either.

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I first saw Unknown World on Son of Ghoul, and it’s less of a “really bad” movie and more of a “painfully dull” movie.

Having been made in the 1950s, nuclear war and whatnot was a particularly major concern, and here, some scientists have devised a tunneling device to burrow deep into the earth to escape said calamity, should it occur. They do just that, and then…nothing much happens. Well, things happen, but none of them are all that interesting. I mean, burrowing into the earth should provide just as much fodder as an outer space plot could, and yet, the movie completely misses the mark.

No, I don’t enjoy this one, not one bit.

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The Terror, a movie that I have tried multiple times to like. No kidding, I want to enjoy this one so much, and it just never, never happens. The saturated colors, Gothic scenery, and stars Boris Karloff AND Jack Nicholson (he’s probably pretty proud of this movie) seem like an absolute recipe for a good time, and yet, it just never does it for me. Furthermore, it’s a film I just can’t get away from. I have it so many times over on various budget movie DVDs/tapes/sets, and even recordings on both The Ghoul and Son of Ghoul, and still it only leaves me chilly frosty cold.

Set in the 1800s, Nicholson is a Napoleonic soldier (the role he was born to play!) that winds up at Karloff’s castle and right into a ghostly scenario. Karloff is being haunted by the ghost of a woman he killed, which in turn is under the control of a witch, and then some stuff happens and it ends.

Really, aside from a couple scenes of rotting corpses and a relatively graphic falcon (?) attack, there’s not a whole lot memorable about this one, and truth be told, I have a hard time following the plot. Rumor has it that this was made in only a couple of days, and, well, it shows.

Man I want to like this movie!

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Don’t get too excited, the title seems more lurid than the actual movie, though you’ll be pleased to know it stars Uncle Fester. Some crap about a scientist in Mexico creating animals from humans or humans from animals or I don’t even know. The movie is public domain, I don’t have to worry about providing a satisfactory summary. Here, go to Wikipedia and learn all about it!

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And finally, no bad movie collection would be complete without a contribution from Jerry Warren, and here it is. The quality looks like it comes from a VHS tape and some of the dialogue is unintelligible. It sounds like it’s a suckier version of Unknown World, though I refuse to take a closer look at the actual movie to back those claims up. Here, Wikipedia is yo’ frien’ again.

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I love this set. I really do. The mere sight of it fills me with joy. Yeah, it kinda runs out of steam for me by the end, but the concept alone is just so cool that I don’t really mind. It’s absolutely worth the couple of bucks it fetches wherever you may find it, so yeah, if it crosses your path, I’d say give it a go.

Hey, Mill Creek, how about a Volume 2? You’ve already got a guaranteed sale in me, and isn’t that what it’s really all about?

(Here is Mill Creek’s official website and here is the product page for this set.)

WJW TV-8 – Big Chuck & Lil’ John’s Pregame Show (September 20, 2003)

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Man, I used to tape a lot of stuff, so much so that it’s not uncommon for me to come across something I recorded myself back in the day and yet have NO recollection of ever doing so. (See: this post.) When it came to all of the crap things I taped, I like to think that I have a pretty good memory, but I’ve been genuinely surprised by what I recorded years ago enough times to realize that my mental synapses aren’t always untouchable when it comes to this sort of thing.

While this particular broadcast isn’t one I had completely and totally forgotten about capturing, I only retained the vaguest memories of taping it. For obvious reasons, I’m sure glad I did, though. Behold: from WJW 8, it’s Big Chuck & Lil John’s Saturday afternoon “Pregame Show,” from 2003. Has it really been 12 years since this first aired? I refuse to believe it’s been 12 years. I was 17 years old! A junior in high school!

Truth be told, I’m really not sure what drove me to record this. I was of course a full-fledged Big Chuck & Lil’ John fan by 2003, but, aside from a few scattered instances (such as the one seen in this post), I didn’t really tape their show(s) that often. Thanks to those aforementioned super-vague memories, I seem to recall there being something ostensibly special about this broadcast. Maybe I thought it would be a one-off kinda thing?

No matter, because I taped it, I saved it, and thus, here we are.

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Even though the branding is never used here, make no mistake, this is really an installment of Couch Potato Theater, Big Chuck & Lil’ John’s long-running Saturday afternoon showcase, which was always in addition to their regular late night program (they had moved to Saturday nights after MadTV by this point). The features shown during Couch Potato Theater varied from week-to-week; could be a movie, could be old comedy shorts, could be episodes of The Abbott And Costello Show. Or, as in this case, it could be just be skits.

As implied by the whole “Pregame” thing, this episode preceded baseball on WJW 8 that day (actually, it precedes a local special on football and an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer before the game, a difference of scheduling that is noted during the show). As such, it’s a half-hour show made up entirely of skits.

Actually, one thing I really like about this broadcast is just how much it reminds me of Big Chuck & Lil’ John’s current show: 30 minutes of skits with the occasional host segment. One major difference between now and then, besides the set and live audience of the old days I mean, is how ‘current’ they were back in the day; references and reminders of what was going on around Northeast Ohio, including where they would be appearing in person (indeed, as per an announcement from Chuck, they were appearing somewhere following this very episode), was a constant part of their hosting duties. Not so hard to understand, since they were (I’m guessing) in the studio quite a bit back then. It’s a much simpler affair nowadays, though anything that keeps Big Chuck & Lil’ John on the air is fine by me.

(Speaking of on the air: up until a few months ago, WJW was running Big Chuck & Lil’ John’s new show in a Saturday11:30 AM time slot, which reminded me even more of the old Couch Potato Theater days. They’ve since moved them to 11;30 PM, Sundays. I DVR the show no matter what, so the time change doesn’t impact me all that much, but I preferred Saturday mornings solely due to that nostalgia element it presented. There was just something about kicking off your Saturday with Chuck & John!)

Being only 30 minutes in length (or, if you want to be really anal, about 28 minutes; the next show didn’t start immediately after this one, dig?), I naturally don’t have a whole lot to work with here, even if I do find it incredibly cool and undeniably nostalgic. But, I’ll give it a shot.

First up, some of the skits themselves:

 

Muldoon’s Bar

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One of my all-time favorites, though I’m pretty sure it’s just a filmed version of an old joke. “Resident Irishman” Tom Bush plays Paddy, who every week or so enters Muldoon’s Bar for two shots of Irish whiskey: one for him, and one to drink for his brother back in Ireland (“To his health!”). One week, he stops at the bar, but only orders a single shot. The bartender is understandably concerned about Paddy’s brother back in Ireland, but when questioned, Paddy reveals the truth: his brother is fine, and in fact, the one shot he drinks is for him. So why not the second shot? Because Paddy gave up drinking for Lent! I love it!

 

The Amazing Stanley

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You can almost see where this one is going from the start. it’s the classic “sawing a woman in half” magic routine, which “The Amazing Stanley” performs to the satisfaction of the crowd. It’s only backstage that the “magic” of the illusion is seen: it’s been two little people curled up in the individual sections of the box! It’s a trip seeing John in high heels, and as per the host segment following the skit, the woman is played by John’s real-life sister.

 

Rockhead

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The Rockhead skits were never my favorites, though I think there were only a few of them. It’s a parody of Rocky, obviously. In this one, Rockhead is training for his big fight with “Alonzo,” while fake Adrian continuously nags him to give up boxing and instead take a steady job as a delivery boy for Rego’s Supermarket. Rockhead always gives the idea the brush off, until he disturbs Alonzo during his training; Alonzo angrily crashing through the wall is enough for Rockhead to immediately change his plans for the future. Fun fact: Chuck’s Rockhead wears a Ghoul sweatshirt throughout the entire skit!

 

Art Modell’s Back!

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Even though he passed away three years ago, Art Modell still isn’t the most popular guy in Northeast Ohio. But back in 2003, the hate for him was pretty venomous. He took away our Browns, man! This sketch plays into that sentiment. In it, Modell is seen talking on the phone and snickering; turns out Cleveland wants him back! We just couldn’t live without him! The pay-off to the skit is that he is indeed brought back to Cleveland…selling hot dogs! And to further insult him, he’s seen calling after people asking if the men’s toilets are backed up while holding up a plunger!

Obviously, there’s no way the real Art Modell was going to come back to Cleveland just to film a skit ragging on him. Instead, “Art” is either seen from behind or, using the same technology as Clutch Cargo and Conan O’Brien, with a pair of live-action, talking lips superimposed over a still image of his head.

It’s a very, very Cleveland sketch, needless to say.

 

The Certain Ethnic Artist

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Another really good one. Chuck’s classic Stash character is the “certain ethnic artist.” He’s seen painting a portrait of John, the results of which, well, you can see above.

Okay, so that does it for the skits themselves, but what about the host segments? I’m so used to Chuck & John only appearing intermittently during the new show that I had forgotten just how many there were back then; they follow every single skit! For the most part, I like the batch of skits seen in this episode, but as far as I’m concerned, the real heart lies in the host segments. Just seeing Chuck & John on that classic set takes me back like you wouldn’t believe.

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Did you notice the pizza box on the table in the host segment screencap way at the start of this post? That was your first clue that quite a bit of the host segments are dedicated to pitching Pizza Pan pizza (alliteration). Pizza Pan was a big sponsor of Big Chuck & Lil’ John at the time. The fellas even did a number of commercials for the company (I’ve got a few). Chuck & John make a point of showing off the pizza box and mentioning the company numerous times during the episode. This is borderline The Pizza Pan Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show!

The gimmick of Pizza Pan was this: order a pizza and have it delivered, you got an extra pizza free. Even better, order a pizza and pick it up yourself, you got two free pizzas! Obviously, a deal like that is going to attract some attention, and for a time, Pizza Pan was pretty ubiquitous in Northeast Ohio. I certainly partook of the ‘Pan more than once. Why? Chuck & John told me to. (Also, free pizza is always nice.)

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At one point during the show, the owner of Pizza Pan himself joins Chuck & John onstage to further promote the company. Not only is a special deal mentioned (free ribs when a pizza is ordered – at the Mentor location only), but also the then-recent expansion of the company to more areas. I wasn’t kidding, there was a time in the early-to-mid-2000s when Pizza Pan was a pretty big local chain.

And then, it just sort of seemed to fade away. I seem to recall, though don’t quote me on this because my memory isn’t that clear on the matter, that after awhile the free pizza deal was done away with. If that is indeed what happened, I guess I can understand it; the whole free pizza thing was what the company built its success on!

There are a few locations still around though. As to whether the free pizza deal was brought back or not, I couldn’t say (the official website seems to only give me the current locations and the ability to order online). Check the official website out to see if there’s one near you.

See, now I’m plugging Pizza Pan! Why? Chuck & John, man, Chuck & John.

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Finally, the pregame show ends with a mention of their feature for their normal, late night program: Rocky II! They both seem quite excited by this, not only because they had run the original Rocky the week before, but also because this is apparently the third good movie they’ve had in a row, though what entailed the third movie in that line-up isn’t stated.

Now is as good a time as any to mention that I love the old movie bumpers Big Chuck & Lil’ John used for their films. The Rocky II one above is a good example. There’s something just so right about them, though my nostalgia obviously plays a part in that feeling.

(By the way: I didn’t notate on the tape when this originally aired, but Bob “Hoolihan” Wells’ 70th birthday is mentioned as coming up on September 27th, and this episode followed my recording of Conan O’Brien’s 10th anniversary show and preceded Saturday Night Live‘s 29th season premiere. Those aired September 14th and October 4th, respectively, and with the help of this calendar, it pretty much has to be September 20, 2003. I can’t see a way that it’s not!)

Anyway, during these broadcast recaps, I usually look at some of the interesting (to me) commercials found during the respective airing. Being only half an hour, again, I’ve only got so much to work with, and frankly, there wasn’t a whole lot that stood out to me. BUT, there were two I couldn’t end the article without taking a quick look at:

 

Buddy’s Carpet Ad

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Buddy’s Carpet! At one time, it was pretty difficult to watch local TV in Northeast Ohio without seeing at least one Buddy’s Carpet ad. Initially, Buddy himself pitched the company in these commercials, though later on a woman (his daughter, I guess?) took over those duties. As evidenced above, this is one of those later commercials. No matter, because it still gives me a far bigger nostalgic charge than any carpet commercial has a right to.

Buddy’s Carpet is still around, though like Pizza Pan, it seems the locations are more limited now. Check them out here.

 

Regency Windows Ad

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I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that up until fairly recently, I didn’t realize I hadn’t seen a Regency Windows ad on TV in a long, long time. Just like Buddy’s Carpet, their commercials were nearly omnipresent on Northeast Ohio TV. Most of them featured owner and spokesman Mikey (that’s him above) screaming “I’m gonna save you a lotttttttta money!” This ad is (probably) one of the few where he doesn’t give his famous line, but he’s still there, and he’s still excitable, so it’s not a total loss.

Turns out Regency Windows closed some years ago, though what remained of the company was purchased by Window Nation. That official website is here.


 

For what is only a 30 minute recording, this one actually packs quite a nostalgic wallop for me. Besides the whole Big Chuck & Lil’ John Saturday afternoon thing (which is more than enough by itself), there’s also Pizza Pan, Buddy’s Carpet, Regency Windows (and more specifically, Regency’s Mikey), and of course, the skits.

Also, It’s amazing to realize that in 2003, in four years Chuck would retire and they’d be off the air entirely, but in less than 10 years, they’d be back hosting a show that is very reminiscent of this (and other, I’m sure) pregame episodes, a show which continues to this day. If there’s one thing I love about Northeast Ohio, it’s that more than once, our movie hosts have not gone quietly into the figurative night. One way or another, they find their way back!