WCLQ TV-61 – “The Ghoul is Back” Print Ad (October, 1982)

It’s October! Halloween season! A whole month of spookiness! Who doesn’t love this time of year?!

Horror & sci-fi related posts aren’t exactly strangers to this blog, but for this October, I’d like to stay safely within those genres for the entire month. And, I’m going to try, try to post one Halloween-related article a week. Unless real life interferes, that should be doable. Maybe. I hope. Well, we’ll see.

So, on this first day of October, I’m kicking things off with this awesome original print advertisement (a full-page TV Guide ad, to boot) I bought online recently: from October 1982, it’s Cleveland’s loooong gone WCLQ TV-61, announcing the return of legendary horror host The Ghoul to local airwaves! Cool winnins! And hey, today is Saturday, and it’s the afternoon (as of this posting, anyway), so it’s all double-appropriate!

Ron Sweed’s The Ghoul was a successor to Ghoulardi, and while most certainly a “Cleveland guy,” the sad fact of the matter is he’s had a pretty spotty run on our local airwaves. He’s had success outside of Northeast Ohio however, and indeed, he may be even more revered in Detroit than he is here. But, as far as we go, it’s been an up-and-down ride.

The Ghoul began life on Cleveland’s independent WKBF TV-61 in 1971 as a more-manic take on Ernie Anderson’s Ghoulardi. Through a combo of controversy and the station itself falling on hard times, the show ended in 1975. Even so, The Ghoul left a huge impression on a generation of viewers.

And so, he kept coming back. As we’ve seen, he returned to Cleveland television in 1998, but this print advertisement, needless to say, wasn’t for that run. Oh no, this was for The Ghoul’s second tenure on Northeast Ohio TV. He resurfaced on WKBF’s successor, WCLQ TV-61, in 1982. WCLQ was alive from 1981 to 1986, well into the videotape era, and any time I find a recording from it is an occasion for celebration. (Which, frankly, doesn’t happen as often as I’d prefer.)

The Ghoul was on WCLQ from, obviously, 1982 to, near as I can tell, 1985. Recordings of him on the station have proven to be exceedingly rare for me, but this print ad from the start of the run is so unabashedly cool, it definitely relieves some of the desire for more WCLQ Ghoul.

Just look at it up there! LOOK AT IT! It’s such a simple, yet perfect, way to herald the man’s return to Cleveland TV. The descriptions of The Ghoul’s traits are funny, and that tagline, “Keep your doors locked and your TV on,” that’s fantastic. And look close; it took me far too long to notice The Ghoul has a cigarette covertly stationed in his hand! I was prepared to say that’s an aspect of the ad that wouldn’t be found nowadays, until I realized there’s not much about this ad that would be found nowadays! Horror hosts are an endangered species. In fact, this advertisement hails from the tail-end of the era in which they were considered necessities on local television stations. Maybe even a little beyond, truth be told.

The only part of this ad I initially found a little curious was the time slot: 12 noon to 2 PM? “Not exactly a primo spot for a horror movie host!” BUT, then I realized it’s not odd at all; Saturday afternoon creature features were a longstanding tradition with shows of this nature. Heck, Saturday afternoons were Superhost’s bread-and-butter for 20 years! Indeed, The Ghoul was going up directly against Supe! And, lest we forget, Big Chuck & Lil’ John were Saturday afternoon mainstays for years, as well.

I love everything about this print ad. The Cleveland TV history aspect, the horror hosting aspect, WCLQ. The whole thing is just great; a very welcome addition to my ever-growing collection!

And with that, our Halloween month has kicked off. Stay tuned, more to come! I have a feeling this month is gonna be fantastic here at the blog!

Alpha Video – Range Riders (1934) DVD Review

Look, I loves me some westerns. I really do. Okay, yeah, you tend to see more horror and sci-fi-related things here at the blog; what can I say, those are my favorite film genres. But, I really am a western fan, too. And of course, it’s not like we’ve never seen anything from that genre here in the past. Just not as much as I’d maybe prefer.

Actually, to be honest, when it comes to westerns, my heart really lies with the cheapie entries. That is, B-Westerns. You know, the hour-long (if that) quickies practically produced for pennies, particularly in the 1930s and 1940s. (Are you jealous of my alliteration skills yet?) Sure, they were intended as strict matinee fare, they weren’t exactly technical marvels of movie making magic (alliteration again), and they undoubtedly weren’t a realistic example of life in the old west, either. Doesn’t matter to me, though. They’re simply fun entertainment, and a supreme example of a bygone cinematic era. To watch one of these is to be instantly transported back in time, even if the film itself is hardly a masterpiece. Doesn’t hurt that I grew up watching them on WAOH TV-29, either.

You know, I think the only time we’ve seen a legit B-Western here was when I looked at an old television broadcast of John Wayne’s Blue Steel, though going waaaaay back, the fascination was hinted at here and here, too. I’m going to rectify this omission today, because man, the DVD that recently came into my possession, it’s just jaw-dropping. And not in a good way. (But definitely in an entertaining way.)

Y’see, another movie-based interest of mine is a fondness for the, uh, weaker specimens. In other words, I love watching a good bad movie. And boy, in the realm of B-Westerns, I’m not sure it gets worse than this. Unbeknownst to you prior, that header pic up above wasn’t just an aesthetic choice on my part; in actuality, it was a harbinger of your destiny. Why? Because today’s subject can and must become a part of your life. Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you the 1934 Buddy Roosevelt anti-masterpiece, Range Riders…

I didn’t pick this DVD up by chance. Oh no, my knowledge of this film actually goes back to around 1999 or so. At the time, I was receiving Sinister Cinema’s big giant catalogs in the mail. In the years before practically anything and everything had been re-released on DVD, Sinister Cinema was the place to go for obscure films. (The company is still fantastic, too; you’d be well-advised to check out their website.) I’d spend the longest time pouring over those catalogs, figuratively drooling over all the interesting, new-to-me flicks they promised.

Almost every genre you could think of was (is) healthily represented by SC, and needless to say, that also included (includes) B-Westerns. Now, I had made a habit out of recording B-Westerns off of TV-29, so I was no stranger to these almost-forgotten artifacts of another cinematic day and age. But, the stuff SC had, man, a good deal of it was uber-rare. The included synopsis for each entry (and SC wasn’t shy about letting you know which flicks were good and which ones weren’t) only served to further whet my appetite.

Unfortunately, SC had a habit of phasing out older titles (presumably ones that weren’t selling in respectable numbers any longer). Keep in mind that I was only 13 or 14 years old at the time, and thus had even less money than I do now (which is really saying something). Therefore, a good many of the titles I wanted to order, I just never had the chance. And that’s where Range Riders enters the picture.

I wanted a lot of movies from SC, but as far as B-Westerns went, Range Riders was one of the biggies. Not because it was touted as being good, but rather because it was touted as being so BAD. Like I said, SC wasn’t shy about saying a film was terrible, and of all their B-Westerns, Range Riders got perhaps the most abuse of any entry in that section (though a few others were comparable). Naturally, I had to see it. Of course, my nigh-perpetually-empty pockets kept me from doing so, and eventually the title was removed from sale. This hurt me deep.

Needless to say, there was an eventual happy outcome to that ‘ordeal’ (ha!). Here and now, some 17 years later, only mere weeks ago, I discovered that many, many of the westerns I wanted back then have since been put out on DVD by Alpha Video. I had been picking up some single-disc Bela Lugosi releases online, and on a whim decided to see what was available Ken Maynard-wise (one of my favorite B-Western stars). And lo and behold, turns out Alpha hasn’t just put out some B-Westerns, they’ve put out tons of them! And not just the usual John Wayne and Roy Rogers fare, either, but also really oddball, obscure titles. Stuff that, quite frankly, I’m surprised they’d even bother releasing. Indeed, there’s so many titles that were once sold by Sinister Cinema, I’m guessing a common source is shared between the two companies. Or not, I don’t know.

So anyway, over the last several weeks, I’ve steadily added to my movie collection many of the titles I wanted to order from SC so many years ago but missed out on. I was totally like a kid flipping through those catalogs again. And, it seemed that each time I figured “no way they’ve put this one out on DVD,” a quick search proved me wrong. Naturally, the movie would then duly became mine. Some silent Ken Maynard western entries? Mine.Also, Ken Maynard’s final starring vehicle, 1944’s Harmony Trail? Mine. Lightning Bill (aka Lighting Bill, and one that SC also raked over the coals in their synopsis)? I couldn’t believe it, but that too became mine.

You see where I’m going with this, don’t you? Range Riders = MINE. A dream realized, finally! And at a low, low price that even *I* can afford! Alpha Video, you are now my friend and I officially forgive you for tricking me into buying Fury of the Wolf Man on VHS so many years ago. (And by “trick” I mean “not tell me upfront that the film was essentially unwatchable, such was its badness.”)

So, the DVD, I’ve got it, it’s mine. Observation: one thing I really like about Alpha’s single-disc reissues of whatever is that they often (but not always) use original poster art for the front covers. In my opinion, it’s a simple and easy, yet undeniably attractive, design decision. Now, I’m not sure if the artwork for Range Riders is from the original poster or not, and a Google search isn’t telling me what I need to know. Could be the original poster, or a licensed-but-unrelated painting, or even something Alpha themselves commissioned for this DVD release. I have a hard time believing Alpha had someone take the time to draw up a cover for a movie only 8 people would be interested in owning, especially since they’ve mocked up perfectly serviceable covers for their Maynard releases using stock photos and whatnot (I guess; here’s an example).

But on the other hand, if this is something hailing from Range Riders’ original release, the art doesn’t really accurately reflect Roosevelt’s character or the action in this movie, though that wouldn’t be so out-of-the-ordinary (and would be least of the problems with this film, honestly).

Look, no matter what, the cover is colorful and attractive, okay? It belies the actual product, but that’s not so out-of-the-ordinary, either. Sell it however you can, Alpha!

The synopsis on the back cover is about as helpful as it can be. No kidding, this movie is a mess on every front, and frankly, the most you’re going to gather from the plot is what the bare summary on the back describes. It’s less of a coherent movie and more like a bunch of vaguely-related scenes stitched together with some alarmingly stupid dialogue and horrible camera work. The fact Alpha felt the need to pad the description on the back with a mini-biography of star Buddy Roosevelt (an actor approximately 11 people know or care about nowadays) speaks volumes. Also, “Modestly budgeted” is an extremely polite way of saying “these things were cheaper than dirt.” And don’t let the color screenshots fool you, either; this is a black & white oater.

Also: Copyright 2010?! Yep, this has been out for awhile. Many (most?) of these Alpha B-Westerns have been out for years, actually. I believe my copy of Harmony Trail was copyrighted 2005. Obviously, I haven’t been paying enough attention! Otherwise, these would have all been mine long ago. To be fair, I’d never have thought the vast majority of these films would ever be sold by a real, on-store-shelves company; flicks like this, they just seemed like the sole territory of online specialty dealers. Not unlike Sinister Cinema, basically.

Even though these have been out for quite awhile now, I fear they won’t be in-print forever. These are just such niche western entries. I really wouldn’t be surprised if many of these were technically out of print now, and sellers are just still moving the stock they already have. (I have zero proof of that, mind you; I’m just saying that it wouldn’t shock me if it were true.) So, if you have any interest in films of this nature at all, I’d say ere on the side of caution and pick up a copy while you can – it’s not like these are all that pricey. Even though Range Riders is, without a doubt, an awful film, it’s wonderfully entertaining nevertheless. Think Plan 9 From Outer Space if you must; that kind of entertaining. If that kind of movie is up your alley, head on over to Amazon for a copy of Range Riders now! Please don’t let any of my criticism deter you from getting a copy. I don’t mean to steer anyone away from this one; on the contrary, Range Riders gets a HUGE recommendation from your truly!

Now, B-Westerns aren’t high art. They weren’t intended to be. These were depression and/or wartime cheapies, serving mostly as matinee fare and aimed squarely at the kids. So, judging one of John Wayne’s early, poverty row features against, say, Stagecoach or Red River, it just wouldn’t be right. B-Westerns have their own set of standards, standards that exist solely within this sub-genre of the, uh, genre. I’m not the first to point this out, of course, but it’s an ideal that’s worth repeating, and certainly something to keep in mind while watching a B-Western.

But, even with the slack that must, by nature, be given to these films, Range Riders comes up short. Woefully short. I mean, this movie is B-A-D. This is quite frankly the worst B-Western I’ve ever seen in my nearly 20 years of watching them. I’ve never seen any quite like it, and thus, I couldn’t stop watching in slack-jawed wonder the thundering stupidity that raged across my TV screen. This movie is great in all the worst ways.

Apparently, the B-Western often considered the worst in the genre is The Border Menace (coincidentally also released by Alpha – need), but the Plan 9 From Outer Space comparison to Range Riders (helpful user reviewer BrianV over at IMDb nails this) is apt. Sure, there may technically be some that are worse, but Range Riders is so inept in every way possible, so obliteratingly dumb, and yet so wildly entertaining, that it really does recall Plan 9. A western by nature won’t have the obvious special effect deficiencies that a Wood film did/does; it’s not like they have cowboys riding paper mache horses. But horrendous dialogue and inept plotting? Range Riders has those to spare! (Not to mention terrible acting, awful editing, wildly inconsistent audio, and camera work that leaves much to be desired…)

When I threw this DVD in the player, my excitement to finally be seeing this flick was dampened only slightly by the Alpha Video bug in the top-right corner of the screen. I understand their reasoning, but I’m not a big fan of video companies doing that. Luckily, it only popped up during the opening credits and the ending card. It took me nearly 20 years to finally obtain this movie, so I can easily live with a little logo in the corner for a minute or two.

Also, “Superior Talking Pictures.” You know a movie is older than dirt when the company behind it touted their ability to include speech! If I recall correctly, Sinister Cinema stated in their catalog synopsis that Superior Talking Pictures were anything but, which is wildly spot-on. Oh, it talks, and it does indeed count as a picture, but superior? Well…

(This isn’t the only Superior film I’ve seen, but it IS the worst – though I haven’t cracked into Lightning Bill yet, so the jury is still out on this subject that probably only I care about.)

So anyway, Range Riders. It concerns the “Bull Crawford Gang,” causing havoc in a Texas town. In fact, the first thing seen is them riding into a property auction and scaring off prospective bidders. Why? So they can get the land for cheap? Nope, they just want to eat! Seriously, that’s their reason for busting up the crowd; so they can have the free eats to themselves.

Up above, the gang is seen hassling “Pedro,” one of the protagonists and our comic relief for the duration. Pedro is clearly not Mexican, Pedro does not speak with a believable Spanish accent, and Pedro is so incredibly idiotic that merely calling him an “offensive stereotype” doesn’t quite seem like enough. He’s constantly doing so many stupid pratfalls and whatnot that just having him around seems like a liability. Some might even refer to the character as “mentally challenged,” and they’d have a real argument. I hate Pedro. (Or, as every character pronounces his name, “Pea-Dro.”)

Further evidence the gang doesn’t so much terrorize the townsfolk as they simply annoy them a whole lot: when the owner (“Waldon”) whose land the gang has just trespassed upon begins shooting at them, Bull himself sneaks around the side of the house, and rather than simply plugging Waldon right then and there like any self-respecting gangster would, instead reaches his hands through the window and bonks Waldon and his card-partner Sutton’s heads together. It’s a moment straight out of The Three Stooges, and wow is it strange. Nothing says “big bad bullying gang” like some lighthearted head-bonking!

And then, just to make sure the viewer knows this film isn’t even going to try to be realistic in any sense, Bull steps back from the window, aims, and blasts a bottle of ketchup sitting on a shelf inside. The merits of this action are dubious at best, and Bull’s position and angle outside make it highly unlikely that he could have even hit the bottle, but it does provide another moment of “hilarious” comic relief in which Waldon believes he’s been shot (ketchup all over him, y’see) but then cracks up when the the real substance is revealed.”Oh, this criminal could have easily blown my head off but didn’t? Hilarious!”

Okay, the film quality of Range Riders, obviously it’s not the best. It’s dusty and scratchy and so on, and I’m not convinced the print here wasn’t sourced from VHS originally (as Alpha’s Harmony Trail certainly appeared to be). Still, considering how cheaply it was made and subsequently how obscure it has become, I’m just glad it survives at all to this day. Films of a far bigger stature have become lost to time, after all.

That said, that screenshot above, don’t think that that picture accurately reflects the condition of the surviving print or Alpha’s transfer (or my screen-capping abilities, for that matter). Oh no, that’s the movie itself; astoundingly, it’s out of focus! Quite a few scenes in Range Riders are. In fact, that was one of the things Sinister Cinema harped on most in their catalog entry. At the time, I simply couldn’t fathom how a B-Western, as cheap as they usually were, could be that poorly produced. I kinda still can’t. Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s fantastic, though again, for all the wrong reasons.

I get it, I get it. It was the depression, and it was a poverty row film. Get it made fast and cheap, and get it out there. I understand how this could have been released in this state, but that still doesn’t lessen my astonishment at it.

(You want more astonishment? According to IMDb, and I admit I missed this the first time around, Range Riders has multiple actors in a single role, and multiple roles for single actors. Over the course of a 45 minute film! That’s a cheap movie! Read IMDb’s trivia section and see for yourself!)

Following that mildly irritating bit of carnage, Sutton bets Waldon that his son Dick (who is away at “Agricultural College”) could take out this gang single handed. When Waldon expresses his doubts, Sutton decides to write him (with a letter that begins “My dear Dick,” which, you know, that’s something that would probably be worded somewhat differently in a movie nowadays).

Cut to “Agricultural College,” where Dick and a couple of friends peruse the letter. That’s our hero, star Buddy Roosevelt as Dick Sutton, above. The wispy little mustache doesn’t inspire much confidence in him, but whatever. Dick seems vaguely apprehensive about going back, until his friends mention that the gang will probably be waiting for him at the train station and he should wear a disguise. From some reason, that’s what convinces Dick to go home. No kidding, he gets a wondrous look in his eye and announces “That’s it, I’ll do it!” Evidently Dick is swayed by only the smallest details, and not the fact his father and/or his hometown are (ostensibly) in imminent danger.

From there on out, our story is fully in motion. It’s up to Dick to put an end to the Crawford gang’s reign of terror (such as it is). What follows is mostly a jumbled mess of half-realized plotlines, strung together with some atrocious editing and truly face-palm-inducing dialogue.

This is our female protagonist, Elsie Waldon, as played by Barbara Starr. Starr wasn’t much of an actress, I’m sorry to say, and according to IMDb, she didn’t have very many films to her credit, of which Range Riders was the last. (What a way to go out!) Starr’s Elsie gets credit for (occasionally) being fairly gutsy, but she’s saddled with some truly moronic lines, which of course doesn’t do her character any favors.

Poor Barbara Starr. Her most notable achievements were marrying Harold Lloyd’s brother, starring in Range Riders, and now being immortalized on my stupid dumb blog. Just doesn’t seem right, man.

Want some examples of Elsie’s incredibly dumb dialogue? Okay, take for example this scene:

Crawford’s gang does indeed show up at the train station to “greet” Dick. It’s mentioned that Dick’s father has been bragging his son was coming in that day – way to keep that element of surprise by doing the dumbest thing you possibly could, buddy! Elsie overhears the gang’s plans, and wants to alert the sheriff. When the local grocer (I guess) informs her that the sheriff won’t do anything because he needs the gang’s votes, she heads off to the train station b yherself, though what she could possibly do there is never explained. (And how many people live in this town anyway? 9? 10? Wouldn’t rounding up the gang that’s supposedly terrorizing everyone earn the sheriff enough votes to make up for the loss of Crawford’s bunch?)

Meanwhile, Dick has taken the advice of his friends and arrived in disguise, which is that of a froo-froo college boy. Geeky bow tie, beret, the whole shtick. (To Range Riders’ credit, this is genuinely funny, if that’s what they were going for). It works too, because the gang pays him no mind. He runs into Elsie, and she quickly realizes it’s him, however. The dialogue that follows is painfully stupid:

Elsie: “Why Dick Sutton, what are you doing in this clothes? Have you gone crazy?!”

What do you mean what is he doing in those clothes? Obviously he eluded the gang, didn’t he?! Deductive reasoning can work wonders, Elsie.

But wait, it gets better after he quickly explains his disguise to her: “Well, why don’t you go off to the ranch first and see your dad, and find out what it’s all about?”

Find out about what? You saw his dad write the letter, Dick knows why he’s there! That’s why he’s back in town in the first place! Dick himself says as much, when he says, with a twisted little grin, “I’d like to have some fun with that gang!” Elsie’s beauty of a response: “Aw c’mon, don’t start any trouble!” Don’t start any trouble?! You’ve already GOT trouble! They’re troublemakers! THAT’S WHY DICK IS BACK IN TOWN! I like how she shifts from being prepared to alert the sheriff and then going to the train station herself, to basically telling Dick to stay out of it. Make up your mind, lady!

Dick’s idea of having “fun” with the gang is to rope five of them together, tie the line to a wagon, and then ride off. They almost instantly get out of the lasso, and since their horses are right there at the station, they’re able to give chase pretty much immediately. Boy, that sure was fun, Dick. There’s no way that’s not going to irk them mightily! Was that Dick’s main plan? Come back home and really, really annoy a gang?

An interminable chase scene follows. Out of nowhere, Pedro is there too, and of course he falls off the back of the wagon during it, which means Dick and Elsie have to circle around to get him. Man, is Pedro indispensable or what; why bother getting Dick back home when you’ve already got the incomparable Pedro on the premises?

At several points during the chase, there’s a close-up shot of Dick and Elsie in the wagon, going through the motions of riding; holding the reigns and the crop, bouncing up and down, etc. You know what would have been an even more convincing illusion of movement though? If they filmed this in front of a sky that didn’t feature a stationary cloud!

Dick’s next course of action is to borrow some clothes from Pedro and masquerade as a Mexican bandit or something. The merits of this endeavor are, like so much else in this film, dubious. I mean, why? What benefit is there to the bad guys thinking he’s Mexican, or them knowing he’s Dick Sutton? It just seems like a superfluous gesture, is all I’m saying.

And really, all he did was change his clothes. Okay, he uses a Spanish accent too, but it’s not exactly realistic or convincing. Otherwise, his appearance remains the same as “normal” Dick Sutton. So again, what’s the point?

But then, the world of Range Riders is a world where characters like Pedro are considered useful. That is, the normal rules don’t apply here.

At one point, to demonstrate their terrorizing of the populace, the gang takes a guy’s hat. Oh I get it, it shows their bullying in even the smallest matters or something like that. Nevertheless, Bull’s winking “Now you boys heard him give me that hat, didn’tcha?” after grabbing it comes off less like a rough and tumble gang leader and more like a cranky high school punk, but whatever.

This takes place outside of the local saloon, and while the newly-hatless man goes off to tattle, Bull and his gang head inside, where all he does is yammer about his “new” hat over and over. Seriously, he won’t shut up about it.

I love how hatless guy runs to the sheriff and gives him this line: “That man Bull Crawford is pickin’ on me sheriff! I want you to get my hat!” They actually gave those lines to a grown man! What, was the dialogue written by a kindergartner? “Oooh, big mean man pickin’ on me!”

Since it has already been established that the sheriff is a puss that won’t do anything about anything (“Aww, there’s no use causin’ trouble over a hat!”), it’s up to Dick and Pedro to head to the bar and retrieve the stolen item. They do so, and Dick then proceeds to make Bull eat a bar of soap; apparently Bull talks some smack about Waldon at this moment, but a convenient splice in the film renders the line MIA. No, really, Dick makes Bull wash his mouth out right in front of his gang. Again, Dick isn’t so much clearing the gang out of town as he is just messing with them. Still, it’s a scene that’s actually pretty funny…

…until Pedro trips and causes the distraction needed for the gang to start busting things up. Thanks for all your help, Pedro. Pedro’s failing in life is par for the course by this point in the film, so it’s no great surprise, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be filled with rage over it, either.

Range Riders features some fight scenes that are so widely amateurish, they wouldn’t fool a blind turtle. Now, B-Western fights weren’t always operatic achievements, but man, they’re taken to new levels of downright silliness here. A scene where Dick swings around by a rope in the bar is just so unbelievably ridiculous; the idea is that he’s swinging around and kicking the bad guys in mid-air, but he never actually gains any momentum to do this. Rather, he just kind of bumps into them whilst hanging from the rope, which of course causes them to scatter as if they’ve just been hit by a wrecking ball or something. Did Superior think anyone would buy this? Even the kids had to have seen right through it!

And the fistfights! There’s some fistfightin’ alright, but they’re less drag-down, knock-out brawls and more like a bunch of guys just flailing their arms about all willy nilly. Buddy Roosevelt in particular, man, any hopes of him being a matinee hero had to have been shattered when audiences saw him winging his arms about wildly, without any discernible sense of genuine fighting ability. And since there’s no sound effects to accentuate any of the punches, the brawls all come off more like pillow-less pillow fights instead of the dramatic battles they were intended to portray.

The fighting action is lame, and Dick can’t decide whether he can hold his own or not. At one point, he’s seen taking on the whole gang at once and coming out victorious. But then later, he pretty much has his derriere handed to him, not that it matters, since the gang then rides off, leaving his unconscious body on the ground. Of course, they later pontificate on what they’d do to him if they had the chance! Does it get any more pointlessly incompetent than that?!

There’s some nonsense about a map to a goldmine (owned by the wonderfully-named “Hardpan”) that takes up the focus of the last several minutes of the film, but it really just makes for more of the same action we’ve already seen. I do love how our protagonists are surprised, yet only mildly annoyed, each time the gang shows up; they’ll drive them off, figure they’re safe from then for awhile, only to be irritated when that “measly” crew comes back in short order! What, you haven’t figured out the M.O. of these guys by now? Did you just get Dick back in town on a hunch?

(And to prove she lacks the power of accumulative memory, Elsie again suggests they go get the sheriff.)

This is a B-Western, so of course there’s a happy ending. The Crawford gang is eventually defeated, rounded up, and brought to the sheriff, who I guess can’t ignore them any longer. In a shudderingly stupid moment, the sheriff drags them out of the car they’re contained in, and lets them walk into his office – unassisted and under their own power! Yeah, that’s believable!

In a romance that wasn’t even hinted at prior, the hero gets the girl, but not before we hear this immortal bit of closing dialogue:

Elsie: “Now that you’ve saved Hardpan’s mine, you have got to stop being a bad Spanish boy!”

Dick: “Well then, I’ll be a gay caballero!”

You can file that under “movie lines that would have a totally different meaning nowadays.”

Ah, another budget DVD for the pile (no, M*A*S*H season six isn’t actually a budget set, but I’m not taking another, rectified closing pic). And boy, was this one a doozy! After roughly 17 years of build-up, Range Riders did not disappoint. It’s everything Sinister Cinema said it would be – and more. It’s incomprehensibly inept in every facet, but don’t take that to mean you should avoid it. Oh no, it’s pretty fantastic. Like I said before, it’s wonderfully entertaining in spite of itself. You can’t help but stare at it in slack-jawed wonder. 1934 was a simpler time, for sure, but even so, this is exponentially amateurish. I wonder if Superior realized that, or if they even cared? Rumor has it this was filmed in only two days and on a budget of $2500, so I guess they’d take whatever they got. (And, as bad as it is, it’s not like I could do any better in that amount of time or with that budget.)

I know I’m six years late to the party, but even so, I’ve got to commend Alpha Video for finally making this and other mega-obscure B-Westerns widely available. I never thought it would happen, but it has, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

When people talk of good bad movies, you’ll probably never hear Range Riders mentioned. Which is a shame, because it’s a great bad movie. If I have anything to say about it, that will soon change, since this article will undoubtedly go viral several seconds after being posted. (Yeah. Sure. Uh huh.)

The bottom line is: the world must know about Range Riders and I will not rest until it does! Pick yourself up a copy and experience the magic for yourself!

WJW TV-8’s The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show – 1983’s “Easy Money” (February 6, 1993)

You know, I had an entirely different post planned for this update, but then this, this fell into my lap. Now under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t do another big huge Big Chuck & Lil’ John episode recap so soon after the last one, especially since these things aren’t exactly quick write-ups. But, when a new-to-me vintage episode falls into my hands, guess what? Everything else gets put on hold. That’s how I roll.

Plus, it’s my stupid dumb blog, I’ll write about what I want, when I want. I’ll post about BC & LJ every friggin’ day if I so desire. You keep pushin’ me, I just might, too.

So yes, today we’re taking another trip back to Cleveland weekend late nights via the legendary “Big Chuck” Schodowski and “Lil’ John” Rinaldi. February 6, 1993, to be exact. They were on Saturday nights at the time, and for that Saturday night, their movie was the 1983 Rodney Dangerfield opus, Easy Money. That’s the commercial-break bumper up above, if you don’t believe me.

This comes courtesy of my good friend Jesse, who we have of course seen here before. Jesse gave me a big ol’ bag of tapes, and even though I’m still in the process of going through them, I think it’s pretty safe to say this one was the de facto cool winnins of the bunch. Brewster’s Millions and The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, okay, sure, neat. BUT, upon first glance, it was the channel 8 listing helpfully clipped out of a TV Guide and taped to the cover that got me jumpin,’ and it was totally due to that 2 hour and 30 minute running time. Easy Money is NOT that long of a film, and a 2 hour time slot would have been sufficient to cover it – under normal circumstances.

Therefore, I was nearly positive this would be an episode of The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show. As I’ve mentioned before, their show, especially the late night installments, were often pretty lengthy affairs. So, upon seeing that listing, it really only took me a few minutes to grab hold of the nearest VCR, throw the tape in, and cue it up to an appropriate spot. In just those few minutes, I simply couldn’t fathom this being anything other than Big Chuck & Lil’ John.

Needless to say, I was correct. I love it when that happens!

There was no introductory host segment like that show we looked at last time had; there was an initial skit (which we’ll see in a bit), then the opening “King Kong” fanfare (above), and then another skit (which we’ll also see in a bit), before heading straight into the movie. Nothing too unusual about all this; that’s how they did things back then. It’s not unlike how this episode we saw began, except things are slightly newer this time around.

The famous “King Kong” opening had been updated by ’93 (actually, it had been updated by, at least, 1990, as my partial recording of The Final Terror attests). As you’ll recall from one of my BC & LJ Laurel & Hardy show posts, the open being used prior was a modified version of an intro dating back to the Hoolihan days. As fun as it was, by the late-1980s, it was showing its age.

And actually, for this newer variation, by local TV standards, it’s pretty impressive. It’s the same basic ‘plot’ as before: Chuck & John are milling about outside the WJW studios, they notice King Kong (or similar giant ape) on the roof, they run back inside, and the ape starts pounding on the place. This time around, he/she/it even breaks through the ceiling and grabs the fellas, and subsequently slams them into each other, which brings the intro to a close and a start to the show proper.

The neat thing about this ‘new’ opening is that the special effects are stop-motion animated, which gives the proceedings a level of realism that, quite frankly, you wouldn’t expect. The Kong model, while clearly not a product of Hollywood, looks good and is animated very well. There were other Kong-themed show opens animated like this (I assume they all came later), but this one is my favorite, simply because it keeps up with the ‘tradition’ while updating it accordingly, but not so much so that it feels shoehorned in.

Or something like that. Look, I just like it, okay?

(You can occasionally still see this opening on their current 30-minute, skits-only show.)

So anyway, 1983’s Easy Money. I have this movie. I like this movie. (I like the title track by Billy Joel, too.) No, it’s certainly not a horror or sci-fi flick; Chuck & John weren’t always running those by this point in their run. But, it’s a pretty funny early-1980s comedy, one that I haven’t seen in awhile, so I’m okay with its inclusion here. If nothing else, I’m familiar with it, which puts it one-up on most of the crap I get.

I first became acquainted with Easy Money back around 1999/2000 or so. I was already an established tape-head by that point, so when the tanning salon my mom frequented had a selection of VHS’ for sale in the lobby, heck yes I was gonna tag along to check ’em out!

Side Note: Yes, I know how weird that sounds; VHS tapes for sale at a tanning salon. As I recall it, the owner also had a video store, and was using his tanning establishment(s) to get rid of some of the overstock. He had more than one location, and two of them had tapes for sale. A third, which I guess was affiliated with the same guy, didn’t; I’ll never forget the look of utter confusion on the counter girl’s face when I stepped in and asked if there were any VHS tapes for sale at that third location. She had to have thought I was totally out of my mind! Hey, there was precedent for my question, lady!

Anyway, I picked up several tapes over the course of several tag-along visits. Come to think of it, I still have most (all?) of them, which mildly surprises me. Easy Money was one such purchase (yep, I own it officially, and you can too), and my acquiring it fulfilled two criteria of mine: 1) It was a Vestron Video release, which was (and is) a label I had fondness for, and 2) it played into my then-ongoing quest for the “definitive” 1980s comedy – a quest that has since abated considerably but was indeed an area of high interest to me back then.

So, that was my introduction to Easy Money, and Rodney Dangerfield movies in general. I enjoyed it, and I still have it, but aside from catching some bits and pieces on TV, I hadn’t watched the film since that initial viewing. Nevertheless, I would consider it my favorite Dangerfield film, a case only bolstered by the fact it was once run on The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show. (Though, I am one of apparently 8 people that enjoyed Meet Wally Sparks, so maybe my perception of what’s a good Dangerfield film and what’s not is decidedly skewed.)

That’s the title screen up above, by the way.

The plot? It’s one of those “Y’all will inherit X amount of money if you ______________ in a certain period of time” deals. Not especially original, even in 1983, but you can’t argue with results; Easy Money is pretty funny!

Dangerfield plays Monty Capuletti who is the definitive slob: he drinks too much, he smokes too much (cigarettes…among other things), he gambles too much, he eats too much. You get the idea. Monty is satisfied with his job as a baby photographer and has a happy family…except for his mother-in-law, who disapproves of him for so, so many reasons.

Mother-in-law also happens to be filthy rich. So, when she unexpectedly dies in a plane crash, Monty and his family stand to inherit the vast majority of the fortune…with a stipulation in the will that Monty cleans up his act. He has to drop the drinking, smoking, gambling, and weigh no more than 175 pounds at the end of a year. Monty has his reservations, but decides to accept the challenge.

(I had a hard time finding a satisfactory screenshot to summarize all this. So, above: Monty attempting exercise at the start of the year-long challenge.)

Subplots include mumsy’s scheming associate trying to break Monty so he can collect the fortune, and Monty’s daughter’s fractured new marriage to one Julio, who ironically (or is it coincidentally?) isn’t approved of by Monty. Also, Monty’s best friend is played by Joe Pesci. (Just thought I should mention that somewhere.)

Lotsa funny stuff here, especially when Monty and his mother-in-law go at each other (“You were the inspiration for twin beds!”). Joe Pesci’s character also gets some great lines, including a personal favorite in which he assures Monty the wedding cake they just picked up is safe in the back of his work van – it’s wedged against a toilet!

Unfortunately, this television broadcast of Easy Money suffers from some pretty obvious editing. Now granted, this wasn’t exactly Disney in the first place; it’s an R-rated early-1980s comedy. There was no way this could have aired on broadcast television unedited back then. Or even now, for that matter. Still, there seems to be entire scenes, or at least large chunks of them, excised here, and while the saltier language was naturally muted, much of the tamer, uh, salty language was also silenced. I guess it’s understandable for 1993, but nevertheless, it destroys several otherwise-hilarious gags, including the final punchline.

Scroll back up and take a second look at that TV Guide clipping; I’m really surprised they even bothered to include that viewer discretion warning. Perhaps that had to be based on what the film originally was, but as it was broadcast here? It’s really no worse than much of the prime time television of the era. And nowadays, in this cut-for-TV form, it’s practically G-rated! (Well, PG-rated.)

But then, maybe it’s a testament to the original screenplay that even with all the editing done here, it’s still a very funny movie. You just can’t keep a good Rodney down!

(Fun Fact: Saturday Night Live-staple James Signorelli has only directed two feature films – this one and, coincidentally, a movie we took a look at back in April. Interesting surprisins!)

I gotta say, not every movie I watched back in the late-1990s/early-2000s has held up all that well for me, and I admit I wasn’t sure if Easy Money would be one that had when I dove into this broadcast. To my pleasant surprise, even with all the editing-for-TV, I enjoyed it! Maybe even more so than I did when I first saw the movie! It sure ain’t high art, but then, it wasn’t supposed to be. Indeed, this is really pretty great weekend entertainment, the kind of thing you saw endlessly on local channels back then. Sure, the genre wasn’t Big Chuck & LIl’ John’s original bread-and-butter, but something tells me this made for a great Saturday night back in February 1993 nevertheless.

And speaking of Chuck & John…

This episode kicks off with a genuinely classic skit, one of my favorites. The late Mary Allen (who was wonderful in every skit she appeared in) plays the frazzled owner of a new TV. Despite having just bought it, the thing is already on the fritz. Lil’ John, as the repairman, quickly deduces the problem: she didn’t buy a TV, she bought a microwave!

I’m not sure if this this counts as a “Certain Ethnic” skit or not. It may just be Mary Allen in the typical ‘scatterbrained’ role. Either way though, I love it.

After the King Kong open, another in a line of spoofs on The Club. Remember The Club? The anti-theft device that attached to steering wheels and were wildly popular? (Or so the near-constant commercials had you believe, anyway.) BC & LJ did a number of skits goofing on the device. This one is “The Slug,” a novelty fist that attaches to your steering wheel, and when a thief breaks into your car, well, you can guess the outcome. (Especially if you looked at the screenshot above!)

For some reason, Chuck always made a convincing police officer whenever the role was called for in one of their skits…

The first host segment of the night. Even though the episode is already in progress, it basically serves as a welcome. It’s mentioned that they just came from a Police-American Police Association banquet (were BC & LJ broadcasting live?), and Chuck states he didn’t realize there were that many Polish-American cops! He also states he was almost one of them, which is actually a true story (you gotta read his book). A special shout-out is given to the Cleveland Police Mounted Unit for helping out with the opening Club skit – which mean that could have been a newbie that night! If that was the case, it’s always fun to see the initial outing of a skit that has been rerun near-endlessly in the years since. And if not, hey, still a funny bit.

I never noticed that the little lights on the building backdrop behind them blink on and off – I wonder if that was later done away with, which is why it never caught my attention?

Trivia time! As I’ve mentioned before, I usually knew these, but of course I was never on the show, and thus couldn’t reap the sweet, sweet rewards of my useless knowledge. Even when the prize wasn’t up to my personal tastes (such as in this instance; four tickets to the Cleveland Home & Flower Show), man, I still just wanted to win.

The question: What show gave Rodney his big break? The Answer: Johnny Carson’s The Tonight Show. A funny moment occurs when Chuck can’t hear John giving him the answer from the audience – “I can’t hear you, but give it to her!” Even though The Tonight Show was indeed correct, a quick look at Dangerfield’s Wikipedia page gives the impression that The Ed Sullivan Show probably would have been a more accurate answer. How would you have liked to have gotten that question right, but deemed otherwise? And on TV, no less!

Still, it was early 1993; no real internet and so on. Kinda fun to look back at a time when every single little bit of info wasn’t at your fingertips.

Another all-time favorite skit, “The Lil’ Flash.” I imagine this goes back to 1990/1991, when the original The Flash series was airing on CBS (despite loving the character, I don’t think I ever really watched the show – granted, I was only like 4 or 5 at the time). Naturally, there had to be a BC & LJ parody. (As far as I know, there was only ever this one skit in the “series.”)

Here, the WJW payroll has been stolen (“Look at all this loot!” “Yeah, and probably half of it’s Goddard’s!”), and seeing the crime from his “police lab” window, Lil’ Flash springs into action. He’s pretty much the same as ‘regular’ Flash, red suit, fast, etc. He’s just, you know, smaller. And so, he speeds off after the thieves, through a combination of quick-cuts and sped-up film (Chuck follows along at a comparatively plodding pace, which is pretty funny).

The thieves eventually get away. Why? Lil’ Flash had a sneaker blow-out at 120 miles per hour!

Next up: the Big Chuck & Lil’ Just caption contest, a feature that either became increasingly rare or was phased-out entirely in the following years. Basically, a still-picture would be held up, and viewers would send in funny captions. You know, a caption contest.

Here, the photo was that of a young lady, seemingly wearing nothing but, uh, currency of some sort. I know not what movie or TV show the still is from, but it certainly provided for some (relatively) suggestive jokes from the viewers!

And, the caption contest winners got these: Big Chuck & Lil’ John flying discs! A big one for Chuck, and a little for John! These are beyond cool and I now want one of each very, very much.

Another funny skit, though to those not used to the humor of our guys, it may very well come as, well, stupid.

It’s just one of a long, long line of skits featuring Chuck’s “Certain Ethnic” character, Stash. In this one, he has just gained employment at a butcher shop. When someone comes in and orders shaved ham (as opposed to sliced ham), Stash does the literal thing and, uh, shaves it.

I don’t care what you say, *I* think it’s funny.

More trivia. Winner this time around got two passes to any General Cinema theater in the area, which, if prices back then were anything like they are today, that’s a savings of, what, $97 or so? Before food, anyway! HAW HAW HAW! (Winner also got a swanky Aladdin poster.)

The question this time around is: what restaurant did Dangerfield open in New York? C’mon, that’s just painfully easy, and yet stunningly, apparently nobody knows it! Finally, a guy stands up and gives the correct response of “Dangerfield’s,” but man, I can’t believe there was any hesitation whatsoever there!

Here’s another Easy Money bumper, if you can even call it that. It’s a picture posted on the back of the set that the camera occasionally focuses on. No, it’s not as ‘professional’ looking as the ‘official’ one that serves as the header for this post, but I still dig it.

We’re gonna see more about this momentarily, but at the time, there was a weekly Hilarities comedy club night sponsored by WJW, every Sunday evening. To help promote the event, Hilarities regular Dino Tripodis (sp?) was there to do a little stand-up (he’d be at Hilarities the that Sunday, as well). Obviously, there’s not a whole lot of time for him to do a ton of material, but what he does do is pretty funny. My favorite part is his reminiscing over his mother’s fried chicken – which was just frozen Banquet fried chicken, and which she took credit for cooking! “Gee ma, nobody pre-heats an oven like you!”

The “Oldie But Goodie” skit of the night, from 1972. Not a Kielbasy Kid entry, though it certainly could have been. Two cowpokes (Slim and Jim) show off their shooting skills, with Slim’s declaration that he’ll spell Jim’s name out in bullets as the showstopper – though his spelling leaves much to be desired.

I love the opening exchange between the two at the start of the skit: “Hi Jim.” “Oh, hiya Slim.” “Where you been?” “Not too bad.”

And finally, the traditional show-closing “Pajama Party,” which, as I’ve mentioned before, was done away with by the time I started watching, but needless to say was still in-practice in early-1993.

Remember at the start of the show, when they mentioned they had just come from the Police-American Police Association banquet, and I questioned if this show was being broadcast live? The moment you’re seeing on the left up above is why: they were given some hats and t-shirts at the banquet earlier. I mean, it might not have been live, but they sure did a good job of faking it if it wasn’t! (I remember meeting Big Chuck & Lil’ John for the first time at the Fox 8 store in Summit Mall in the Summer of 2001, and Chuck mused something about the lines of doing the shows live at one point, but implying they no longer were. Can anyone shed light on when/where/how?)

As for the rest of Pajama Party, it plays out like they always did: viewer-submitted jokes, and this time, they actually had audience members come up and tell them on-screen. The entire audience was made up of the Cuyahoga Falls Parks & Recreation associates, and each one that comes up, they’re jokingly asked where they’re from, which only got funnier each time.

Most of the jokes are pretty corny, which wasn’t unusual, and this time around, there’s a few that would be considered politically incorrect nowadays. Up above on the right, her joke just barely skirts the issue: “Why do people from a certain ethnic background have trouble becoming pharmacists? They can’t figure out how to get those little bottles into the typewriter!”

---

There was actually a pretty entertaining assortment of commercials found during this broadcast, both of the local and national variety. Here now are just 6 of the ads I found particularly interesting…

Shrine Circus in Cleveland Ad

Narrated by Big Chuck & Lil’ John themselves (much to my chagrin, they don’t appear in it; they are merely heard as voiceovers), it’s a commercial for the Shrine Circus, which would be hitting Cleveland later that month. This is accompanied by the standard images you’d expect to find in a circus commercial: acrobats, clowns, guys flyin’ through the air, trained bears, and big honkin’ elephants.

Not a revolutionary spot for a circus by any means, but well done, and Chuck & John voiceovers are always nice. (Not that you can hear them here, of course, but still…)

USA Baby Ad

I’m not including this one because I’m such a huge, huge fan of baby-themed stores. I mean, sure, they’re necessary and all, especially if you have a kid. (Would you go to one if you didn’t?) But since I have no child to call my own, the thought of visiting such an establishment just makes my eyes figuratively glaze over.

Simply put, USA Baby sold all the stuff you’d need to keep your screamin’ kid and/or judgmental relatives happy. Cribs, strollers, you know the deal. Naturally, that’s what this commercial is all about, a store-wide sale on all that.

So, why is this ad here? Weird nostalgia. Y’see, back when I was a young’un, 4 or 5 years old, my next door neighbor and I had a joke regarding these commercials; whenever they’d come on, we’d shout “USA Fat Bay-Bay!” in a high-pitched voice. Apparently we thought that was the funniest thing in the whole wide world. It sounds supremely stupid, and it was, but that’s the kind of crap that amuses you when you’re that age. Well, it did us, anyway.

But wait, there’s more! I recall being in kindergarten (come to think of it, I was in kindergarten when this broadcast originally aired – yikes!), and I decided regale a friend with this stupid little saying from home. He went and told on me for some reason. While I didn’t get in trouble, it was then that I first realized my weird sense of humor wouldn’t necessarily go over with the masses with the same aplomb as it did in more private settings. For proof that this continues to this day, see the previously-linked Monsterfestmania article.

Like I said, weird nostalgia.

Boboli Pizza Shells Ad

The jaded children of today probably wouldn’t get it, but during my formative years, Boboli was a strange sort of phenomenon with kids my age. Or maybe it was just me, I don’t remember. It probably had much to do with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and their always eating pizza, either way.

They still make Boboli, but there was definitely a unique aura about it in the early-1990s. Sure, there’s been make-yo-own-pidza-at-home kits forever, but Boboli was something else: a pizza “shell,” which was really the crust, already formed and ready to be filled with the sauce and toppings of your choice, and cooked. It was supposed to combine the “fun” of making a pizza at home with the quickness of whatever.

Truth be told, it was the ever-present commercials that really made Boboli. For a time, they seemed to be everywhere, and thus, for a relatively brief period, Boboli was almost big enough to be recognized along with the big boys; Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Little Caesars and so on. Didn’t hurt that the Italian guy that was in all of these was just reminiscent enough of Balki from Perfect Strangers, either.

Anyway, this ad itself. The Italian spokesman that did all of these commercials gives the standard pitch, while his mother yaps at him from the other room. Look, these were all pretty much the same, okay? You can only pitch pizza shell crust things so many ways.

Video Game Exchange Ad

YESSSSSS.

A commercial for the much-missed local Video Game Exchange chain, showing up during an episode of Big Chuck & Lil’ John? That alone is enough to make me absolutely flip my beans. But what makes it even better is that it’s a new-to-me example! Cool winnins!

Longtime readers may recall the time I looked at a 1992 commercial for the chain. If you don’t, don’t worry about clicking on that link; it’s fairly awful. But, it points to my longstanding fondness for the store. I loved the Video Game Exchange, especially when I acquired my first NES; the games were still being sold new in stores at that point, but they were being phased out fast and cheap, which meant that VGE had used games really cheap. I used to get back-issues of Game Players at the Dollar Tree (an awesome occurrence in and of itself), find interesting-looking NES games previewed in them, and then go to VGE in hopes that they had whatever. It was fantastic.

This commercial points to the major selling-point regarding VGE: you could try the games before you bought them. Yep, they had consoles and TVs set-up so you could decide whether something was worth your hard-earned buck bills or not. Indeed, that’s the plot (such as it is) for this ad; some guy (above left, duh) bought a used game, but because he couldn’t try before he buy bought it, he wound up with a dud, and now there’s not much he can do about it. It’s a scenario I think many of us can relate to, especially if you hail from the 8-bit/16-bit era like I do. Though, the point probably would have been better made had they not used the Super Mario Bros. soundtrack to demonstrate the game the guy was playing. Man, ain’t no one didn’t (doesn’t) love Super Mario Bros. Unless he was one of those Alex Kidd loyalists, in which case, why is he playing Nintendo?

‘Course, after all that, they go into the standard shots of people shopping at VGE, trying-before-buying, etc. In that respect, this one isn’t all that different from the first ad we looked at. But, this one does a better job of demonstrating just what made Video Game Exchange so fantastic. Times are certainly different nowadays, but that doesn’t change the fact that I miss the place somethin’ fierce.

WJW TV-8’s Hilarities Night Starring Lil’ John Ad

Told ya we’d hear more about this in a bit.

Unlike the previous spot, this wasn’t a new one to me, but finding it during a broadcast of Big Chuck & Lil’ John, man, it just works. Sponsored by WJW and hosted by Lil’ John himself, every Sunday evening the “biggest names in comedy; no amateurs!” were at Hilarities. I’m really not sure what WJW’s involvement was in all this, beyond running promos for it, and of course Lil’ John, but whatever. (Lil’ John provides the voiceover for the spot, too.)

Obviously they’re still wildly popular, but from, say, the late-1980s to mid-1990s, man, stand-up comedians were a huge, seemingly untouchable business. The really popular ones even got their own sitcoms! This ad is a nice reminder of that early-1990s popularity, especially when it tries to insult you in a stand-up comedian-ish way. The opening pitch: “Oh sure, you’re real busy Sunday night!” And then at the end “The only thing funnier than your social calendar!” All courtesy of that Lil’ John voiceover, naturally.

Next Week: Lone Wolf McQuade Promo

As was par for the course, before the the closing segment of The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show, an excerpt for the next week’s movie was shown. This time around, it was the 1983 Chuck Norris epic Lone Wolf McQuade. The clip? Chuck is a Texas Ranger of some sort, he beats up a bunch of guys, and those he doesn’t beat up, he shoots. I haven’t seen the movie, but I imagine this was all integral to the plot.

---

And there you have it. From February 6, 1993, a whopping 24 years ago this coming February, it’s Rodney Dangerfield’s Easy Money, as presented by Big Chuck & Lil’ John. How cool is that?! This was not something I expected to find, but MAN, cool, cool winnins. Chuck and John always are, though.

As a final note, last night on their new skits-only show, Chuck closed the episode with a saying that was so prescient, I’m not convinced he’s not spying on me: “The hardest thing to find in life is easy money.” GET IT??? There’s a message or a connection or something in there somewhere, methinks! I could work out a deep meaningful connection between the movie and the quote, but I’m tired.

(By the way, Lil’ John’s response to those words of wisdom? “Goodness knows we haven’t found it here!”)

WBFF TV-45 – 4:30 PM Superman Airings Print Ad (1976)

I thought this cool little item would make a nice, quick post-Labor Day, uh, post. (Hope everyone had a great holiday, by the way!)

Hailing from Baltimore, Maryland’s WBFF TV-45, or rather, a TV Guide from the appropriate area, it’s a 1976 print advertisement for their 4:30 PM weekday showings of Adventures of Superman, the legendary 1950s TV series starring George Reeves. As one of my favorite shows, I just couldn’t resist adding this small bit of memorabilia to my ever-growing collection of crap stuff.

(Even though we haven’t seen anything related to the channel prior to this post, I’ve actually got a lot of material from WBFF in my personal archives. My favorite? A television promo for Morgus The Magnificent; he was syndicated to 45 in the late-1980s!)

This small clipping was actually on eBay for the longest time; I kept adding it to my watch list, then thinking better of it and taking it it off, only to add it again. Even though it was only a couple of bucks, even after shipping, I just couldn’t decide if I wanted to drop some of my increasingly limited funds on such a tiny ad. Eventually, obviously, I took the plunge. And you know what? I’m all the better for it, because I love this ad!

Most of that love has to with the artwork. I mean, just look at it up there! It’s obviously of a local, ‘homemade’ variety, but that’s not meant to be a slam in the slightest; not only is the artowkr perfectly competent, but the relatively unique flavor it projects, in addition to the 4:30 PM timeslot, to me it totally evokes the imagery of a generation of kids being introduced to reruns of this series via local after-school showings. It doesn’t take much stretching of the imagination to bring those images to mind, either; Supes is everlastingly popular, and his live-action series is (well, I guess was) a perfect fit for after-school television. Not just these Baltimore broadcasts, either, but really anywhere in the U.S. was a good fit for the ‘Man.

Plus, in general, the ad just looks cool. It even kinda sorta reminds me of the label art for the Atari 2600 Superman game, though of course that wasn’t around yet.

I asked the two most knowledgeable Superman-experts I know, my good friends Jesse “The Yess Man” Vance and Mike Olszewski, if they were familiar with this artwork. It was a new one on both (Jesse theorized it was an in-house artist at TV Guide), and trust me, those guys know their Supes. So, a piece of George Reeves Superman memorabilia that’s (in all likelihood) unique to a specific area? My purchase was wise. I’m not from nor have ever been to Baltimore, but nevertheless, this is the sort of thing that finds an instant place in my heart, simply because I love local broadcasting so much. Especially old local broadcasting.

What’s my cool Adventures of Superman ad residing in? Why, one of those plastic baseball card holders, of course! I’ve got a bunch of these from the mid/late-1990s, when people still thought baseball cards would retain their value. I had to remove some hapless players from this particular case, but sorry guys, George Reeves wins. He usually does. Y’all can keep your Honus Wagners and whatnot, I’m preserving Superguy!

The pic above gives a good indication of the actual scale of the ad. Needless to say, it was literally cut out of a TV Guide, and also needless to say, it’s somewhat smaller than an actual baseball card. Still, looks snazzy in that plastic holder, doesn’t it? I’m tempted to drag this with me to card conventions (they still have those, right?), not to trade or sell, but merely to show off. Who wouldn’t turn green with envy?!

On second thought, maybe comic book conventions would be a better place to stoke my inflated and totally unwarranted ego.

I don’t usually do print advertisements here (Zacherley was a notable exception), but if all goes according to plan, that will begin changing soon. You see, I want to expand to feature even more facets of vintage television broadcasting. The articles on actual television airings, sure, those are my bread-and-butter. But, things like this print ad also need to be showcased; it’s an indelible, relatively obscure, legitimate piece of television history. And frankly, if I don’t take it upon myself to archive this (and ads like it) in some way, what guarantee is there that someone else will? In a strange way, it feels like my duty. I’ve been granted strange, fantastic powers – just like Superman!

So anyway, there you have it: a small print advertisement for Adventures of Superman on Baltimore’s WBFF TV-45, from 1976. When I look at it, I don’t just see some cool artwork and an airtime; I also see the era it hails from, and the potential viewers it was targeting. In a way, it allows me to take part in that bygone aspect of local broadcasting, however small it may be. It’s a cool feeling, one I never get tired of, and one that I hope never goes away.

WBNX TV-55 – The Ghoul’s Presentation of 1940’s “The Devil Bat” (January 28, 2000)

A promise fulfilled!

Remember a bit over a month ago, when I babbled about my super cool budget Bela Lugosi DVD collection? You dont?! Well, that hurts me deep. Anyway, in that article, I mentioned my desire to review some locally-hosted Bela Lugosi, my attempt at a post regarding Invisible Ghost on The Ghoul, and my eventual termination of the whole project. I also mentioned my initial choice of Invisible Ghost over The Ghoul’s presentation The Devil Bat, which I soon came to regret. (The Invisible Ghost episode just didn’t give me enough to work with, y’see.)

Well, it’s rectification time! I dug out the VHS recording I made of The Devil Bat via WBNX TV-55’s revived The Ghoul Show way back in January of 2000, and needless to say, that’s our subject for today.

Even better, this is our first real episode of The Ghoul seen here at the blog! Oh sure, we saw 1982’s Poltergeist on the program, but that wasn’t really a Ghoul show, not the way it was meant to be, anyway. And yes, we did take a brief look at his 1998 Santa Claus episode, but that article wasn’t dedicated solely to him. Nope, this is our first real foray into the show that made up many, many of my Friday nights.

And no kidding, as soon as that opening montage above popped up on-screen (“IT’S THE GHOUL SHOWWWOW,” as performed by local band Destination), I was right back to almost-14-year-old me, relaxing on the couch on a Friday night at 11:30 PM. Powerful nostalgia, this one is.

Unlike Invisible Ghost, which had a lot of content but not much I could adequately write about, this episode is an example of The Ghoul Show as I prefer to remember it. There’s a few skits, but most of the host segments are just studio-based screwing around, which, in my opinion, was when The Ghoul was at his best. This is laid-back, fun, Friday-night entertainment, courtesy of Ron Sweed’s legendary horror host.

You know what’s funny? I recall watching this episode as it aired (and as this recorded, obviously), but prior to pulling this tape out, I couldn’t remember nearly anything about it. And to be frank, I am 99.999% positive I never watched it again afterwards. This means that when I sat down to finally convert my VHS recording to DVD for posterity (a conversion that came out beautifully, thanks to my cute lil’ 6-head VCR), all of it was essentially new to me. This is about as close to recreating those Friday nights of my teen years as I can manage in this day and age.

I’m serious. That sense of anticipation for the weekly dose of Ghoul Power, it all came flooding back as I watched this, a feeling I wasn’t expecting to be nearly as powerful as it was. Everything just clicked this episode, making it a terrific example of just what I loved so much about those Friday nights over a decade ago. This isn’t high-art, nor was it supposed to be; this was (is) legit kick-off-the-weekend entertainment, Cleveland-style!

One thing I really liked right off the bat: there was a proper introductory host segment. Y’see, for many episodes, there’d be the opening montage, and then typically, a silly skit, apropos of nothing in particular but fun nonetheless. Why are there streamers and confetti all over The Ghoul in the screenshot above? Because it was his birthday weekend! Needless to say, that sets the tone for the rest of the episode. The show was always fun (well, maybe not always, when you take the “Sunday era” into account), but there’s a real “party” mood permeating this one, for obvious reasons.

We’ll get to all of that in due time, but first, the movie…

1940’s The Devil Bat, one from Bela Lugosi’s poverty row output, in which he produces giant killer bats to attack his enemies. Less than a decade removed from the release of Dracula, and Bela was (mostly) relegated to doing films like this. On paper, it sounds downright insulting. And yes, it’s the kind of movie that should be so far beneath Bela, the script wouldn’t have been offered to him in the first place. Things didn’t work out that way though; Bela was typecast as Dracula somethin’ awful, and his heavy Hungarian accent didn’t help matters, either. So, as the 1940s dawned, he was increasingly forced to take projects like this one. Befitting a man of his stature? Not really. But, films like this kept his name visible to the public and money in his pockets.

Saying all of that kinda does a disservice to the film and Bela’s acting, however. No, it’s not the most highly-regarded thing he ever put out, but it IS immensely entertaining, and to Bela’s credit, he gave the role his all (he always did, no matter how weak the material). I can’t say this movie wouldn’t have been fun without him, but with him, it is undeniably a blast. But then, anything with Lugosi is worth at least a cursory glance, just because it’s Bela.

This exact broadcast was without a doubt my first time seeing The Devil Bat. The Ghoul had a wide-range of horror and sci-fi films during the “Friday era” of the show. Stuff as old (or older) as this or as recent as the 1990s could and would be shown. Because I was always a “classic movie” buff, flicks like this one were the most up my alley. And yet, as I’ve mentioned a few times on this blog, The Devil Bat didn’t really do it for me then. As a result, it left a sour taste in my mouth that lasted for years; it’s only in more recent times that I’ve fallen in love with it. Maybe it just didn’t hit me in the right mood that night. Or maybe it had to do with a couple factors regarding the version aired during this broadcast, which I’ll explain momentarily. I don’t know, but the fact is I didn’t care much about the film then. Luckily, I do now. Better late than never!

Bela plays Dr. Paul Carruthers (given Bela’s accent, he doesn’t seem like much of a “Carruthers,” but whatever), who is not only the town doctor, but also a chemist for the local cosmetics company (“Heath Cosmetics”). Sounds like a plush gig? Not for Carruthers. Turns out the cosmetic company has made a fortune from Carruthers’ products, and Carruthers, uh, hasn’t. Carruthers himself is really to blame for the situation; when the company was first getting started, he asked for money up front for his concoction(s), rather than a buying a share of stock. This, needless to say, turned out to be a huge mistake, and he’s been salty ever since.

(However, while Carruthers is at fault for the initial decision, the company owners, Heath and Morton, tend to needlessly rub it in – even when they give him a $5000 bonus, it’s a pittance compared to what the company is actually earning.)

Just like any rational person with a grievance against their employers would do, Carruthers has decided the best course of action is revenge. Copying machines weren’t around for him to sit his derriere on yet, and he doesn’t seem like the witty-limerick-on-the-bathroom-wall kinda guy, which means that the only logical choice left is to create giant killer bats to carry out his revenge. I mean, duh!

Using electronic impulses or some crap like that, he enlarges one to big honkin’ size, which is in addition to training it to attack upon smelling a certain aftershave lotion, of Carruthers’ own design naturally. A killer bat prepared to tear you up is one thing, but it’s so much worse when it’s the size of a large dog.

You see where this is going, don’t you? Carruthers tricks members of the Heath and Morton families into wearing his special aftershave lotion (ostensibly as a test before marketing), and then releases the titular creature from his own personal belfry (every mad scientist should have one), which then exacts Carruthers revenge for him.

Naturally, you can’t have a big giant bat flying around killing people for very long before the press starts nosing around. And sure enough, two big city reporters (one of whom is wonderfully nicknamed “One Shot”) soon waltz in for a scoop, and eventually put a stop to the whole thing. Well, one of them does; the other is basically comic relief (One Shot, of course).

Before the ordeal is over, you’ll be treated to shots of a rubber bat attacking people, a silly fake photo shoot, a couple of prerequisite love interests, a wildly ineffective (but surprisingly friendly towards the press) police chief, a bitchy newspaper editor, and enough outdated 1940s jargon to make you feel better about life. Plus, you know, Bela Lugosi.

With only a bit over an hour in running time, there’s not much time to screw around, and thus, The Devil Bat moves at a pretty brisk pace. It’s fast, it’s fun, it’s charmingly cheap, and it comes highly recommended by your Northeast Ohio Video Hunter. And as we all know, my recommendation is of tantamount importance. Otherwise, I wouldn’t give it!

“W-w-what am I lookin’ at?!”

The Ghoul did not have access to the greatest print of The Devil Bat in the world. Not so hard to understand; nowadays we’ve got a couple really fantastic “official” versions on DVD/Blu-ray, but back then, you were limited to whatever had been making the rounds for decades. The Devil Bat is in the public domain, which means I could project it on the side of my garage while figuratively (literally?) thumbing my nose at Hollywood cause there ain’t no copyright on the film no more.

Beyond the expected scratchy, splicey nature of the print, the picture-quality was also pretty fuzzy – it almost looks like it was sourced from VHS. Which, fine, whatever, public domain and all that. More distressingly, however, is the fact that the picture is often incomprehensibly dark. (See: above.) No joke, there are long stretches of the film that, had I not already been familiar with it, would have left me utterly lost upon this latest viewing. Back in January 2000, this was perhaps one of the reasons the film didn’t endear itself to me.

Also, editing. You didn’t really tune into The Ghoul to watch a movie; the movie was just kinda fodder for humorous sound effects and whatnot. The Ghoul would pack so much into his host segments, that the film often felt like an afterthought, and the editing to make it fit into the timeslot sometimes made that abundantly clear. More often than not, a movie would be so chopped up, following it was all but impossible. The longer the movie, the less it would make sense on the show. Mind you, that’s not a complaint either; that was actually part of the fun.

At only about 68 minutes, The Devil Bat should have fit into the 2-hour timeslot allotted to this episode fairly unscathed. As it turned out, it’s easier to follow than a lot of movies shown by The Ghoul, but there are noticeable chunks missing, and some of them are pretty important. That fake photo shoot I mentioned a bit ago? Yeah, that’s not actually present in this broadcast, which thus renders some of the later actions (that are present in this broadcast) as pretty head-scratching to a first-time viewer. This probably didn’t help endear the film to me back then, either. Or maybe I just didn’t like it, I don’t remember.

What I don’t get is why there needed to be any movie-editing at all. Y’see, this episode runs just under 1 hour 50 minutes (not so unusual; The Ghoul always started on time, but when an episode ended wasn’t always set in stone). They couldn’t have filled out that unused 10 minutes with the rest, or at least more, of the movie? I don’t get it.

But like I said, when watching The Ghoul, the movie was usually there strictly as fodder. That is, the various video audio drop-ins, the stuff Ghoulardi was doing way back in 1963 basically.

For The Devil Bat, there’s some funny audio bits; the Froggy “hi ya gang! Hi ya hi ya!” used whenever a close-up of a real bat is shown is great, as are the expected burps whenever someone takes a drink, incessant groaning whenever someone is killed, etc. On the video front, during a typical newspaper-headlines montage, clips of Cleveland Browns-related articles are inserted.

My favorite bit of movie-mockery here is something that The Ghoul was fond of using during his WBNX run: the fake-factoid bubbles. Remember Pop-Up Video? It was like that. Two examples of the phenomenon are, needless to say, pictured above. I loved these things back then, and I love them even more now; I had no idea who Dick Feagler was back in 2000, but I sure do now, which of course helps me actually get the gag. These bubbles aren’t as rampant during The Devil Bat as they were in other movies shown on the program, but I did love what was here.

So, back to the show as a whole. As previously mentioned, it was The Ghoul’s birthday weekend, and even though it wasn’t stated during the episode itself, Ron “The Ghoul” Sweed was turning 50. The big 5-0! Of course there was celebration afoot!

This was demonstrated at the end of the introductory host segment; the crew threw The Ghoul a surprise birthday party! (Hence, the streamers and whatnot all over him throughout the show.) I have no idea if this was a real surprise party, or just something cooked up for the cameras, and there’s not a whole lot to the bit other general frivolity. But again, it sets the tone for the rest of the episode.

(I want that 60th anniversary King Kong poster in the background above, by the way.)

A short, first commercial-break bit in which Froggy is caught looking through the dirty movies at B-Ware Video (he can’t find any with frogs in them), is then grabbed by Sick Eddie (who owned the store), thrown across the room, and then has the door closed on him – and I do mean on him. As Froggy skits go, it wasn’t one of the more elaborate ones, but then, any Froggy destruction is fine by me.

B-Ware Video was in Lakewood, a pretty far drive for me, and thus I only made it there once, for a Ghoul appearance in the Spring of 2000. The place was very impressive though, with a ton of rare, obscure movies for sale or rent – not the stuff you’d find on Best Buy’s shelves. It was fantastic. It was the kind of brick-and-mortar store that the internet, much to my chagrin, made obsolete in the following years (I *believe* B-Ware closed in ’05), but I’m certainly glad to have visited the establishment that one time.

A very funny segment in which, as response to a viewer email stating “Big Chuck sucks,” The Ghoul claims he and Big Chuck are tight, and then pays “tribute” by showing the same two pictures of Chuck over and over while “Wind Beneath My Wings” plays and shots of The Ghoul sobbing uncontrollably are inserted between it all. This all goes on for just a bit too long.

On paper, it’s a bit that may confuse first-time or otherwise not-in-the-know viewers, especially if they happened to tune in while it was already in progress. Some may even claim it to be “stupid.” There’s no doubt it’s of only the thinnest premise. So why can’t I stop laughing at it?

(It’s important to note that The Ghoul and The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show were scheduled against each other at that time. In the hype leading up to his television return in the Summer of 1998, I recall The Ghoul stating he hoped people would use their VCRs to watch both shows.)

A “Soul of Ghoul” skit. The premise of these, and there were quite a few of them, was that the Soul of Ghoul, a black guy, was the polar opposite of The Ghoul in every way (“Yo Yo Yo” instead of “Hey Hey Hey,” white beard and mustache, black wig, etc.), and would constantly harass him in a Froggy-like style. In this installment, it’s the classic “shoe polish” trick, in which Soul of Ghoul places the substance on a telephone receiver (remember those?), and gets The Ghoul to answer it, with the expected results.

Somehow, the real meaning behind these skits went RIGHT over my head back then, though I of course get it now: these were a shot at Son of Ghoul. If the initials didn’t make it clear, The Ghoul’s declaration at the start of each sketch of “Now the brothers are rippin’ me off!” makes the message doubly-obvious. (Nowadays, he’d probably have to word that differently, too.)

At the time, I didn’t know about the legal troubles between the two in the years prior. At least, I don’t remember knowing about them then. I’d catch little shots from one against the other on their respective shows, but as I recall it, I never took those as anything more than a friendly rivalry kind of thing. I’d learn the truth later.

My stance on the matter? I grew up as a fan of both hosts, I liked the different comedic styles both brought to the table (which means that, to be honest, I don’t really agree with the actual premise behind the “Soul of Ghoul” bits), and I remain a fan of both today. I wish things had played out differently between them, but that’s all I’m going to (or really, can) say about the situation.

Not so much a segment as a returning-from-commercials bumper, but nevertheless, with Groundhog Day right around the corner, this is a very funny, holiday-appropriate goof on Big Chuck & Lil’ John. Hey, let the screenshot above speak for itself…

For this host segment, before heading into the real purpose behind it, a quick demonstration of the then-new Ghoul travel mug and Turn Blue Ghoul Brew is given. See, it can hold liquid! (And if it don’t make you burp, “You got a bad one!”)

Up until recently, the travel mug was still available new from The Ghoul’s official website, though a quick perusal of the online store reveals that it’s (apparently) no longer in stock. Turn Blue Ghoul Brew, on the other hand, hasn’t been around since, I guess, the early-2000s? Mid-2000s? I sure miss it though. It was blue root beer that turned your tongue the appropriate color upon imbibing. (There was a green, lemon-lime variant called “Froggy Squeezin’s” as well.)

I only tried the Froggy variety once (the nearby DeVitis Italian Foods carried Ghoul drinks), and it was good, but I loved the Ghoul Brew. Very tasty – and it really turned your tongue blue! I’ve still got an unopened bottle (maybe two) floating around here somewhere.

Immediately following that, it’s time for “Frankenstein Online,” later deemed “Frank-On-Line.” I remember the character, but I had totally forgotten about the early iteration of him. Lemme explain…

The gag was that the Frankenstein monster was real, and his body had been located, reanimated, and kept at the “Brownberry Institute” in Maryland. The torso remained there, but the head was on loan to The Ghoul. Contrary to popular opinion, Frank didn’t get a bad brain, he was just “nurtured badly.” (The Ghoul muses that if political correctness had been around back then, it could have been a whole different scenario.) Turns out, Frank’s very intelligent! And to prove that, viewers were invited to email him from the Ghoul’s website and ask for his advice!

The version of the bit I remembered was Sick Eddie, in green face paint, bolts, the whole deal, his head sticking up out of a table, dispensing advice is a mock-Frankenstein voice that to this day I find gaspingly funny. What I had forgotten, however, is that the character started out as a fake plastic head, and The Ghoul ‘voiced’ him off-screen. As The Ghoul’s intro makes clear, this was a very new addition to the show; it’s funny, but I’m glad they fleshed (Get it? FLESHED! HAW HAW H…aw never mind) the concept out a bit more.

For this installment in the soon-to-be long running segment, a viewer asks what he’s gotta do before asking a girl out on a date. Frank’s response? A series of incomprehensible grunts and yells! It’s not a segment that would have worked for very long doing the same thing every time, but here, it’s very funny.

There was at least one more of these gag segments (that I can remember), and I think what I like most about them was that they were always played ‘straight,’ as if this were a serious interview.

“Teen Idol” David Crosby (it’s not really him) stops by The Ghoul’s set to catch up on matters. This time around, The Ghoul asks him about his being a, uh, “donor” to Melissa Etheridge. Crosby responds with something along the lines of “Well, I have an album called 4 Way Street, so I decided to go another way!” Ha!

His “kid” is then presented; she looks just like him! In fact, she got everything from him – everything but his liver, that is!

The Ghoul had a long-running, good natured “feud” with legendary local anchorwoman Denise Dufala. It was obviously all in jest, but hardly a week went by where a shot (sometimes literally) at her then-recent CD (I’ve got a copy!) wasn’t taken.

This bit was filmed during the holidays (hence the Santa Ghoul sleeves), and repeated endlessly, which was and is fine with me, because I love it. Simply put, The Ghoul was inside the WOIO offices (?), and as a final prank before leaving, he placed his fake beard and mustache on Dufala’s official picture. The screen then froze on the image, while Carl Carlson’s “She’s a Bad Mama Jama” played longer than necessary. Good stuff!

A short, random segment (I guess a good many of Ghoul segments could be considered random!) in which Froggy shows up without being implored to “plunk his magic twanger.” This clearly displeases The Ghoul, who then tosses some lady fingers at the amphibian, causing him to be duly carted off by some “paramedics.”

When Froggy explains that it’s been awhile since he’s been by (hence the showing up unprovoked), The Ghoul’s almost nonchalant response of “I don’t care!” cracks me up.

For me, one of the biggest highlights in any episode was “The Ghoul’s Vault of Golden Garbage,” in which a vintage Ghoul skit would be presented. The chance to see material from the 1970s or 1980s, waaaaaaay before my time, it was fantastic.

That’s not quite what this installment was, though. It was an older bit presented, but not a vintage one. Rather, it’s a clip from 1999, and was actually the intro to one of my very favorite episodes (Attack of the Mushroom People). It’s definitely fun, and funny, and a good example of those non sequitur, apropos of nothing intros I mentioned earlier, but still, it wasn’t some new-to-me 1970s sketch, and that was (is) a little disappointing.

One of the crew must have found a busted “self-service” greeting card maker on the curb or something, gutted it, and brought it to the studio for a skit. Here, The Ghoul throws his money in the machine (“$3,95?!”), but when he attempts to make his own card, all he gets is a note stating “Wait a Second.” He soon discovers Froggy is in the back of the machine, which then causes Ghoul to rock the machine back and forth, throw it to the ground, and then tie a chain around it and drag it, via truck, around the parking lot until it falls to pieces!

Random? For sure. But, you know, I really do love it. I guess I can overlook it being of a then-recent vintage…

Jungle Bob time! JB! My buddy!

Years before he began appearing on The Son of Ghoul Show, this was how I was introduced to Jung, by his appearances on The Ghoul Show.

I learned some great stuff from JB on those shows, including some facts I’ve managed to retain in my memory banks all these years. (At Monsterfestmania, JB confirmed my recollection that if I were to drop a tarantula, it’s abdomen would straight-up ‘splode!)

For his appearance here, JB brought some shrimp (one of which The Ghoul accidentally dropped – it was fine), one of those cool fighting fish PetsMart is always shilling (I taunted one once; it slammed a fist through the glass jar at me*), and some tadpoles, which naturally prompted a return visit by Froggy; The Ghoul proceeded to swing him around, which resulted in his arm accidentally ripping off! (Froggy’s arm I mean, not The Ghoul’s.)

And that was pretty much it for the episode. (There was an obligatory model car blown up; I didn’t bother grabbing screenshots of that one. Besides, we all know what the best Ghoul blow-up ever** was!)

Before bouncing on out, The Ghoul presents a gift given to him by the crew: a talking Robbie the Robot doll! And then, after a final mention of it being his big birthday weekend (he won’t be able to make the Saturday WNCX 98.5 FM radio show he co-hosted with Mr. Classic at the time because of it), that was it, the last Ghoul Power for a week. It was always bittersweet seeing him bounce out of the studio at the end of each show, because it was over. Until next week, anyway.

I had a LOT of fun revisiting this episode. As I said before, this was basically all new stuff to me; I hadn’t seen this since it initially aired, so not only was it full of constant surprises, but it was just an all-around funny, entertaining show, to boot. Plus, it definitely gave me much more to work with than Invisible Ghost did.

---

Commercials! Commercials? Yes, commercials! 2000 is still just a bit too new for there to be a whole lot of vested interest in them for me. I mean, they’re a huge nostalgia boost personally when seeing them in action, but as far as writing about them goes, well, I’m not so sure.

Nevertheless, here’s a few (but just a few) I can kinda sorta babble about…

WBNX TV-55 The Lost World Promo

WBNX excelled in hour-long, syndicated shows. It was like a constant stream of lazy Saturday afternoon fare, but almost all the time (‘cept prime time, that is; that was the WB’s turf). The Lost World was one such series, and despite loving the 1925 silent film, I don’t think I ever took more than a cursory glance at the syndicated series. Good? Bad? The hell if I know. I assume it was about people stuck in a dinosaur-inhabited territory. (Gee, what a guess!)

In all seriousness, nowadays, I probably would give this one more of a shot – maybe.

WBNX TV-55 Total Recall 2070 Promo

Take everything I said about The Lost World above, ignore the dinosaur reference, and think of Arnold Schwarzenegger but not really. Do that…and you probably still wouldn’t have a clue about Total Recall 2070. I probably watched less of this show than I did The Lost World – and that’s saying something!

You know, I referenced the “Sunday era” of The Ghoul earlier. Some of these shows (Total Recall 2070 and The Lost World) were run after The Ghoul at certain points during that period. In fact, because I let my tapes keep recording loooong after The Ghoul was supposed to be over, I’ve captured examples of both, and probably more. I suppose if I were feeling adventurous enough, I could dig the tapes out and give ’em a try, but, meh.

Ody’s Tailors & Clothiers Ad

ODY’S! Now this one, I just love it.

Ody’s Tailors was located very, very close to me at the time. Indeed, it was thanks to his commercials during The Ghoul that when it came time for my 8th grade graduation, I insisted, insisted that I get my suit from Ody. And I did, too.

This ad is ostensibly for Ody’s retirement sale, 25% off everything in the store, etc. But truthfully, these “retirement” ads ran for quite awhile; I’m pretty sure I recently saw one on an old tape of mine from 2002 or 2003. That was actually a good thing, since I didn’t graduate until the Spring of 2001 – I’m glad Ody was still around. He was ridiculously friendly. I’m glad we could throw some bidness his way, even if it was just that one time.

The WB Zoe…Promo

I think I can count on one hand the number of WB shows I regularly watched. I’m not sure there were any, to be honest with you. Well, maybe one or two, tops.

And yet, thanks to promos aired during The Ghoul, I can certainly remember a good number of them. Zoe… is a good example of that. This promo is for the second season premiere of what was originally titled Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane. Obviously, they shortened the name to, officially, Zoe… (It’s pronounced, literally, Zoe Dot Dot Dot in the promo). I never watched either iteration, though for whatever reason, the original title made the show strike me as a ‘unique’ sitcom.

Lex Luthor from Smallville was in it, as was Selma Blair. That’s her in the left screenshot above, and it’s only now that I truly realize she was cute as a button.

WBNX TV-55 Unhappily Ever After Promo

I realize this promo is from after the show ended and was thus in syndicated reruns by that point. Even so, it still counts as a WB series, and one that, even though I didn’t watch it very often, I actually kinda liked whenever I did happen to tune in. I don’t know if it holds up for me; it tends to be compared or related in some way or something to Married…With Children, which I know hasn’t held up for me. Nevertheless, I had more experience with Unhappily than I did poor Zoe… above.

The actual episode this promo is for? Something about each family member having fantasies or living out their dreams or something like that. Look, I’m at over 5000 words for this article now, I’m tired.

---

 

What a huge, huge shot of nostalgia this recording is! It’s like a nearly-perfect summation of just what I loved staying up late Friday nights to watch The Ghoul. Almost everything about it clicks, from the skits to the movie to even the commercials (yeah, I kinda gave those short-shrift here, I know; they’re fun in action, but there weren’t all that many writable ones – ‘cept Ody, anyway).

The Ghoul wouldn’t remain like this a whole lot longer; that coming fall, he’d be moved to Sunday nights, his movie selections ruined, his skits, host segments and movie drop-ins scaled waaaaay back. The entire show that had been building up since the Summer of 1998 would more or less be totally destroyed in one fell swoop. ‘Course, I didn’t know any of that was ahead. I’d suspect neither The Ghoul nor his crew knew, either.

I can’t really say this Devil Bat episode is my favorite, though I do think I’d put it in my top 10, if I were ever bored enough to make a list such as that (and rest assured, I taped so many Ghoul shows over the years, I could if I wanted). Even though I hadn’t watched it since the initial airing over 16 years ago, boy, I enjoyed nearly every second of it. Consistently entertaining, and a hugely nostalgic presentation; I wish every old recording of mine met those criteria!

 

*Aw, you know it didn’t, I was just kidding, chill out.

**In my humble yet-totally-biased opinion, of course!

WJW TV-8’s The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show – 1982’s “First Blood” (May 11, 2001)

Nostalgia time!

I recorded this one myself, way back on May 11, 2001. 15 years?! I refuse to believe it’s been that long!

Speaking of 15 years, that’s exactly how old I was at the time (wow, I think I just gave myself record-setting depression!). During that period, I was still the avid video taper and movie/TV fan that I had been for the several years preceding, but as I got a bit older, I found myself steadily branching out from the genres that had traditionally been ‘mine.’

That is, the classic horror and sci-fi films, b-westerns, silents, and so on. (A lot of the stuff we’ve seen here at the blog, basically.) Oh I still liked all those, but my tastes were evolving to include newer, relatively more extreme horror and sci-fi, and even action films. The taste for horror and sci-fi beyond the 1960s or so would eventually recede, but the love of action flicks (especially those from the 1980s and early-1990s) remains.

Which brings us to the subject for today. Yes, Northeast Ohio movie-hostin’ heroes Big Chuck & Lil’ John once ran the 1982 Sylvester Stallone action classic First Blood, and yes, it was fantastic. “Wait, ain’t they horror hosts though, B?” Well, yes, Chuck & John (and before John, Hoolihan) made their name on film offerings more befitting the horror host genre (though not necessarily always). By the time this episode aired, the film selections had turned into a more all-around assortment. I’ll explain more about that situation in a bit.

Frankly, it didn’t (and doesn’t) really matter to me whether the movie used that night in May 2001 fit in with what the show was supposed to feature or not; this was a viewing, and recording, born out of my fairly new love of action flicks and a joy in discovering them for myself on late night TV. Discovering Rambo? In 2001? I’ll explain more about that situation in a bit, too.

I certainly didn’t realize it at the time, or even in the years immediately proceeding it, but of the hundreds and hundreds of movies I personally recorded from, roughly, 1996-2002, this has turned out to be one of my favorites. Aside from some intense nostalgia on my part, it’s not linked to any actually important aspect of my life, nor is it a particularly historical broadcast in and of itself. Nope, I just really, really like this one as a whole. Does it take me right back to Friday nights in Spring 2001? You better believe it does!

(Also, that header pic above? That was the bumper for the episode, an image that now currently resides as the background on my phone. A superfluous-but-rare honor!)

A general widening of my film tastes wasn’t the only thing going on with me, TV-wise, at the time, either; it was also around that point that I truly began to enjoy and appreciate Big Chuck & Lil’ John as a whole, rather than just a showcase for certain movies I wanted to see/tape. That may be anathema to admit, and I certainly don’t like admitting it, but the sad fact of the matter is it took me a few years to really ‘get’ these guys.

Now, that may be a surprising statement to some; after all, Chuck & John have had no small influence on this blog, and indeed, I’m a self-professed mega-fan. Besides the annual Ghoulardifest posts, I’ve written about them numerous times. But back in 2001, even though I had watched (and taped!) their show(s) prior, it wasn’t until, roughly, the 1999-2001 time frame that I truly became a fan. Prior to that, it was all about the movie with me, as evidenced by the fact that I usually cut the intros and outros off when recording, opting instead for just the movie (whatever bits showed up during commercial breaks were of course left in, and in retrospect I’m glad they’re still there, but back then, they were merely an extra-addition to the film in my eyes). This was all in stark contrast to The Ghoul Show and The Son of Ghoul Show, which were kept in their entirety, as I saw them as “complete shows,” and not just mere movie showcases.

That eventually all changed however, due to a few factors. Once I began watching, really watching, Chuck & John, I began to appreciate their comedic bits and host segments (my learning more about the history of the show, and Chuck’s involvement in Northeast Ohio TV in general, was also a factor). Plus, WBNX TV-55 moving The Ghoul Show from Friday nights to Sunday nights didn’t hurt, either. Their normal Friday night program was thus easier for me to catch, and that, in addition to watching more of their Saturday afternoon Couch Potato Theater show, really helped get me on board the BC & LJ train. I still didn’t tape Chuck & John as much as I did those other shows, but at least I “got it.” After ’98 or so, I began, as a rule, recording their entire broadcasts, from start to finish.

(For those unawares, and I have picked up some new readers/followers lately, especially after my trendsetting performance at Monsterfestmania, that’s “Lil’ John” Rinaldi on the left, “Big Chuck” Schodowski on the right. Read more about ’em here if necessary, or just keep going with this post; you’ll probably get the gist of all this in short order.)

So, First Blood on the show. Why play such an obvious non-horror or sci-fi film, when Chuck & John are widely considered legit horror hosts?

They did (but not always) run ‘regular’ flicks in the years before, but by the mid-1990s, the film selections became much more ‘standardized.’ That is, all genres were represented. Sure, there could be a typical horror or sci-fi oldie (I taped more than one Toho opus off the program during the period), but there were also comedies, dramas, westerns, and as we’re seeing today, action films.

Some fans tend to decry the usage of ‘general’ films during this later era of The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show. I understand that sentiment, but even when ignoring the changing television landscape of the time, I’d argue that since Chuck & John didn’t dress or act “spooky,” and their comedy was broader and generally not tied to a horror theme, the overall product still came out successful. Granted, I’m coming from a different place than others, but nevertheless, horror/sci-fi or not, the ‘new’ show certainly introduced me to films I might not have seen otherwise.

First Blood I probably would have wound up catching sooner or later anyway, but this broadcast hit me at just the right time. Due to my burgeoning interest in the genre, I often stayed up late on weekends and caught new-to-me action movies on local channels. One Man’s Justice and Army of One were introduced to me that way. Even beyond TV airings, I was picking up used VHS tapes at a local indie video store (the Missing in Action films became personal favorites). And yet, before catching this airing of First Blood on Big Chuck & Lil’ John, Rambo was uncharted territory to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew who Rambo was, or at least had a vague idea of the character. And I had caught bits and pieces of the films earlier in the decade (on cable TV, when movies like this seemed to always be on). But up until May 2001, I had never actually seen an entry in the series.

Truth be told, it took me a bit to get into it. My vague knowledge of Rambo was that of a mercenary, a legit one-man-army, going into a foreign country, rescuing hostages of some sort, and blowing away a lot of bad guys. First Blood isn’t quite that, and at the start of this initial viewing, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it at first.

But sure enough, I was soon absolutely drawn into the film, just completely and totally enthralled by it. I wound up loving the movie, and from that point on, I was a Rambo fan. I remember the morning after this aired, we were at some gymnastics thing for my little cousin, and all I could think of was getting the trilogy (there was a swanky widescreen VHS boxset out then). I wanted to see more of these, man!

Eventually, of course, I did. Indeed, not too long after this aired, I went and bought a ‘legit’ VHS copy of the film from the aforementioned indie video store. In the years since, I’ve obtained First Blood in a variety of formats and releases, but truth be told, none mean as much to me as this personal recording I made back in the Spring of ’01 does.

I find it hard to believe that anyone stumbling upon this post hasn’t seen First Blood. The first entry in the Rambo series, and (as far as I’m concerned) legitimate action classic? C’mon! I mean, having not seen it by the time I was 15, there’s not much excuse there, but there’s even less now; the movie-viewing world was a bit different 15 years ago, but there are countless ways to catch this one nowadays.

I’m not gonna go too in-depth here, because if you haven’t seen it yet, go see it! Anyway, First Blood details the plight of John Rambo, a Vietnam Vet who runs into trouble with the police of a small town and must fend for himself. The End!

…Well, I guess I can go a bit more in-depth than that. Here’s the set-up: as the film opens, Rambo is seen visiting the home of one of his old army buddies and learning that he has passed away. This leaves Rambo as the last surviving member of his Special Forces Unit from ‘Nam. Already suffering with the memories of the war, this news puts him into an emotional tailspin, and he winds up a drifter.

Eventually, he finds him self in Hope, Washington. Almost immediately, he’s hassled by Sheriff Will Teasle (it’s Brian Dennehy!), who concludes that, based on his looks, Rambo isn’t the kind of element the people need in their nice, quite little town. Although he puts on a (somewhat) friendly facade, he drives Rambo outside of the city and tells him to find somewhere else to go. Rambo, being the the definitive badass, of course turns around and heads right back in. When Teasle sees this, he arrests ‘Bo for vagrancy. (The big giant knife Rambo carries around doesn’t help, either.)

Teasle’s a jerk, but his fellow officers, Deputy Art Galt in particular, are worse. When they try to book Rambo in at the police station, and it becomes increasingly obvious that Rambo is emotionally disturbed, they begin abusing him. Beating him, spraying him with a fire hose in the shower, and the final straw, attempting to shave him with a straight-razor. Y’see, Rambo wasn’t just in ‘Nam, he was a POW, and the abuse triggers flashbacks of his imprisonment there. On top of everything else he’s had to deal with since then, this is just too much, and in short order he busts out of the station and escapes into the woods.

(Note: Michael “Stan Switek” Talbott and David “CSI: Miami Guy” Caruso play young police officers in the flick, too.)

Naturally, Teasle is none too pleased with this development, and of course a search party is formed to recover the prisoner. Being an expert in such situations, Rambo is able to elude them, though eventually Galt shows up in a helicopter and gets him in his sights. Despite Teasle’s order that Rambo be taken alive, Galt begins firing at him. Not having much other recourse, Rambo wings a rock at the chopper, which cracks the windshield and surprises the pilot, who then jerks the chopper – causing Galt to fall his to death. Suddenly, this isn’t just a manhunt anymore; this has become personal to Teasle.

From there on out, it is on. But they drew first blood (get it?), and it’s up to Rambo to fend for himself. Well, he’s not quite alone; Colonel Sam Trautman (Richard Crenna!), hearing reports of what’s going on, shows up in town, and essentially keeps telling Teasle there’s no chance of the cops getting Rambo. Trautman oughta know, too; he was Rambo’s commanding officer in ‘Nam (“God didn’t make Rambo; *I* made him!”) and fully understands what Rambo is capable of. Of course Teasle doesn’t listen. Massive amounts of destruction and general badassery ensues.

As I recall it, much of my initial apprehension upon viewing this film had little to do with the movie itself, and more to do with the fact that it didn’t quite fit my preconceived notions of what a Rambo flick was supposed to be. That is, a one-man-army heading into a foreign country and basically taking the whole place out for one reason or another. That was the prevailing image I had of Rambo, anyway. What I didn’t know was that that viewpoint was more in line with the sequels; this first installment was a bit of a different animal.

Except when it wasn’t. After all, First Blood still has Rambo pretty much by himself and fending off and/or evading large numbers of people after him. He is a one-man-army here, and he does do the things that I expected him to do. It’s just that in First Blood, this is all in a more domestic setting, and that’s what threw me at first. A large portion of the film is set in the woods outside of fictional Hope, Washington, which was in opposition to my initial thoughts of “Shouldn’t this be set in a jungle somewhere?” The more I watched the film, the more I realized that, no, it wasn’t quite what I was expecting, but what I got was just as, if not more, fantastic. Like I said before, by the time it had ended, I was a bonafide fan.

The entire movie is terrific, and the final portion of the film, in which Rambo makes his way back to the city and just totally tears things up, is particularly so. He blows up a gas station! He knocks out the power! He gets himself a big ol’ gun! All in an effort to draw Teasle out for a final confrontation…

…A confrontation that results in the most powerful moment of the entire film: just as Rambo is about to finish off Teasle once and for all, Trautman stops him, and what follows is a heavily dramatic monologue by Stallone. In it, his Rambo laments his status in the US following the war, how he’s been treated, his usefulness to society, and how the horrors of the war still haunt him. It’s a fantastic, moving monologue, the most emotional moment of the movie.

The monologue also brings out to the open a dramatic undercurrent that runs through the rest of the film: the plight of the Vietnam Veteran in the years following the war. As such, First Blood manages to include a somber, social commentary on Vets that the sequels increasingly ignored. Regardless of what anyone thinks about war, the way our Veterans are often treated is a sore spot with me, which means that, personally, this dramatic monologue really hits home.

First Blood is action-packed, make no mistake. There are chases, fights, explosions, gunfire, near misses and escapes. It’s at certain points unflinchingly brutal, especially near the beginning when Rambo is in police custody. The movie earns the R-rating given to it. But paradoxically, and contrary to popular opinion (myself at 15 included), it’s not actually that violent. Not as far as deaths are concerned, anyway. Indeed, only one person is actually killed throughout the entire film: Galt, and that was both an accident on Rambo’s part and due to Galt himself being a dumbass. (I mean, yes, Rambo tossed a rock at the chopper, but Galt was hanging out of the side without a harness of any kind!) Everyone else, Rambo stops but doesn’t kill. The high-body counts generally associated with Rambo films? Those fit the sequels, but not First Blood.

As such, the version seen on Big Chuck & Lil’ John that night in May 2001, sure there was some editing for content, and time, and naturally some salty language was censored, but unlike a lot of R-rated films that wound up on local TV, First Blood didn’t suffer too badly. Indeed, as long as you didn’t mind Chuck & John occasionally interrupting the proceedings with their silliness, this was actually a pretty good example of First Blood.

And speaking of Big Chuck & Lil’ John, it’s time for their portion of the show. This won’t be everything they did that night, but here are some of the personal highlights…

The show as a whole kicks off with this introductory skit, in lieu of an opening sequence or any similar such fanfare. In it, Bill Ward (I’ve met him before!) plays the Cleveland Indians’ new pitcher Billy Bob, who just rolled in from North Carolina. He apparently loves Cleveland and especially The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show, which he proclaims to be wholesome, clean, family entertainment – all while progressively throwing more chewing tobacco in his mouth and letting the juice run down his chin when he spits! Gross? Maybe. Is there much to the bit? Not really. Is it funny? Yep!

That leads directly into the first host segment of the night, which, needless to say, introduced the movie, mentioned some of the things Chuck & John had planned for the evening (the US mail carriers were there for the episode; we’ll see them in a bit), and so on. Not a particularly long intro, but there was no need for it to be; this got the night kicked off proper, and frankly, just having Chuck & John intro the movie was enough. Even though they’re back on the air nowadays (as a 30 minute, skits-only program), there was something really special about them actually hosting a film. It’s a sight for sore eyes, absolutely.

For any non-Northeast Ohioans reading this, you may wonder how a couple of hosts presenting silly skits between commercial-breaks of First Blood can really work as entertainment. It doesn’t, on paper, sound like it would ‘fit.’ To be honest with you, I don’t know why it works either, just that it does. Maybe you have to be a Northeast Ohioan of a certain age to appreciate this sort of thing. Maybe it’s a format that couldn’t really work (with the vast majority of viewers) today. Perhaps that 30 minute skits-only show is the best we can hope for in this day and age, where genuine local TV is at a minimum.

All I know is that, more than once, I was introduced to movies in this “format” that, for all intents and purposes, worked. This is how I first saw Theatre of Blood, this is how I first saw Miracle Mile, and obviously, this is how I first saw First Blood.

I hope Big Chuck & Lil’ John never go away.

(Also, isn’t that screencap above just awesome? I couldn’t not post it. ‘Course, this probably means it’ll be stolen and passed around the internet without mentioning where it originally came from, because why would anyone give me credit for anything ever?)

Next up, another installment in the long-running series of “Certain Ethnic” skits. “Certain Ethnic” was a euphemism for “Polish,” a running joke that reached back to the Ghoulardi days. Chuck himself is Polish, and the mocking was always done affectionately, but still, people complained, and so “Polish” became “Certain Ethnic.”

In this one, it’s the “Certain Ethnic Jaccuzzi [sic].” After a long day of work, Chuck’s famous Stash character just wants to relax, and a nice jacuzzi is the way to unwind. For this scenario, this is accomplished by running the garden hose through the window and into the tub!

Trivia time!

There were usually at least two trivia contests held per show. Another one of the benefits of having a live studio audience, I guess. Even then, I was all about vintage television and movies, and more often than not, I knew the answers. Much to my chagrin, I was never able to attend a studio taping to show off my trivial (and I do mean trivial) prowess. This hurts me deep.

There were three trivia segments for this episode. For this first one, the prize was a 4-pack of tickets to the Mansfield Motorsports Speedway. The question? What television series was Richard Crenna a part of loooong before he became known as Rambo’s Colonel Trautman? Why, The Real McCoys, of course! I knew that!!! I win/lose again!

Ah, Ben Crazy. Did anyone not like the Ben Crazy skits? That would hurt me deep, too.

This one features Cleveland/television legend Tim Conway himself, as Dr. Crazy’s patient. The skit mostly works as a vehicle for Conway’s deadpan, jokey delivery (he was in the office earlier because he got his Ben-Gay and Preparation H mixed up – his shoulder was starting to shrink!). The punchline: he misunderstood what Dr. Crazy meant when he said he wanted a stool sample! (Above, duh.)

More trivia.

This time, the prize was the then-new book 365 Ways to Meet People in Cleveland, by Miriam Carey (looks like it’s out of print now). The question: what was Rambo’s first name? Aw c’mon! That’s so easy it’s not even fair! Had fate smiled upon me, I could be sitting here admiring my little book right this instant.

(By the way, the answer was “John.” John Rambo. Geez, even if someone somehow didn’t know that, they could have just taken a wild guess; there’s like a 95% chance they would have said “John” anyway.)

Saturday, May 12th (the next day, for those keeping track at home) was “Help Stamp Out Hunger Day,” courtesy of the US Postal Service. I remember those food drives; basically, you would place a bag of non-perishable food by your mail box on the appropriate day, and the mailperson would collect it to help replenish local food banks. So, the night before the event, the appropriate people went on The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show to explain all this. See how that works?

A joke is made in which Lil’ John apparently left a half-plate of uneaten spaghetti and meatballs by the mailbox the year before (it’s gotta be non-perishable, folks!), and both Chuck and John are presented with commemorative plaques as a thank you for all their help with the drive over the years. A nice moment.

Ajax Airlines!

The Ajax skits went waaaay back on the show. They were basically just miming bits from old Hudson & Landry records, but man, they were always a riot. This was a newer installment in the series (on the show I mean, not the records themselves), in which a very drunk person (Art Lofredo) calls the airline to find out when the next plane leaves. It’s a very funny bit, though the pay-off is a bit dated: they’ve got to hold the plane, because Art is the pilot!

Last trivia question of the night.

The prize was a “Zube Tube,” which made lots of weird electronic-like noises and gave your voice a cool booming quality when you spoke into it. I want to say my brother and/or I had something like this, but I don’t know. It’s a neat product though, and it’s basically given away. The question relates to Rambo’s status as a Green Beret and the John Wayne movie that dealt with the same subject. The answer: The Green Berets.

‘Course, it would’ve been a hard one to miss, since the words “Green Berets” are said about a thousand times leading up to the answer. I’m pretty sure my recording is just retroactively mocking me now.

A simple-but-great skit. When John and his wife (Mary Allen!) are denied admittance to a restaurant because John isn’t wearing a necktie, he leaves and later comes back wearing nothing but a necktie (one large enough to cover his, erm, lower extremities, naturally), much to the shock of the maitre d’ and the other patrons of the restaurant.

Another classic. Chuck is the manager of a Hallmark store, and John wants to return a “Get Well” card. Why? The guy died! Short, to the point, and very, very funny!

Unlike some of the other episodes we’ve looked at here, this was a later episode, in which the famous “Pajama Party” outro had been done away with; Pajama Party was the traditional closer in which Chuck and John (and before John, Hoolihan) closed out the show dressed in their PJs and reading submitted jokes. After looking at so many older broadcasts, it’s a little weird to see the segment absent here, even though this is the way I always saw the show closed out in my formative years.

Instead, this was just a standard outro, with reminders for the food drive the next day, the movie next week, goodnights and goodbyes, the expected stuff. In less than 12 hours, their Saturday afternoon Couch Potato Theater would start (earlier in the show, it was touted as “Abbott & Costello,” which almost certainly meant the 1950s sitcom – a show that was run fairly frequently on Couch Potato Theater).

Even so, there’s a real bittersweet feeling to watching the fellas sign off to the famous “Is That All There Is?” by Peggy Lee. Maybe it’s because I know now that Chuck & John wouldn’t be hosting movies for all that much longer; that sorta thing ended in 2007, when Chuck “retired.” But then, it’s wild to realize that in just a little over 10 years after this aired, they’d be back, with the current, aforementioned skits-only show.

No kidding, I hope these guys never go away again.

Chuck & John that night ran 2 hours and 18 minutes. Since this was a 2 hour and 30 minute timeslot, it stands to reason there was some filler at the end. On that front, WJW presented 1933’s Polly Tix in Washington, a bizarre short comedy featuring little kids in the roles of adult politicians. Shirley Temple is featured in some capacity. It’s pretty weird, it hasn’t aged particularly well, and it’s about as far away from First Blood as possible. Maybe that was the point. Either way, I think I hate it. It’s not funny or cute, just strange.

While not part of the actual episode (the show officially ended immediately before this), this was a surprising bit of filler. Finishing up a slot with old short comedies was more of a WAOH/WAX thing to do – I never expected WJW to pull something like that. I don’t know, maybe it was more common than I realize(d). All I know is that back in the late hours of that Spring 2001 night, I was like “say what?”

---

So, commercial time. This is where I traditionally look at some of the more interesting ads aired during a respective broadcast. Unfortunately, this time around, 2001 is just a bit too new for my tastes. A lot of this stuff has aged well, meaning they wouldn’t be all that out-of-place on TV nowadays. Still, there were a few interesting spots for us to look at. (And despite the 15 years elapsed since they aired, I actually do recall some of these as if they aired just yesterday.)

WJW TV-8 Stamp Out Hunger Ad

If they were pushing the food drive on The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show, it stands to reason there’d be commercials for it, too. Needless to say, that’s exactly what this, with anchorman Wayne Dawson, congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones, and a mail carrier (I guess) giving us all the details I, uh, already described earlier.

Labatt Blue Beer “Bear at the Party” Ad

Not too long ago, I found another spot from this series of ads on a tape, and even though I hadn’t even thought about these commercials in years, I was able to recall the ad far better than I would have anticipated.

The gist of these was that an anthropomorphic Canadian bear (really just a guy in a bear suit – duh!) pitched Labatt Blue beer wherever he went, and got into semi-wacky situations because he’s, you know, a bear. In this installment, he’s brought to a party by a mega-hot chick, and then does awkward things…because he’s a bear. He does the “raise the roof” gesture, he sees a tank of goldfish and believes they’re hors d’oeuvres, he waits in line for the bathroom. This is all ostensibly to sell Labatt Blue, which I guess worked, because this campaign was around for decent length of time.

KFC’s Extra-Crispy Chicken Deal Ad

Kentucky Fried Chicken didn’t always need George Hamilton to waltz around a set dressed as the Colonel in order to sell their extra-crispy fried chicken parts. Nope, back in 2001, all they needed was a $2.99 deal and shots of people noisily crunchin’ on the things as obnoxiously as possible. Then again, the spot does makes me want some KFC, so I guess it’s still doing the job 15 years later.

Nevertheless, Escape! it is not. KFC will, never, never top Escape!

Alltel’s Kyocera Phone “Chained Down” Ad

The theme of this spot is that without a cellular phone, you feel ‘chained down.’ This is demonstrated by a hapless lady chained to various products while out and about during her day. Chained to her desk in the elevator, chained to a shopping cart while being a karate ninja, chained to a fax machine and washer/dryer while camping. You get the gist. The point is, you need not feel chained down when you have Alltel’s Kyocera cellular phone and appropriate calling plan. You know, cause it’s mobile.

Frankly, I just included this one here because, man, look at that cellphone! Just look at it! It’s unbelievable what was considered cutting edge technology as recently as 15 years ago! That’s not a knock, either; nope, I love it. What a fantastic example of the early-2000s!

Volk’s Mothers Day Sale Ad

I thought this was pretty cool. Looking at thousand-year-old videotapes of the local variety, you tend to see ads for Volk’s pretty often; they advertised on local late night TV for years. Apparently they’re still around, though I hear conflicting reports. I refuse to drive to Cleveland just to find out. Here’s the Yelp page, either way.

Anyway, it is (was?) a jewelry/pawn shop. You know, trade/sell, get cash, that sort of thing. For this ad, with Mothers Day coming up, the pitch is, hey, why not go get her a nice piece of jewelry for the occasion?

Rod Stewart Tour Promo

As this mega-brief promo touts, Rod Stewart was coming to town on his “Human Tour 2001.” Ostensibly this was to promote an album I’ve never heard. Sorry Rod, I would not have gone to this.

Lynyrd Skynyrd – Deep Purple – Ted Nugent Tour Promo

Lynyrd Skynyrd, Deep Purple and Ted Nugent were also gonna be in town that coming summer. I really would not have gone to this.

Basic Instinct on Big Chuck & Lil’ John Promo

And finally, next Friday on The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show, it was Basic Instinct. I have not seen Basic Instinct, but from what I know of it, I doubt it aired, editing-wise, as relatively unscathed as First Blood did. Or maybe it did. I don’t friggin’ know.

Though this brings up a point: there were always a lot of kids in the audience when they were taping these shows; were they also watching the movies as they went? Chuck & John seem to generally be following the action. I can’t see them setting up the cameras and hauling an audience in just to film the host segments. On the other hand, even with editing for television, a lot of these movies weren’t really suitable for kids. First Blood, sure, and especially Basic Instinct. I don’t friggin’ know.

---

And so, there you have it, the 1982 Sly Stallone classic First Blood, as aired on The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show, May 11, 2001. Leonard Maltin didn’t like the movie, but *I* sure did – enough so that I had the foresight to keep the recording. Not that I wouldn’t have anyway; as I’ve said over and over, it’s a great film.

But the sad fact of the matter is, I didn’t always have the foresight to keep these shows. Casino Royale and True Grit, both I recorded but later taped over. I wish I hadn’t done that now, but back then, I had to be a bit pickier on what I used to fill precious tape-space. After all, Big Chuck & Lil’ John had looong shows, especially on Friday night. I’ve said before that watching an entire episode felt like you had run a marathon or something by the time it was over, and First Blood is no different. It felt, and feels, less like a mere movie broadcast and more like an experience, an event, of some sort.

Beyond just being a really fun, entertaining recording, it’s also a reminder of where I was, movie-choice-wise, at the time. And, in the grand scheme of things, it has the feeling of waning days of innocence (which is a funny thing to say about First Blood, I know). We had that Spring, and Summer, but then, well, we all know how everything just went straight to hell that coming Fall. But in May 2001, that was unknowingly, thankfully still inconceivable to us. I was in 8th grade, just about to graduate, high school looming ominously ahead. That’s all I knew then, that I had high school coming up.

In that regard, it’s a terrific snapshot of the time, when all I had to worry about was what I was gonna watch that weekend. And for that weekend, I’m convinced there was no better way to kick things off than with First Blood as presented on The Big Chuck & Lil’ John Show.

Monsterfestmania 2016!

This past weekend, July 29 & 30, 2016, marked the first Monsterfestmania convention, with hopefully many more to come. Held at Quaker Square in downtown Akron, this was practically a hop, skip and jump away from me. I mean, if I was feeling particularly adventurous, I could have walked there, had the mood struck me. I didn’t go that far, but I did make it to the show for both days.

“Oh boy, a big ol’ convention recap post! I love these!”

I naively believe everyone is saying those exact words right at this very moment. And indeed, there’s a precedence for these here at the blog; we’ve visited the annual Ghoulardifest convention not once, not twice, but three times at this point, and yes, there’s plans for a fourth one come October.

This post, however, is not just another Ghoulardifest recap under a different name. Oh sure, there are the pictures with celebrities, and I got some cool loot I’ll show off with so much bravado, but this time around, it was all accompanied by a level of nervousness on my part that, quite frankly, is unprecedented. I don’t really get nervous in anticipation of meeting big-time famous people and whatnot anymore, but I sure did this time.

Why’s that? Because this time, I was actually a part of the show.

Yep, I was a panel presenter! That’s me to the far-left above, doing my thing in my best Sonny Crockett jacket and stubble. Hey, if I’m gonna be in front of people, I’m gonna look like I just rolled off the set of Miami Vice, by golly!

But why get nervous? I don’t really have a problem with being in front of large groups of people; on the contrary, I relish it. No, any anxiety on my part was due solely to the fact that, frankly, I had just never done anything like this before. This was an entirely new experience for me. And furthermore, at any other convention, I skip the panels; I prefer to meet celebrities face-to-face, and besides, I’m usually too busy blowing my frighteningly limited funds on things I probably don’t need. So, I had descriptive accounts of what would take place, but I had no first-hand knowledge of how all this would play out.

Also, even though I don’t mind being in front of a crowd, I was concerned about what I would say. I’ve seen enough thousand-year-old broadcasts to know that stumbling over words, or worse yet, falling into silence, can be the kiss of death for this sort of thing. There’s no better way to look like a total amateur and lose a crowd right quick. Now, I did have notes with me as a guide, and in most cases I had enough knowledge about the subjects to where I didn’t really need them. Still, with this being my first foray into the world of panels, I neither wanted to appear too unprepared, nor appear too cocky.

Everyone I talked to told me I was just fine, and I was generally pretty happy with my performance (which is actually a telling statement, since I tend to be my own worst critic), though my sense of humor didn’t really fly with the audience (more on that in due time). If I am fortunate enough to be asked back next year, now that I’ve got a little experience under my belt, I feel I’d do even better.

You know what’s really cool about being asked to introduce the panels? It’s basically all because of this blog. Okay, I’ve known two of the guys behind the show itself for years (we’ll see them in a bit) via Time Traveler Records, but it took more than just acquaintances to be invited to do something like this. My high-level of interest in Northeast Ohio horror movie hosts, and my ability to babble about them online, has paid off yet again!

Hey, dig this: I made the official website! Cool winnins! Stuff like this makes me feel like a big man. I sure hoped I lived up to the promises made in that first paragraph! I did a short intro and outro to each panel, but they really sort of ran themselves; these were all pros I was dealing with here, so there wasn’t much actual ‘moderation’ needed on my part, aside from making sure one panel ended in time for the following panel to begin.

We’ll get to the panel aspects in just a moment, but for now, first things first: Monsterfestmania as a whole.

You know, I don’t think I’ve been to Quaker Square since, man, probably 2000. That was the last time the Frightvision convention was held there. I had my memories of the place, but I had forgotten just how nice it is inside. Lots and lots of room for vendors, and the two “side rooms” were big enough to fit plenty of people, but not so large that people in the back would be lost. (One room was used for panels, the other for screening films.)

The above picture (as well as the next two) was taken early on the first day, and right from the start, it was obvious a LOT of people had gotten tables. There was stuff for sale as far as the eye could see! And of course, there were the celebrity tables, too; look close and you’ll see Felix “Cousin Itt” Silla (we’ll see more of him in a bit) was captured in the shot above! This was by accident, but it was a happy accident; Felix is a cool guy!

Another shot of the main convention area, obviously. This was to the far-left when viewed coming from the main entrance. To the left of the picture you can see Dale Kay, and towards the right, internet horror hosts Tarr & Fether. Jungle Bob, with his back unknowingly to the camera, is in the middle. We’ll see more of all of them in a bit, too.

Odd side note: approximately three people are going to get this reference, but the carpeting absolutely reminds me of the floor in the last section of Double Dragon II. Look here if you don’t believe me. I kept looking around for a Big Boss Willy to pummel, but he never showed.

My mind works in really, really weird ways, doesn’t it?

A shot more towards the back, in the middle of the main space. CW was the sponsor for the show, and not only were they running a swanky commercial for it in the weeks leading up to the big day(s), but they also had displays for CW programming (Supergirl, above) and a cool spinny wheel that yielded sweet, sweet free prizes. My brother, who was also helping out both days, won a copy of Goosebumps on DVD/Blu-ray the first day and a pack of King of Queens playing cards the second. Not realizing I was eligible, I only spun on the second day. I got a see-through tote bag.

So anyway, my panel presentations. That’s where I spent about 75% of my time at Monsterfestmania. And you know, the fact that I got to hobnob with some genuinely big names in the field in such a ‘close’ way, it still blows my mind. Sure, I already knew Mike & Jan Olszewski, Jungle Bob and Keven “Son of Ghoul” Scarpino, but I had never interacted with them like this. It’s a great honor to be up in front of a crowd with people like that. Just like the official website announcement, it makes me feel like a big man.

Above is the first panel of the first day, and my first panel of any kind in any sort of capacity. And it featured big-time author and horror host-expert Michael Monahan! What a way to start!

When it comes to horror hosts, Monahan is basically the final word on the subject; he’s a legitimate font of information on the genre. Ever read the American Scary book, or see the American Scary documentary? Then you’re familiar with Michael Monahan’s expertise. Indeed, I *love* my copy of American Scary; if it’s not the end-all, be-all of horror host books, it’s certainly in the running. Don’t have it? Pick up a copy today!

(Michael Monahan is a prolific author, and he’s certainly written more than just that – check his work out on Amazon!)

Monahan’s panel consisted of his relating the early years of horror hosting, how it came to be a ‘thing,’ and how it played out over the decades. It was a fascinating talk, and about mid-way through the presentation, he brought out David Ivey, who did artwork and cartoons for The Ghoul Show back in the day – how cool is that?! Ivey related stories of working on the show, which were also fascinating.

(Above, Michael Monahan is the one seated on the right, David Ivey standing on the left.)

Next up: Jungle Bob’s animal show! Jung! My buddy!

It’s funny; I basically grew up watching Jungle Bob present animals on The Ghoul Show, and then later The Son of Ghoul Show, but I had never actually seen him “in action,” putting on one of his animal presentations. Man, he has it down. I mean, he’s been doing this sort of thing for nearly 30 years, so of course he does. It goes without saying that his animal shows are immensely entertaining; really, they’re a lot of fun. If you’ve been looking for a special guest for that birthday party, JB is a great choice! (Check out his official website here. Buy his terrific book while you’re at it.)

There were a lot of kids in attendance for JB’s show, and boy, is he great with them. I guess you don’t do this sort of thing for 30 years without being good with kids though, huh? He kept them engaged, he was funny, he was informative, he told stories. In short, vintage classic Jungle Bob.

These panels only had about 50 minute allotments, give or take, so JB didn’t have time for a ton of animals, but he did bring a couple cockroaches (including one that hissed), a ball python, and my favorite, a young alligator snapping turtle that kept his mouth menacingly open most of the time. Good stuff!

My last panel of the first day was “Horror Hosts Reborn,” with Dale Kay of Eerie House (formerly of Kreepy Kastle) heading up a group of online hosts, discussing what opportunities, detriments, and so on that the internet brings the genre. That’s Kay to the far right. Next to him are hosts Tarr & Fether, Fritz the Nite Owl and his producer, and at the end, Mike Mace of The Weirdness Really Bad Movie. The other host of Weirdness, Dave Binkley, was actually at the other end of the table, next to Kay. You saw him earlier in that other shot I used from this panel, and you’ll see him again in a bit, but it looks like I goofed and accidentally cut him out of this shot. I’m sorry Dave!

It was a pretty neat discussion, and since this was the last panel of the day, I let it run well beyond the allotted 50 minutes – it had gained so much momentum by that point that cutting in and ending it would have been incredibly awkward, and besides, I was into it. Internet hosts don’t always get the props they deserve, but there’s a lot that goes into those shows; it was nice to hear all about them from the people that regularly make them happen.

The next day. You’ll notice I am now wearing my official Monsterfestmania shirt under my Sonny Crockett jacket. Update your diaries accordingly.

Mike Olszewski kicked off the day with a talk on the early days of local television, which, if you’re familiar with him, you know he’s pretty much the authority on the subject, and the stories he tells are nothing short of enthralling. That’s not an exaggeration on my part, either; if you have an interest in this sort of thing, you owe it to yourself to pick up something, anything, written by him.

Mike spent nearly as much time in the panel room as I did Saturday. There were four panels that day, and he was there for four of them. For this first one, his wife Jan (who is also just the greatest) did a funny bit where she stood in the crowd and said she’d only interject to correct Mike!

Speaking of humor, yeah, my jokes didn’t really fly with the crowd. Not that I went up there and did stand-up or anything, but I did want to keep things light, you know? For this panel, I mentioned the two books Mike & Jan wrote (Cleveland TV Tales, volumes 1 & 2), and quickly noted that a piece of my Superhost interview was included in the second book. According to me, I said this “puts it up there with Tom Sawyer as the greatest literary work of mankind” or something along those lines. It got like one laugh – from my brother.

The day prior, as I was introducing Michael Monahan, I briefly stated who I was and why I was up there, and when talking about the blog here, I said something like “Google me, check me out, and you’ll come away feeling better about your life!” Yeah, zero reaction. Okay, the crowd ain’t gonna get my humor, gotcha!

(I wasn’t really embarrassed by my failure to elicit Johnny Carson-style laughs during my intros; if anything, *I* found it really, really funny! Though, my planned rip-off of Carnac for next year, should I be invited back, is now effectively nixed.)

Next up: The Ghoulardi Tribute panel, with Michael Monahan, Son of Ghoul, Mike Olszewski, and comics legend Tony Isabella. I wish I actually had a working knowledge of comic books so that I could have had a conversation with Tony, but aside from liking Batman and Superman, I, uh, don’t.

It was a fun panel, talking about the influence Ghoulardi had on anything and everything ever. Much of it was familiar to me already, but hearing it from the authorities on the subject, that’s awesome.

And so, that brought me to the panel I was perhaps most nervous about: The Addams Family presentation, hosted by Ivonna Cadaver (of Youtoo America’s Macabre Theater). You see, I had more than a passing knowledge on everything up to this point, and while I was familiar with Ivonna and her show, my knowledge on The Addams Family is relatively lacking. No knock on the show whatsoever, but I was always, uh, sorta in the Grampa camp.

I needn’t have worried; as I had discovered already, these panels basically run themselves. Those are pros up there onstage, after all. And boy, this one was a LOT of fun, not only because of who was involved, but because this time around, I was really learning things I hadn’t known prior.

And listen to this power line-up: Ivonna Cadaver herself, leading a discussion with Lisa Loring (“Wednesday Addams”) and Felix Silla (“Cousin Itt”). It was funny, entertaining, informative, just a fantastic presentation all around. This one ran a bit shorter than the others, but you know what? The pacing turned out to be perfect. They covered a lot of ground and even got to audience questions, and it never felt rushed or forced or anything other than natural reminiscing. It was great.

One thing about Monsterfestmania that was heavily promoted in the lead-up to the actual show was Son of Ghoul’s 30th anniversary. Certainly you’ll recall my contribution to the celebration back in June. Well, much of Monsterfestmania was focused on that. Indeed, the fourth panel on the last day (and the last real panel; there was a costume contest held in the room afterwards, but that, needless to say, wasn’t quite the same thing) was a “grand finale” of sorts, focusing entirely on Son of Ghoul’s 30 continuous years as a horror host.

This panel was, man, it was just perfect. It was a wonderful summation of just why SOG is so beloved by Northeast Ohioans. And, if it turns out to be the last real “30th anniversary bang,” what a terrific capper it was. Headed up by Michael Monahan (who told a few jokes as he kicked the panel off following my intro – of course everyone laughed at him) and Mike Olszewski, with the man himself as guest of honor, it was just a wonderful 1+ hour presentation.

For the most part, it didn’t stray too far from the format of the other panels: some video clips, a discussion on SOG’s achievement, some reminiscing, even some great stories about Fidge. It was all very entertaining and a worthy tribute to SOG.

But, it was the ‘climax’ of the panel that just put it over the top, taking it from great and putting it solidly into unforgettable territory. Michael Savene, one of the guys behind Monsterfestmania as a whole, joined the panel and, along with Monahan and Olszewski, presented SOG with some truly remarkable gifts: 1) A letter of congratulations, on White House stationary, signed by the President. 2) A letter from Senator Sherrod Brown. 3) A proclamation from Akron Mayor Daniel Horrigan proclaiming June 30, 2016 “Son of Ghoul Day.” 4) A classy lifetime achievement plaque from Monsterfestmania. How great is that?!

I think SOG was genuinely touched to be honored in such a way. How could someone not be? It was just a fantastic, momentous, once-in-a-lifetime event, perfectly commemorating a 30-years-and-counting run that, in all likelihood, will never be equaled – or topped. And to be a part of this tribute in some way, it’s something I am extremely proud of. Even if I had done nothing else this past weekend, this moment alone was worth any anxiety on my part.

(The panel culminated in a special SOG 30th cake, which I stupidly didn’t think to get a picture of.)

---

So, that was basically how my weekend was spent, hobnobbing with people that actually know what they’re talking about. Truth be told, I didn’t have a whole lot of time to spend on the floor, for the most part. I made some rounds before the doors opened on Friday, and for a bit after my last panel that night, and a few points in-between. But, I didn’t really get to go around, meet people, and take pictures with the ‘lebrities until after my last panel on Saturday. Who’d I meet? Read on!

This picture was taken Friday night, a decision that proved to be extremely fortunate. I’ll explain further when I get to the “my stuff” section of this post.

I met Fritz the Nite Owl! When the guests were being announced for Monsterfestmania, this was one of the major draws for me. Longtime readers (or at least longer time readers) will recall I’ve talked about Fritz a bit before here (more on that momentarily). Even though I didn’t grow up watching him (he hails from the Columbus, Ohio market, and I, uh, don’t), I’ve loved everything I’ve seen regarding him. He’s a legitimate horror hosting legend, so if nothing else, I was going to meet him!

And boy oh boy, he was just great! Extremely giving with his time, free with signing autographs, and he told absolutely wonderful stories. Not just quick brush-off stories, either; nope, these were detailed, entertaining stories. And he was the nicest guy during all of it.

As if I couldn’t be any more impressed by him, something he did that I thought was ridiculously cool was his showing up to panels, and then just sitting in the audience, taking it all in. Even though he would eventually be pointed out (and given a round of applause – deservedly so), he wasn’t there for that; he was there to see the presentations. Fritz was just the coolest.

He’s still going, too. Check out his official website for more details!

Also taken Friday night, here I am with the Weirdness Really Bad Movie guys: Dave Binkley on the left, Mike Mace on the right. Really great, super friendly guys. Their talks during the “Horror Hosts Reborn” panel were beyond enlightening.

My doing the panel presentations wasn’t a new development; Michael Savene came to me about a year and a half ago, asking me if I’d like to be involved with the show. Of course I instantly said yes. I had plenty of time to prepare, at least mentally, for that. However, something I was asked to do the first day came out of the blue: make announcements for the charity auctions, panels and movie showings over the loudspeaker. I had no problem with that, but just like the panel presentations, this was all entirely new to me. Mike Mace gave me some pointers, showed me how to use the most ear-grabbing techniques, excellent things to know. Mike’s a good egg.

Check out the official Weirdness Really Bad Movie website here.

Jungle Bob was only there the first day, and in a stunningly goofballed oversight on my part, I neglected to get a picture with him. I mean, sure, I’ve got pictures of myself hangin’ with JB before, but this was Monsterfestmania #1! And I messed up!

So, to make up for that blunder, here’s a zoomed, cropped, overly- blurry shot of the man himself holding a really angry snapping turtle. It was a young alligator snapper, and boy did it act like it!

If you ever have the chance to talk, I mean really talk with JB, he has some absolutely fantastic stories of his years in the business. I won’t divulge his Rock Hall tale here, that’s his turf, but it’s just great. JB is, without a doubt, “the dude.”

The Yess Man!

Jesse Vance was/is not only one of the masterminds behind Monsterfestmania, but also a very good friend of mine. Popularly known as “The Yess Man” (he’s got the juice), Jesse is largely to thank for this this post and this post, as well as tons of great material that hasn’t even been hinted at on this blog yet. Seriously, he’s always helping me out with the cool winnins, and even if he didn’t, he’d still be one of the best friends I’ve got. One of the funniest, coolest guys I’ve ever known. He was also a huge help to me in the time leading up to the show, and even during the show itself. Thanks, Yess Man!

Look who I did done runned into! My buddy Steve from high school!

Let me be frank, there’s really only a handful of people I’d care to run into from high school, and make no mistake, Steve is one of them. He was one of the coolest guys then, and he’s one of the coolest guys now. Even back then, we could sit and discuss movies, especially horror & sci-fi movies, for great lengths of time. Also, I refuse to believe anyone knows more about Batman than Steve. Dude’s even got a legit Adam West Batman costume!

I won’t divulge too much, but chances are we’ll be seeing Steve again on the blog; we’ve already come up with some great ideas for post-collaboratin’!

I wonder if it was deflating for Son of Ghoul to get a letter from the president and a plaque and a big ol’ cake, and then almost immediately afterwards have to take pictures like this with me?

I had a lot of fun and some great conversations with SOG both days. Because of my white jacket, and because he knows me, he liked to shout “Waiter! Water!” whenever I walked by. I got a kick out of it, and eventually I decided it would be pretty funny if I actually brought him some water. I had this big long comedy routine worked out in my head for when I did, too. When I gave him the cup though, he seemed a little confused and admitted he “was just joking!” That, of course, kind of put an end to any ostensibly-hilarious bit I had planned before it even got started.

My sense of humor was really batting zippo with the masses…

(Remember that time I interviewed SOG? It happened, and it was earth-shattering.)

Hanging with the guys from the last panel of the first day on, uh, the last day. On the left: internet hosts Tarr & Fether. On the right: Dale Kay. In the middle: my really cool official Monsterfestmania t-shirt. (They let us keep ’em, too!)

Had some great talks with Dale; when all was said and done, panel-wise, we chatted a bit outside on Saturday (finally had time to get some food!). I admit it took me a second to recognize him without the hat (I was pretty beat by that point, y’see). Dale mentioned the old Ghoul skit where a stuffed Gamera was sent zooming across the studio – anyone who loves that bit as much as I do is automatically my friend.

On the left, Michael Monahan. On the right, Dave Ivey. It was awesome meeting Dave; so much of his work was familiar to me, except I didn’t know it was his. A great artist and a great guy.

Had some terrific conversations with Michael Monahan. We both agreed Dr. Paul Bearer was one of the absolute greats, and we discussed our obtaining of various horror host material. I even showed him the clip of Renfield on my phone; it was a new one on him, so the mystery of the show continues – if it’s unfamiliar to Michael Monahan, it must be mega-obscure!

I met Ivonna Cadaver!

Ivonna Cadaver hosts Macabre Theater on Youtoo America every Saturday night at 10 PM. It’s tough for any host to make it on local TV, never mind national TV, and to be doing it since 2002? That’s beyond impressive. I told her myself how awesome an achievement it was to make it on national TV, too.

And boy, she was just absolutely the nicest. She even told me a couple of times how well I did presenting her panel. She even stopped in to watch the SOG 30th presentation from the audience, completely unannounced, just taking it all in. I think that’s such a cool thing for a fellow host to do. I’m extremely glad I had a chance to talk with her and get a photo.

I met Ivonna Cadaver!

Hangin’ with my Facebook pal, Dr. Dark aka Justin Thomas Ord! Great, great guy – very friendly and a lot of fun to talk to. He was there the first day, and I was looking for him – but being out of costume, I completely missed him! That was obviously rectified the second day, and I’m glad it was; I would have been bummed otherwise.

Also, is it just me or does his costume recall The Shroud? That alone makes him “the man!”

I had, had, to get a picture with, I’m convinced, two of the nicest people in the whole wide world: Mike & Jan Olszewski! Who’s that curly-headed guy? That’s my brother Luke! No, I don’t think we look alike, but tis true nevertheless. Also, that’s a lot of Monsterfestmania shirts in one picture.

Mike paid me a wildly high compliment early on the first day: he told me I was like a 60-year-old in the body of a 20-year-old, because of what I generally write about. Could’ve knocked me over with a feather!

The reason I found that especially complimentary? Doing what I do, and being as old (or young) as I am, I’ve naturally run into some people that, right off the bat, don’t take me seriously, or worse yet, don’t think I actually know what I’m talking about. I’m generally an easygoing guy, but that mindset can and does irritate me really, really fast, because it’s based on a preconceived notion without any evidence on their part to back it up. So, to hear such a compliment from someone that knows more about TV than, well, pretty much anyone, it’s both insanely flattering and a kind of validation.

Mike & Jan really are just wonderful. Y’all should go and buy both volumes of their Cleveland TV Tales, if you haven’t done so yet. I’m not just saying that because I’m so fond of the authors, either; these are genuine must-reads! Plus, if you think about it, the bits from my Superhost interview in Volume 2 really do elevate the book to Tom Sawyer-status, whether the audience recognizes it or not. [Insert winky emoticon here.]

And finally, things wouldn’t be complete without a picture of myself with fearless leader, Michael Savene! Michael is one of the main-brains behind not only Monsterfestmania but also Akron Comicon, and make no mistake, he and the other folks behind these shows know how to run a convention. They did a phenomenal job; the first-ever Monsterfestmania was a total blast. I can’t thank him enough for allowing me to be a part of all this!

Also, eagle-eyes will notice we were photobombed by The Yess Man!

---

Just for fun:

The Yess Man and I messing around with some zombie-thing. I’m not sure why, but I was pretty tired and probably fairly slap-happy by that point. Looks like we’re helping him get up off the ground or something.

More just for fun:

Son of Ghoul at his most Batman-ish. It looks like he just rolled in off the set of Batman Returns. I’m not sure why my mind heads towards Batman Returns and not, say, the ’89 Batman, but whatever. In his hand, SOG holds a plastic cup of punch. I capture all of the special little moments in life, don’t I?

Last just for fun:

A wildly blurry and off-center photo of me with Fritz the Nite Owl. I’m not sure why my brother snapped this, but to tell you the truth, I kinda like it. It’s avant garde or artsy or something like that.

---

I usually wrap these convention recap posts up with a look at my loot, my booty, my haul. That is, the cool stuff I picked up at the show. I actually didn’t buy much there, mainly because I didn’t have a whole lot of time. Well, that’s not quite true; I didn’t buy anything. That doesn’t mean I didn’t come home with some cool stuff though. Besides the everlastingly-awesome convention t-shirt, check these goods out…

Because I used my bean and got a picture with Fritz at the end of the first night, that meant I had time to get an 8×10 glossy of the occurrence printed out and subsequently signed the next day! A pic with Fritz and his autograph? It doesn’t get much cooler than that! Also, a post, the one I alluded to earlier, featured an image from his run on WBNS TV-10, spotlighting Taxi and his Double Chiller Nite Owl Theater program. I’ve got several Fritz promos, but this was the only one specifically horror-related. So, I figured why not get a glossy print-out of that sceencap, too. Fritz was gracious enough to sign it as well (and he told me quite a bit about some of his other station duties around that time period).

In the same arena, a couple of SOG screencaps from promos I’ve found, printed out as glossies and graciously signed by the man himself. The one on top is a clip from his 7th anniversary special promo (WOAC TV-67, 1993), and the one below is a shot from his 2015 promo announcing his timeslot change (as far as I know, this is the newest promo he has). We actually saw that one here before, when I was trying to spread the word of the change.

I like getting these sorts of things signed because, frankly, I’ve already got much of the ‘normal’ stuff; I like to have something unique added to my collection, something not everyone else has. Methinks these fit the bill.

Last but certainly not least: a Son of Ghoul commemorative 30th anniversary Monsterfestmania mug! Still new in the plastic! This was a complimentary gift, given to me when I got my t-shirt before the doors opened on the first day. (My brother got a mug and shirt to call his own as well.) I THIS LOVE MUG. It’s an exclusive thing, celebrating both SOG’s 30th and the convention I was proud to be a part of. It will probably stay new in the plastic, because if I were ever to try using it, I know I’d be freaking out over it, worried I’d break it or chip it or what have you.

I THIS LOVE MUG!

---

I do believe that about wraps this recap up. I had a fantastic two days at Monsterfestmania #1. Not only was it a learning experience, but it was a fun learning experience. I met some great people, got some awesome pictures, brought home some cool memorabilia, and helped get my silly little blog out there a bit more (some guy even asked me for my card; never thinking anyone would care enough to want a card, I instead wrote down the web address on a sad piece of notepad paper).

My sincerest thanks again to Michael Savene, Jesse Vance and everyone else that helped make this happen. It was and is a honor and pleasure to be a part of the show, and should you want me back for the next one, hey, I’m there!

(Here is the official Monsterfestmania website. Check it out, and if you didn’t make it to the show this year, try to come out next year!)